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Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

Anxious Momma

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:04 PM
  • 7 Replies

I am a proud mom of 2 beautiful children. Our son is 4 years old and our daughter is 8 months. Bethany facilitated our son's adoption. From application to bringing him home was less than a year. We have an open adoption and visit his birthfamily yearly. Our daughter came into our family through the Safe Haven program through DCS. The process has been slow but we are weeks from finalization. Both of my children are healthy, happy, and developing on target. I am 4o years old and hoped to be done with family planning at this time in my life. My husband and I would like another child. However, our budget does not allow us to go through an agency this time around and we were incredibly blessed that our daughter was born free of drugs and health problems. We are waiting for another Safe Haven situation but we have been told those are extremely rare situations. We were hoping to find a birthmom to work with our lawyer. Our caseworker wants us to go the traditional foster care route but it really scares me. I'm afraid of drug exposure and falling in love with a baby and then having to return him/her to an awful situation. I'm just so anxious because we are getting older and we want another baby soon . frustrated

by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:04 PM
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Replies (1-7):
raleyfamily
by Carla on Jan. 19, 2013 at 10:22 AM
1 mom liked this

Most people, when they decide to adopt, want the baby soon.  I have adopted two drug exposed children, and both are above average intelligence, although the little boy has some emotional issues, they are a thousand times better now that we watch his diet, and he is better behaved than the majority of children I see.  I think it's more the alcohol exposure than the drugs, actually!

There are a LOT of people out there who want an unscathed baby, and they want it very quickly.  You are going to need your patience, and lots of conversations with the Lord to keep calm.

By the way, I have seven biological children, and am working on adoptions 4 and 5, which will be final next week.  I was 42 when I gave birth for the last time, and in my 50's with all five of our adoptions!

Carla Raley, wife of Bill, mom of 10, foster mom of more than 50
Visit my blogs for stories of the life of an older mom raising a large family, foster/adoption and homeschooling
http://raleyfamilysfarm.blogspot.com/

http://bookreviewsbycarla.blogspot.com/



prettynikki40
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:12 AM

Thank you for your words of inspiration. If we do not get a call by summer, we are planning on opening ourselves to a foster situation. My husband and I work full time in public schools. We have summers off. I told my caseworker that we'd like to get our feet wet with foster care this summer. Our daughter's adoption was through DCS and she was in foster care for 2 weeks. Her circumstances were not typical of most foster care situations. I will continue to pray and ask the Lord what He wants us to do. I know we have room for 1 one more.

I will read your blog. Sound inspiring.

 

Nikki

dbra
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:54 AM

I wouldn't be so fearful of drug exposed babies. We've fostered two now, one to adoption. They often need special care at first, but they catch up quickly! I agree with the comment that alcohol is way more damaging, and the effects are often permanent. I would add smoking to that as well.

ljnnmommy
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:54 AM
1 mom liked this

Both my girls were born with drugs in their system and they are both perfectly fine :) good luck!

SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:13 PM

Welcome. It sounds like you are trying to be realistic about your own limitations and at the same time open to what God has for your family. I don't think you will go wrong if you continue to seek God in the midst of the stress and the uncertainty.

Our situation was a much more typical foster care situation, with my son coming to us at 2.5 and staying for over two years before he was adopted... But honestly, I would not change a thing. He is my child and I would go through absolutely whatever it takes for him. I'm sure you feel the same for your two, and you will for whpever else joins your family, whatever shape that takes. Best wishes to you as you try to discern what is next.

prettynikki40
by Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 9:09 AM

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and reassurance.

meam4444
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:24 PM

 Welcome to the group--I have no advice, but wanted to welcome you here!!

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