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I need help help, and honest opinions on my thoughts of considering adopting out my mth old!!

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I am 26 yrs old! I need serious advice on what to do!!! I have a month old baby girl. I have 2 others who are 5 and 2 also. This last one came sooner than i had planned for! I am very worried i cant provide a good life for her! She has been unhappy since she came home from the hospital! I am struggling to find a part time job at least. I am in the process of trying to obtain my GED. And trying to juggle time between my 2 girls and the new baby! My emotions are crazy and feeling like i cant give my baby a good life!! Its taking alot out of me! I feel she could be in a home with loving people who can devote there time and life to her, who will always have that time to love her (i love her to death! dont get me wrong!) and can financially support her needs!! I just feel in my heart that she deserves to be with better people than me!! Who can do more for her!! I live where i have no family, and have very few friends. So i dont have help as it is. If adoption is the route i go, it would definitely be open adoption, because i do want to see her grow up no matter what!! My mind is scrambled and need help!!!

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:17 PM
Replies (31-36):
by on May. 16, 2013 at 1:27 AM
1 mom liked this
If you love her to death like you say & CAN provide for her I think you need to just get through this hurtle because I think you will regret this. I think she will grow up with many issues knowing you gave her up because she was too much. You not 16 & you have two other kids that seem to be good enough to keep so she will see that & be very hurt by that when she grows up. Also you don't really know if she will be in a loving home... All families seem loving & perfect on the outside but are like a dark forest behind closed doors. It's not a puppy you can just give away because it gets hard- this is a child God blessed you with. So many women beg God for children but can't have any & to think you have this precious angel but actually want to give her up breaks my heart. I understand motherhood is hard. I am a 27 year old mother... But giving them up to God knows who is just not the best answer I'm my opinion.
by on May. 16, 2013 at 1:57 PM

Most moms have encouraged her to slow down and have given options to encourage her keeping the baby. NO one has offered to take the baby or try to adopt the baby. No one said they want to take her daughter. We are not baby stealers here. She came to us, we did not go to her. Most of us have encouraged her to parent.

Quoting swansong58:

Your hormones are crazy right now!!!   Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.   You need some help and help does not look like these women wanting to take your daughter.  Help would be if each one of the people posting tell you they will send you diapers, or formula, or give you some hook ups for a job, help you start a campaign for you to keep your child.   There ARE good maternity homes where you can go WITH YOUR OTHER CHILDREN and stay up to TWO YEARS.   They will help you learn get your GED, you will learn skills and have a community to help you keep your family intact.    I will message you information about one I know which is great.    The only thing your daughter needs is YOU!   


by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 8:15 PM
Soliciting for adoption is against the CafeMom terms of service.

Quoting JBucher:

Ar you still looking for a family for your 1 month old baby girl my name is Jessica I would like to talk to you more about it.

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this

I tried, and my post was removed as it's considered soliticiting for adoption and is 'against the rules' here. Ridiculous if you ask me since she came for help with such.

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 9:25 AM

Jessica - she hasn't been on in over 2 months so I'd guess she's figured out a way to parent or found another solution that's best for her and her family.

by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 12:08 AM
Are you sure you don't have a case of post partum depression? As a woman who wants to adopt desperately I want to say "Pick me"! But as a mother, I want to advise you to think through this carefully. I respect what you are saying and it does not make you a bad mom for wanting what is best for your baby. I know being a single mom is so hard, I was one. I am sorry you don't have a good support system it would make things so much easier on you.
If you do decide to go with adoption you can do a open adoption and stay in contact with the adoptive family and your baby. I wish you the best of luck and I am truly sorry for your situation. If you need more help let me know. Maybe there are resources out there that you are not aware of.
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