Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

Lawyer today!

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:32 AM
  • 9 Replies

Today at 8am we got to the lawyer with our cousin and her boyfriend to talk about adopting their baby girl.

I am so nervous and I am hoping this all goes well and everything happens for the best and I hope they don't cahnge their mind when she is born and hold her. I know she is not due til June but I am already hoping that we can get everything done before she is born so we can take her home with us after she is born(if that will be possible) I wish there was an easier way to do this but I am ready!

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 5:32 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I hope you have a productive meeting today. I'm sure you'll get a lot of your questions answered.

I always try to keep in mind that adoption is intended to provide homes and families for children who truly need them. If your cousin ends up being able to parent, then it is likely a good thing for the baby to remain with a mother who loves and can care for her in spite of her young age... Though I know it will be hard for you and DH. Since you already care deeply about this baby, perhaps you can decide to be support people for your cousin no matter what happens. Whether she chooses adoption and you parent the baby, or whether she decides to become a young single mom, it's likely that your cousin will need support in the coming months. I don't know about your relationship with this cousin, but it's just a thought I wanted to put out there.


As you are already finding out, adoption involves a lot of uncertainty and a lot of waiting. It's very stressful and nerve-wracking, especially because we have such little control over the process! We will all hear you on that one, most all of us have been in that painful place. Hang in there, and best wishes as you begin to investigate adoption!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
aprilz1225
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:41 AM
1 mom liked this

 i agree with SSQ on this. it is still early and the more info you all have about this the best. she could fliip-flop her plan quite a few times prir to birth and after. what ever she does and how bad it will hurt, you need to continue what ever support emotionally you can give her either way.

Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

I hope you have a productive meeting today. I'm sure you'll get a lot of your questions answered.

I always try to keep in mind that adoption is intended to provide homes and families for children who truly need them. If your cousin ends up being able to parent, then it is likely a good thing for the baby to remain with a mother who loves and can care for her in spite of her young age... Though I know it will be hard for you and DH. Since you already care deeply about this baby, perhaps you can decide to be support people for your cousin no matter what happens. Whether she chooses adoption and you parent the baby, or whether she decides to become a young single mom, it's likely that your cousin will need support in the coming months. I don't know about your relationship with this cousin, but it's just a thought I wanted to put out there.


As you are already finding out, adoption involves a lot of uncertainty and a lot of waiting. It's very stressful and nerve-wracking, especially because we have such little control over the process! We will all hear you on that one, most all of us have been in that painful place. Hang in there, and best wishes as you begin to investigate adoption!

 

eoewan
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 10:03 AM
1 mom liked this

When dd gave birth she did change her mind in the hospital. We were not angry. We were not upset. We encouraged her decision and supported her. Dd tried for 2 months to be a mummy but she couldn't do it. Because all the prep work had been done prior to Nye's birth date, it was easier to finalize when dd made her final decision for us to adopt. There was sadness that dd realized she couldn't be a mum. Sadness on our part for her and for Nye.

In retrospect, I'm glad she did try to be a mum. It made her decision to have her dad and I adopt was dealt with a calmness and peacefulness that helped everyone.

You can only hope and wish for the best end result for the babe. If your cousin changes her mind at the last minute - well then that is okay (and remind yourself of that too).

cheers, donna

VladimirsMama
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:12 PM

I am supporting here with which ever she choses and will be happy for the baby either way

Quoting aprilz1225:

 i agree with SSQ on this. it is still early and the more info you all have about this the best. she could fliip-flop her plan quite a few times prir to birth and after. what ever she does and how bad it will hurt, you need to continue what ever support emotionally you can give her either way.

Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

I hope you have a productive meeting today. I'm sure you'll get a lot of your questions answered.

I always try to keep in mind that adoption is intended to provide homes and families for children who truly need them. If your cousin ends up being able to parent, then it is likely a good thing for the baby to remain with a mother who loves and can care for her in spite of her young age... Though I know it will be hard for you and DH. Since you already care deeply about this baby, perhaps you can decide to be support people for your cousin no matter what happens. Whether she chooses adoption and you parent the baby, or whether she decides to become a young single mom, it's likely that your cousin will need support in the coming months. I don't know about your relationship with this cousin, but it's just a thought I wanted to put out there.


As you are already finding out, adoption involves a lot of uncertainty and a lot of waiting. It's very stressful and nerve-wracking, especially because we have such little control over the process! We will all hear you on that one, most all of us have been in that painful place. Hang in there, and best wishes as you begin to investigate adoption!

