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Adoptive Moms Adoptive Moms

I thought this might be fun to remember...

Posted by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:32 AM
  • 22 Replies

 Why did you initially decide to adopt?  What were your feelings?  When you saw your baby (or big kid!) for the first time what went through your mind? 

by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SarahSuzyQ
by Sarah on Jan. 24, 2013 at 10:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Boy, the memories...

I decided to adopt when I was in middle school, but DH and I decided together after we'd been married a few years. We had several opportunities to talk about the fact that there were orphans and children in need, and eventually came to recognize that we both felt like we could be a family for some of those kids. We decided against having biological children, and instead started researching foster care adoption.

The first time I saw N, I was just returning from leading a 3-day camping trip with a group of high school seniors. I unpacked a van full of camping equipment, jumped in my car, and sped down the highway to DHHS. My husband beat me by about 20 minutes. I called the worker, walked into the office, and saw my husband sitting on a couch with a tired, quiet, curly-headed boy on his lap. We talked quietly, to him and to the worker; he didn't acknowledge us. Before too much time had passed, somebody gave us a carseat and we started loading things into my car.

I could not have imagined that this child would grow into the bright, engaging, amazing boy that he is. Nor could I have imagined how deeply he would touch my heart, and how thankful I have become to be his mom.

maggiemom2000
by Bronze Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 10:27 PM
3 moms liked this

I've wanted to adopt out of foster care for about as long as I can remember. Before DH and I got married it was something we talked about doing. We got arrived in 1999, had bio DS1 in 2000, then bio DS2 in 2001. Due to several medical issues my doc strongly suggested that I not get pregnant again. I was heartbroken, but knew he was right and that it meant the rest of our children were meant to be adopted.

When I first met DD we were brought to see her in the NICU. She was 17 days old and weighed 4 lbs. 0 oz. When I saw her my heart jumped out if my chest. I knew she was my baby and I started crying. "she looks just like DH!" was the first thing I said.

Mweddle
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:54 AM
1 mom liked this

 I LOVE these!  Here is mine!

I wanted to be a foster mom when I was a kid.  Its always been on my heart.  Little did I know God was preparing me since I was a little girl for my role as mom.  I got married young and we started trying for a baby about 6 months after we got married.  Well we couldn't get pregnant so we desperately tried for 3 years to get pregnant.  While I was going through that adoption was kind of a bad word.  I didn't want to hear it.  I didn't want my option to be taken away.  I had all those fears that I think are normal like, I would be able to love a child that wasn't mine biologically...etc.   However one night about a month before I did IVF I felt a STRONG sense that I was meant to adopt.  I started looking at adoption websites and waiting children. (mostly in other countries)  We did IVF and while I was on my bedrest healing I KNEW in my heart it was going to fail.  I laid there looking at pictures of waiting children.  I knew my purpose.  Well...it failed. 

We had a lot of medical debt so we knew we couldn't pursue an adoption at that time..that is until we found out about the waiting child program through the state.  We started the process thinking it would take years (since we weren't fostering and since we had heard it takes years) and in Sept., 5 months after I requested the information packet I got a call at work.  NOBODY calls me at work so I'm thinking someone has died or been injured. I pick  up the phone and all the voice says is, "I have good news for you."  I was in the middle of my salon in front of my co-workers and customers and I fell to the ground in tears.  I found out that it was a girl and that she was 15 months old. (although when we signed the paperwork we found out they had the wrong date and she was actually 9 months old)  I went home and we got our room all girly.  A week later they pulled into the driveway and I went out excited and terrified and they pull this car seat out of the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen.  I could not believe my eyes.  I took her in my arms and I knew at that second that blood didn't matter and that she WAS MINE.  All my fears were put to rest.  I honestly could not believe that God blessed me so much.  I still don't understand it.  She is an incredible little person.

I so wish I could say that adoption wasn't the final option for us but it was but the second time it was our first choice.  We understood more.  We decided that we would not pursue any other treatments (even though we were told that 3 cycles of IVF would give us great chances of a bio baby) The first time I saw my son I was melted by his beautiful face and his sweet spirit and eagerness to have me as mommy. We have had so many beautiful moments and touching moments together and its only been 4 months!  I know its fast but he IS MY SON.  I am SOOOOO blessed to have my kids.

The first time I met my other two I was taken aback by how much they look like their sister.  They felt like they were a part of me because of that.  They are so so sweet and I can't wait to have a homecoming story for them.

