I am in the process of adopting my four year old nephew. I've had custody of him since he was 20 months old and it's been a lot of ups and downs. The adoption is scheduled for November 2 of this year. He has been my son since the day I got him.
He doesn't even remember my sister as his mother. She was abusive and neglectful of him. She was on drugs and was all around a terrible mother. My parents adopted her first son just months before she gave birth to the second (mine). She has now started to get her life together and has been clean for about a year, which is wonderful. I often find myself being resentful though. She has never worked a full time job. She's been on SSI forever. She gets all kinds of government assistance.
I am raising a child she gave birth to, but she has never contributed anything to his upbringing except a lot of behavior problems and more than likely some horrible genetics. Actually there has never been any kind of support for my boy from anywhere.
I am in a horrible place in my life. I have been out of work for two years now, am ready to seperate from my husband but cannot afford it and am fighting a battle of behaviors with a four year old. Life is very complicated and messy, but I find myself hating my sister for putting an added responsibility on me. I love my boy and would not give him up for anything, but I don't know what to do to get over this resentment. I don't want it to rub off on him in any way. Advice, anyone?