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Today should have been a most precious day....

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    We were supposed to adopt in June.  Today we were going to go to the sonogram to find out if this was going to be a girl or boy.  We received a phone call last night the mom changed her mind.  Our hearts are broken and completely shattered.  Today is filled with heartache, pain and much tears.  I attended all the doctor's appointments have the little sono of the baby and it hurts soo much.  Of course we knew going into adoption there are risk, but you can never prepare yourself or your heart for the pain.  I have just been through so much, my dad passed away in July 2012, my mom has had 2 strokes and is not doing well hospice is now called in.  We were so hopeful and joyful that this little angel was coming at the perfect time, but now this has all changed. I try to think of all the positives in my life and my greatest blessing my son.  This is just a hard emotional time.  I only wish I would have been told sooner.  I wish I could just stop crying.... 

by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 7:13 AM
Replies (11-14):
by Bronze Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 10:23 PM

 (((Kelly))) I'm so sorry!

by Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 7:02 AM

 Thank you to everyone for your responses.  I am so thankful for this group and others on Cafemom.  Going into adoption you have to be willing to take risk and each and everytime we have.  I am in no way angry at the mom, if anything I am extremely hurt.  We have been friends for over 7 years and we have such a special bond.  That special bond consist of respect, being open and I thought honest with each other.  I think what hurt so much is her texting and re-assuring me to have faith this was all going to happen.  She never ever mentioned having second thoughts and that is something I feel she should have most defintiely shared with me. She had her friend call and tell me.  As an adoptive mom I would never want her to make a choice she felt in her heart was not right for her.  I would never want her to feel pain or hurt.  I care a lot about her.  I believe God places us right where we belong.  For some reason as hard as this is for me this was meant to be.  I have a strong faith in God.  I am blessed with my son and when I look into his eyes I find my strength.  Being a mommy is the greatest blessing and I could not ever imagine my life without a child.  I am just taking this one day at a time.  Tears still fall and I am sure only time will heal all the pain I feel inside.  Thanks to groups like this it helps us get through these emotional hug 

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 7:29 AM
I'm so sorry for everything that you're getting through right now, Kelly. Sending (((hugs))) your way.
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by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 8:29 AM
I'm in the middle if my home study and this is one if my fears as we enter the adoption process. I find myself hoping to get an immediate placement for fear of getting my hopes up during a 9 month pregnancy. Does that make me a bad person? I can imagine how you are feeling because I feel like I give myself anxiety fearing the same feeling if that makes sense :-/ hope and pray for your next match to be smooth sailing
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