 


VladimirsMama
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:16 PM

Thanks we had a lot of questions answered and signed some papers and we were told we could have everything rush (house inspection and ect) 

Quoting eoewan:

When dd gave birth she did change her mind in the hospital. We were not angry. We were not upset. We encouraged her decision and supported her. Dd tried for 2 months to be a mummy but she couldn't do it. Because all the prep work had been done prior to Nye's birth date, it was easier to finalize when dd made her final decision for us to adopt. There was sadness that dd realized she couldn't be a mum. Sadness on our part for her and for Nye.

In retrospect, I'm glad she did try to be a mum. It made her decision to have her dad and I adopt was dealt with a calmness and peacefulness that helped everyone.

You can only hope and wish for the best end result for the babe. If your cousin changes her mind at the last minute - well then that is okay (and remind yourself of that too).

cheers, donna


SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:49 PM

Glad to hear you were able to get some of your questions answered. Best to you as you begin the homestudy process... Let us know if you have any questions, most of us have dealt with that process before! :)

Quoting VladimirsMama:

Thanks we had a lot of questions answered and signed some papers and we were told we could have everything rush (house inspection and ect) 

Quoting eoewan:

When dd gave birth she did change her mind in the hospital. We were not angry. We were not upset. We encouraged her decision and supported her. Dd tried for 2 months to be a mummy but she couldn't do it. Because all the prep work had been done prior to Nye's birth date, it was easier to finalize when dd made her final decision for us to adopt. There was sadness that dd realized she couldn't be a mum. Sadness on our part for her and for Nye.

In retrospect, I'm glad she did try to be a mum. It made her decision to have her dad and I adopt was dealt with a calmness and peacefulness that helped everyone.

You can only hope and wish for the best end result for the babe. If your cousin changes her mind at the last minute - well then that is okay (and remind yourself of that too).

cheers, donna




VladimirsMama
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:14 PM

do they only dothe home study once?


Qoting SarahSuzyQ:

Glad to hear you were able to get some of your questions answered. Best to you as you begin the homestudy process... Let us know if you have any questions, most of us have dealt with that process before! :)

Quoting VladimirsMama:

Thanks we had a lot of questions answered and signed some papers and we were told we could have everything rush (house inspection and ect) 

Quoting eoewan:

When dd gave birth she did change her mind in the hospital. We were not angry. We were not upset. We encouraged her decision and supported her. Dd tried for 2 months to be a mummy but she couldn't do it. Because all the prep work had been done prior to Nye's birth date, it was easier to finalize when dd made her final decision for us to adopt. There was sadness that dd realized she couldn't be a mum. Sadness on our part for her and for Nye.

In retrospect, I'm glad she did try to be a mum. It made her decision to have her dad and I adopt was dealt with a calmness and peacefulness that helped everyone.

You can only hope and wish for the best end result for the babe. If your cousin changes her mind at the last minute - well then that is okay (and remind yourself of that too).

cheers, donna





SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:34 PM
Usually a home study includes at least two home visits, one of which may be an inspection depending on your agency and state requirements. I'm sure the agency you contract with for the home study can let you know their process.


Quoting VladimirsMama:

do they only dothe home study once?


Qoting SarahSuzyQ:

Glad to hear you were able to get some of your questions answered. Best to you as you begin the homestudy process... Let us know if you have any questions, most of us have dealt with that process before! :)


Quoting VladimirsMama:

Thanks we had a lot of questions answered and signed some papers and we were told we could have everything rush (house inspection and ect) 

Quoting eoewan:

When dd gave birth she did change her mind in the hospital. We were not angry. We were not upset. We encouraged her decision and supported her. Dd tried for 2 months to be a mummy but she couldn't do it. Because all the prep work had been done prior to Nye's birth date, it was easier to finalize when dd made her final decision for us to adopt. There was sadness that dd realized she couldn't be a mum. Sadness on our part for her and for Nye.

In retrospect, I'm glad she did try to be a mum. It made her decision to have her dad and I adopt was dealt with a calmness and peacefulness that helped everyone.

You can only hope and wish for the best end result for the babe. If your cousin changes her mind at the last minute - well then that is okay (and remind yourself of that too).

cheers, donna







Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
meam4444
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:12 PM

 Wishing you the best at your meeting.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)