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Abortion over Adoption

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 1:59 PM
  • 9 Replies
2 moms liked this

Am I the only one who gets a pissed off when people come on this site and say things about how they know someone who had a botched adoption so they aborted...or they mix up foster adoptions with infant adoptions.  Many people come on here and point to the foster system and say they aborted because they didn't want their baby to end up THERE.  OR they say..."there are so many older children in orphanages and in the system that should be adopted first..."  There are no "orphanages" in the United States.  Children available for adoption in the foster system usually need a high level of care that many adoptive families are not able to provide.  Additionally, many children in the foster system need to be adopted in their local areas... to keep their lives stable...to retain their current school etc.  It's not like you just show up at your local social services office and pick up a kid.  People are so dense!

If you want to abort, fine then do it.  That is your choice.  But don't use false information about adoption to justify killing your baby.  

Annual US Statistics

  • Only 20,000 US domestic infant adoptions.
  • 800,000 children in foster care.  90% will reunite with family. 
  • 1.2 million abortions.
  • 7 million infertile couples.

Adoption is usually a beautiful choice for all parties involved. 

by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 1:59 PM
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Replies (1-9):
lilsweetpea708
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Adoption can be a beautiful choice but it's not for everyone and its no ones right to judge someone for their reasoning to place, parent or abort.
bekalynne440
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 2:37 PM
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There is still a lot of misunderstanding about adoption.  Even DH and I didn't realize until a year and a half ago that there are no longer orphanages in the US.  Many also don't understand the difference between infant adoption and foster care adoption, and that creates many misconceptions.

I can't stand the saying "I would just abort because I'm just couldn't put my baby up for adoption."  I believe a fetus is a baby.  It doesn't become one, it is one all along.  So when I hear that sentence I hear "I would rather kill my baby than deal with the pain of someone else being their mom."

Mom2Kyle03
by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 12:05 PM

agree 100%

Hopefulforbaby
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 12:43 PM
3 moms liked this
How someone could say "I would rather kill my baby than give them up for adoption" boggles my mind! Why would you not want to see your baby in a loving home with all the things they deserve? My husband and I are wanting to adopt just like thousands of other couples. It's not like you don't have thousands of options for your baby.
Open adoptions are so standard now it is easy to stay in contact with the adoptive family and the baby. As far as foster care ... You may be approved to have foster kids but that doesn't mean you get to keep them. You can have a child for years and have them taken away. I have put my time in with 6 teen moms and helped them keep their babies, now I would like to have my own baby I can keep.
I have been called a" baby stalker" , " volture" and told I am "preying" on desperate girls ... Really? People who want to adopt are none of these things they are people who want children to love. Wouldn't the real monsters be the people who say NO to adoption and YES to abortion?
2Gs
by on Jun. 26, 2013 at 2:46 PM

Love your post.  I assume you're home-study approved or in the process?  If you need any support of someone to talk to please feel free to PM me.  We had a picture perfect adoption experience that went quickly and a very positive, healthy post-adoption relationship with our daughter's birthfamily.  

The real voice of US domestic infant adoption needs to come from American adult adoptees in modern open-adoption situations.   Unfortunatly there just aren't that many yet.  Our nanny just turned 18 and is from an open adoption and she has had a very positive and beautiful experience.  I also wish more birthmothers would speak up about the positive side of adoption but the majority who come online are those that are unhappy.  The ones who are happy - the majority - have moved on with life and aren't posting about their placements.  

