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New to adoption and would like some advice

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:37 AM
  • 4 Replies

What did you look for in the adoption agency?

About how much did is cost from start to finish?

What agency did you go with and why? (you can MSG me if you are not able to post)

What do you wish you were told about adoption?

Thank you for your time, this is so overwhelming when looking at the stack of adoption agencies sitting on my table I just have no idea.

by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:37 AM
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by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:04 PM

Hi, I know you've posted a little bit before, but I'm sorry to say I don't remember your story... Are you guys looking for agencies for foster adoption, international, or domestic infant?

I think you'll get more helpful answers if you let us know what type of adoption you're pursuing... For example, my decision to go directly through the county rather than an agency might not be helpful if you're not looking at foster adoption! :)

by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 5:59 PM

we are looking at domestic infant adoption

by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 11:10 AM

We have 5 adopted chlldren (all international) - it's a blessing, so don't let the process overwhelm you!  

1.  The agency needs to show a proven track record - how many adoptions per month and per year over the past 3-5 years? Caseworkers - how many do they have and how many families do they each support? What countries or states do they adopt the most from and where do they not adopt from and why? How do they communicate with their families and how often?

2. We spent about on average $25,000 (in total - travel, etc) for each of our adoptions - again international. One of our countries made us travel there 3 times - so it depends on where you go to adopt.

3. Our agency was sold and it no longer available.

4. Not to be so specific about the child you are looking for - I always tell other parents to open the door a bit and be amazed at the number of children you might have missed out on.  Are you willing to go up to 2 years of age? Are you willing to take mild special needs (it could be something super easy to care for)? are you willing to consider a boy? are you willing to consider a sibling group? (we did that two different times).

Good luck - feel free to message me anytime!

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:11 AM

Both of my kids were domestic newborn adoptions. We looked for an agency with a good track record that gives good support to both the birthfamily and adopting family. (my SIL's agency did not do either) I liked the fact that ours does a profile for each family so that the birthfamily gets the same kind of information about each family. They also do a matching process where they only show your profile to moms who are looking for your type of family and the situation fits mostly within whatever budget you set so that there's less chance of matching with someone and it not working out. They also don't match women until later in the pregnancy and help weed out scammers (IMO). After 2 1/2 years of fertilty treatments and miscarriage heartbreak I just wanted to put the process in someone else's hands and not have to go through the rollercoaster of knowing my profile had been shown to a birthmom and then being crushed when she picked someone else. We were only notified when we were officially chosen. There was also a little less chance of losing substantial amounts of money if someone changed their mind. The agency handled everything for us regarding getting birthmom any monthly assistance she needed, they handled the consents and all the legal stuff. I just felt better knowing that everything was taken care of, every i dotted and every t crossed and that we didn't forget anything or do anything wrong that could jeopordize the adoption being finalized.

We used American Adoptions and each adoption ranged from $23-28K not including travel/hotels, and then we got back $12-13K the following year from the adoption tax credit when we did our taxes. I know American has different programs and can accomodate different budgets.

I do get an email from an adoption lawyer in Florida who handles a few cases per year. Message me if you want his info.

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