PS we started Dave Ramsey and we paid off all of our medical debt!  ;)

shay0810
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 7:35 AM
1 mom liked this
Ok... We decided to foster when I was pg with dd1. At that point in time, we were not thinking adoption, just helping kids that were in a rough spot. After dd2 was born, we found out that I could not have any more babies. I always wanted a big family, so we started entertaining the idea of adoption. We told the agency that we were open to getting adoption referrals, but for the next few years, nothing came of it. Finally, they called us and said they had a baby boy that was legal risk. For a couple reasons, he was hard to find an adoptive placement for. I said "yes" without even calling dh.. Lol. It was that evening before we got to go pick him up. The caseworker was holding him, and I remember thinking that he was the chubbiest baby! Lol... Now he is 2/1/2, and I can't imagine life without him!
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mcginnisc
by Claire on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:35 AM



Quoting SarahSuzyQ:

Boy, the memories...

I decided to adopt when I was in middle school, but DH and I decided together after we'd been married a few years. We had several opportunities to talk about the fact that their were orphans and children in need, and eventually came to recognize that we both felt like we could be a family for some of those kids. We decided against having biological children, and instead started researching foster care adoption.

The first time I saw N, I was just returning from leading a 3-day camping trip with a group of high school seniors. I unpacked a van full of camping equipment, jumped in my car, and sped down the highway to DHHS. My husband beat me by about 20 minutes. I called the worker, walked into the office, and saw my husband sitting on a couch with a tired, quiet, curly-headed boy on his lap. We talked quietly, to him and to the worker; he didn't acknowledge us. Before too much time had passed, somebody gave us a carseat and we started loading things into my car.

I could not have imagined that this child would grow into the bright, engaging, amazing boy that he is. Nor could I have imagined how deeply he would touch my heart, and how thankful I have become to be his mom.


Awww... I love that your DH beat you there! That is awesome! 

Claire

Moderator: Healthy Weight Loss & Adoptive Moms

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Join theAdoptive Moms group

mcginnisc
by Claire on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:36 AM



Quoting maggiemom2000:

I've wanted to adopt out of foster care for about as long as I can remember. Before DH and I got married it was something we talked about doing. We got arrived in 1999, had bio DS1 in 2000, then bio DS2 in 2001. Due to several medical issues my doc strongly suggested that I not get pregnant again. I was heartbroken, but knew he was right and that it meant the rest of our children were meant to be adopted.

When I first met DD we were brought to see her in the NICU. She was 17 days old and weighed 4 lbs. 0 oz. When I saw her my heart jumped out if my chest. I knew she was my baby and I started crying. "she looks just like DH!" was the first thing I said.

What a sweet story!


Claire

Moderator: Healthy Weight Loss & Adoptive Moms

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Join theAdoptive Moms group

mcginnisc
by Claire on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:43 AM



Quoting Mweddle:

 I LOVE these!  Here is mine!

I wanted to be a foster mom when I was a kid.  Its always been on my heart.  Little did I know God was preparing me since I was a little girl for my role as mom.  I got married young and we started trying for a baby about 6 months after we got married.  Well we couldn't get pregnant so we desperately tried for 3 years to get pregnant.  While I was going through that adoption was kind of a bad word.  I didn't want to hear it.  I didn't want my option to be taken away.  I had all those fears that I think are normal like, I would be able to love a child that wasn't mine biologically...etc.   However one night about a month before I did IVF I felt a STRONG sense that I was meant to adopt.  I started looking at adoption websites and waiting children. (mostly in other countries)  We did IVF and while I was on my bedrest healing I KNEW in my heart it was going to fail.  I laid there looking at pictures of waiting children.  I knew my purpose.  Well...it failed. 

We had a lot of medical debt so we knew we couldn't pursue an adoption at that time..that is until we found out about the waiting child program through the state.  We started the process thinking it would take years (since we weren't fostering and since we had heard it takes years) and in Sept., 5 months after I requested the information packet I got a call at work.  NOBODY calls me at work so I'm thinking someone has died or been injured. I pick  up the phone and all the voice says is, "I have good news for you."  I was in the middle of my salon in front of my co-workers and customers and I fell to the ground in tears.  I found out that it was a girl and that she was 15 months old. (although when we signed the paperwork we found out they had the wrong date and she was actually 9 months old)  I went home and we got our room all girly.  A week later they pulled into the driveway and I went out excited and terrified and they pull this car seat out of the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen.  I could not believe my eyes.  I took her in my arms and I knew at that second that blood didn't matter and that she WAS MINE.  All my fears were put to rest.  I honestly could not believe that God blessed me so much.  I still don't understand it.  She is an incredible little person.

I so wish I could say that adoption wasn't the final option for us but it was but the second time it was our first choice.  We understood more.  We decided that we would not pursue any other treatments (even though we were told that 3 cycles of IVF would give us great chances of a bio baby) The first time I saw my son I was melted by his beautiful face and his sweet spirit and eagerness to have me as mommy. We have had so many beautiful moments and touching moments together and its only been 4 months!  I know its fast but he IS MY SON.  I am SOOOOO blessed to have my kids.