Quoting Hopefulforbaby:

How someone could say "I would rather kill my baby than give them up for adoption" boggles my mind! Why would you not want to see your baby in a loving home with all the things they deserve? My husband and I are wanting to adopt just like thousands of other couples. It's not like you don't have thousands of options for your baby.
Open adoptions are so standard now it is easy to stay in contact with the adoptive family and the baby. As far as foster care ... You may be approved to have foster kids but that doesn't mean you get to keep them. You can have a child for years and have them taken away. I have put my time in with 6 teen moms and helped them keep their babies, now I would like to have my own baby I can keep.
I have been called a" baby stalker" , " volture" and told I am "preying" on desperate girls ... Really? People who want to adopt are none of these things they are people who want children to love. Wouldn't the real monsters be the people who say NO to adoption and YES to abortion?


harmony7
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 7:41 AM
1 mom liked this
I didnt read any judgement over someones "choice"...I read confusion and anger over people who would come to an adoption board or speak to a waiting parent and make such insensitive statements and then try to defend those statements. My judgement on that is it is mean and rude and at minimum insensitive.
Quoting lilsweetpea708:

Adoption can be a beautiful choice but it's not for everyone and its no ones right to judge someone for their reasoning to place, parent or abort.
Pam in Alabama
A Mom to nine sons and one daughter with five still at home
2Gs
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 9:25 AM

...and often inaccurate. That is what get's me maddest.  Some people come on here and spew false information about adoption and basically talk women into abortions.  They encourage them to not even CONSIDER adoption.  As far as I'm concerned people who do that are an accomplice to a murder and WILL be judged eventually by someone far greater than me.  

There are thousands of woman who have aborted who didn't give any thought to adoption at all.  I'm not saying it's for everyone but more would choose it if they understood the process and saw more real life, non-foster care domestic infant adoption situations.

I am so tired of people tossing out the word "judgment" as a a debate tactic.  We all have to make decisions of morality every single day.  

Quoting harmony7:

I didnt read any judgement over someones "choice"...I read confusion and anger over people who would come to an adoption board or speak to a waiting parent and make such insensitive statements and then try to defend those statements. My judgement on that is it is mean and rude and at minimum insensitive.
Quoting lilsweetpea708:

Adoption can be a beautiful choice but it's not for everyone and its no ones right to judge someone for their reasoning to place, parent or abort.


harmony7
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 10:07 AM

Quoting 2Gs:

...and often inaccurate. That is what get's me maddest.  Some people come on here and spew false information about adoption and basically talk women into abortions.  They encourage them to not even CONSIDER adoption.  As far as I'm concerned people who do that are an accomplice to a murder and WILL be judged eventually by someone far greater than me.  

There are thousands of woman who have aborted who didn't give any thought to adoption at all.  I'm not saying it's for everyone but more would choose it if they understood the process and saw more real life, non-foster care domestic infant adoption situations.

I am so tired of people tossing out the word "judgment" as a a debate tactic.  We all have to make decisions of morality every single day.  

Quoting harmony7:

I didnt read any judgement over someones "choice"...I read confusion and anger over people who would come to an adoption board or speak to a waiting parent and make such insensitive statements and then try to defend those statements. My judgement on that is it is mean and rude and at minimum insensitive.
Quoting lilsweetpea708:

Adoption can be a beautiful choice but it's not for everyone and its no ones right to judge someone for their reasoning to place, parent or abort.

 

 Very Well Said!...why is it judgment if I disagree but your "right" if you disagree with me? That is what drives me nuts with the "judgement" word....a very nice shield used to shut down debate or Others rights....In My Opinion

Adoption has touched my life since a young child with four precious adopted cousins from infant adoptions and now having three adopted children of my own from foster care...

I work everyday with the ignorance and stigma of adoption in defense of my children. You would think if as a nation and a people we are so informed in so many ways about prejudice and rights and concerns that no one judge.. that the same would be offered to children and those seeking to adopt.

Pam in Alabama
A Mom to nine sons and one daughter with five still at home
2Gs
by on Jun. 27, 2013 at 10:18 AM

YES - The word "judgement" is used as a shield.  You articulated that very well.

I also feel obligated to be an ambadassor for adoption given the blessing we've been given in our daughter.  I'm passionate about it and for me to allow people to post lies on a forum where real people are making real choices that will have generational and eternal consequences is a big deal to me.  I feel obligated to at least show them our side of the story.

I still do consider myself pro choice.  But 1.2 million abortions vs. 20,000 adoptions is just ridiculous. 


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