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Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

Bureaucracy...UPDATE.

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 5:52 PM
  • 7 Replies

I'm so frustrated!  Our case worker told us in August that we could start inquiring and getting information on waiting children (we were still in our foster parents class).  That's how we came into being considered for J.  J's case worker had been waiting on our homestudy.   I called our case worker's office to see if it had been sent yet.  I was told that until we complete the adoption class (which they JUST scheduled for January) they won't send out our homestudy.  There is no reason they can give us for this, expect we have to have this class completed before we can FINALIZE an adoption.  This goes against what I was previously told.

I emailed J's case worker last week to let her know what I was told.  It's been over a week and I still haven't gotten an email back.  Now J's profile has been taken off of the photolisting.  I'm wondering if they chose a different family.  I emailed her case worker to ask if we could just know if another family was chosen.

If one has been, I'm okay.  I'm glad she may have found a home, even if it isn't ours.  I know that if another family was chosen, that just means God has a different child for us.  God knows better than I, so I'm completely fine with that.  However, I'm really frustrated with our case worker.  Why the bureaucracy (though I know that's just how the system tends to go)?  I feel like we are trying to do a good thing, a great thing, and they are just standing in our way.  DH questioned at first if we could to foster care (in hopes to adopt) if we have to work with this case worker.  But we know either way if we want to adopt through foster care we have to work with her.  I really don't want to deal with the bureaucracy, but I know I can't give up because I want so badly to adopt.  I truly believe God has lead us to adopt.  I'm trying just to lean on God and trust he is in control.


Update:  I just got an email from J's case worker stating that they did choose another family for her.  She was nice and friendly (as she's been in all our interaction with her) and wished us well in finding the child for our family.

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 5:52 PM
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Replies (1-7):
aprilz1225
by Silver Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 6:42 PM

 ahh the never ending adoption roller coster.. of love.. your child's out there just hang in there.

bekalynne440
by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 6:46 PM

I really believe there is a child out there for us.  That's while I can't give up, even though it can get pretty frustrating.

Quoting aprilz1225:

 ahh the never ending adoption roller coster.. of love.. your child's out there just hang in there.


SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Dec. 5, 2012 at 11:28 PM

Can you speak with your CW's supervisor? If you had previously been told that the policy was different, that you could submit a homestudy prior to completing classes, it's at least worth following up on...

I know here, you do not have a completed homestudy until you have done the training (ours is CWTI).

It sounds like you still have such a great attitude and perspective on the whole situation... But still it hurts and is frustrating. You have been through a pretty big process to get this far on inquiring with J. I'm sorry to hear that your agency's poor communication may have affected the decision. :(

But you are right, God does have a plan for your family and for J. Please keep us posted. I have been wondering if you would hear soon... (((HUGS)))

harmony7
by Bronze Member on Dec. 6, 2012 at 7:28 AM

 It took us 2 years from the date the papers arrived in our hand to get our children...because it took 22 months to get them to complete our homestudy!!...homestudy was completed one year and four months After our classes...talk about maddening...but all part of the joys of working with DHR.

Pam in Alabama
A Mom to nine sons and one daughter with five still at home
bekalynne440
by on Dec. 6, 2012 at 12:23 PM

Oh my goodness!  I can't imagine waiting that long to get your homestudy done!  That is ridiculous!  My husband said "No wonder they have a "shortage of homes".  They have willing parents but aren't putting kids with them!"

Quoting harmony7:

 It took us 2 years from the date the papers arrived in our hand to get our children...because it took 22 months to get them to complete our homestudy!!...homestudy was completed one year and four months After our classes...talk about maddening...but all part of the joys of working with DHR.


SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Dec. 6, 2012 at 7:27 PM
I'm, glad you got an answer, even if it wasn't the one you were hoping for. Wishing the best for J in her new adoptive family and for your family as you continue the journey.
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bekalynne440
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:32 AM

I'm glad we did too.  I hope her new family is the perfect fit for her, and that she's able to grow and heal.  I talked with our case worker today and let her know that we can take foster kids after the 16th (I figured we should wait until we have Christmas out of town/state that weekend with family), and she seemed pleasantly surprised.  I think she thought that since we were looking at waiting children we were no longer open to being foster parents.

Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

I'm, glad you got an answer, even if it wasn't the one you were hoping for. Wishing the best for J in her new adoptive family and for your family as you continue the journey.


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