The first time I met my other two I was taken aback by how much they look like their sister.  They felt like they were a part of me because of that.  They are so so sweet and I can't wait to have a homecoming story for them.

PS we started Dave Ramsey and we paid off all of our medical debt!  ;)

What a great story! 

Now, the question remains- will you adopt more or are the new additions finalizing your family??


Claire

Moderator: Healthy Weight Loss & Adoptive Moms

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Join theAdoptive Moms group

mcginnisc
by Claire on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:44 AM



Quoting shay0810:

Ok... We decided to foster when I was pg with dd1. At that point in time, we were not thinking adoption, just helping kids that were in a rough spot. After dd2 was born, we found out that I could not have any more babies. I always wanted a big family, so we started entertaining the idea of adoption. We told the agency that we were open to getting adoption referrals, but for the next few years, nothing came of it. Finally, they called us and said they had a baby boy that was legal risk. For a couple reasons, he was hard to find an adoptive placement for. I said "yes" without even calling dh.. Lol. It was that evening before we got to go pick him up. The caseworker was holding him, and I remember thinking that he was the chubbiest baby! Lol... Now he is 2/1/2, and I can't imagine life without him!


It cracks me up that you didn't even tell your husband when you got the call! LOL 

Claire

Moderator: Healthy Weight Loss & Adoptive Moms

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Join theAdoptive Moms group

aprilz1225
by Silver Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 8:54 AM
1 mom liked this

 we adopted becasue of several preg losses. I was nervous about adopting normal adoption feelings.. will the baby bond with me will i have the same maturnal instinks i would with a bio child.  I was able help deliver our son, i didn't know either to cry or laugh so i did both.  I have three amazing days in my life... Two i share with my hubby ( our wedding day and the day our son was born) and the amazing day i helped my son come into this world and became a mom.

mcginnisc
by Claire on Jan. 25, 2013 at 9:03 AM
2 moms liked this

I knew at a young age that I would adopt one day. My best friend growing up was from Taiwan and her family gave me a great respect for China and the culture. 

When I went on my first date with Heath, we both spoke about adoption and how we both felt the calling to adopt from China. Heath has several adopted members of his family ( his mother was adopted by his GF, Lee Majors is a distant cousin and he is adopted, and many other cousins as well). 

We got married at 20 and ttc for many years as we did not meet the age requirements set forth by China, which at the time was 35. After 7 years, we finally got pregnant on Clomid. Kahlan was stillborn at 36 weeks. After a very long healing process, I was finally ready to contemplate being a mother again. I surprised Heath with a huge packet of information from agencies. 

I threw myself into the process. I finished the dossier in 6 months, right before Heath's 30th birthday as they had lowered the age requirement shortly after we lost Kahlan. Our dossier was sent 3 days after his birthday and logged into the Chinese governmental agency on 10/10/05. It was another 17 months before we got the call... I had quit my job as a Chef and was working exclusively at Petsmart as a supervisor. I was working the truck that day and we were not allowed to have our phones on the floor, but I had already told my boss that I expected the call that week and I would have my phone on me. My phone rang and I dropped everything to find my mom on the other end telling me that she had found out people were getting calls in the US.. <---thanks for the heart attack mom! LOL 

I hung up shaking and went about my day... 2 hours later, I was just starting to help a couple in the fish department when my phone rang again.  I apologized and told them it was an important call and I had to take it. I answered the phone and my hands starting shaking. The Director of the China program at our agency was on the other end and said " Claire, you have a daughter!!"  I immediately burst into tears. Well, since everyone in the store knew what was going on, they all stopped what they were doing. My boss came out of the office, cashiers stopped, groomers came out of their department...everyone was excited for us and wanted to know the details. I finally managed to get my friend to help me write the info down as I was shaking so much. I hung up, and ran out the door to come home and tell Heath. I got home 5 minutes later and he wasn't home! I called him and said " you have a daughter..come home"...lol... he was up the street at our Church having lunch with some friends. He got home about 5 minutes later and could not believe that I got called at work. We went into his office upstairs and called our families. 

The following day, we went to the agency and signed the acceptance letter and saw Lilly's picture for the first time. Both of us knew she was ours as soon as we saw her picture. It was another 8 weeks before we left for China. We met Lilly in a crowded office building on 4/3/07. She was a tiny little girl that was so stoic. I bawled when I met her. She went straight to Heath and fell asleep..it was like she knew she was home..

It's hard to believe we are coming up on 6 years home in April.. 

Claire

Moderator: Healthy Weight Loss & Adoptive Moms

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phillipians 4:13

Join theAdoptive Moms group

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