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Negative Family Aditudes??

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:38 AM
  • 9 Replies
I am really getting upset about hearing this nonsense like "We will be excited when she gets here." No baby shower, no one wants to go baby shopping ... How would they feel if I Said "Well, I will be excited about you getting married IF your Fiancée actually shows up to the wedding" How do you deal with this kind of insensitive behavior? It is hurtful.
by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 11:38 AM
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Replies (1-9):
CurlersNHeels
by on Mar. 16, 2015 at 6:22 PM
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I would have to walk away.   That's all I could do. That's what I've done.     We are adopting soon (in fact our BM is in pre-labor now, due in 12 days).   My family knows about it,    not ONE has mentioned a baby shower, not one has asked how it's going, nothing.    So I feel you on this one.     I've just done all of my own preparations and stored their attitudes in the back of my mind.    I'll be damned if I'm going to let them steal my joy.    Just because they don't want to share my joy, don't mean they get to steal it.    Chin up Mommy.   It's not about them anyway. 

awalter01
by on Mar. 17, 2015 at 2:36 AM
Some people don't know what to do either. They've not been in a situation of adoption. Many times what can come across as insensitive is actual just the unknown or being unsure. It's ok to direct people on how you might like a baby shower before the baby instead of after. Or how you are going to teach your children in adoption etc etc. Not saying some aren't insensitive, but more often people need direction to the unknown.
RocknRoll.Rose
by on Mar. 17, 2015 at 2:45 AM
I'm sorry that your family members are being assholes. I hope they come around. Just be happy and don't let them ruin your enthusiasm.
Mom2Kyle03
by on Mar. 17, 2015 at 1:33 PM

Personally, I bought the bare necessities that I needed to bring him home and had a baby shower a month after he was home and go the big things I would need later. I, myself didn't want a house full of things in case it fell through. I wouldn't be offended if people thought the way they are thinking but I would ask them NOT to talk about it around me. 

Mom2Kyle03
by on Mar. 17, 2015 at 1:35 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh yeah, and my mom wouldn't even acknowledge anything until he was PYSICALLY here in my home-it's just how some people deal with adoption. 

Hopefulforbaby
by on Mar. 17, 2015 at 1:58 PM
Thank you ladies. You are right in what you are saying. I shouldn't let their negativity get to me, it just gets wearing after a while. I guess I am just thrown back that these attitudes still exist about Adoption. I love my baby and my children have been so awesome through this whole thing. I guess I just need to shake it off!!
Hopefulforbaby
by on Mar. 17, 2015 at 2:02 PM
Quoting CurlersNHeels:

I would have to walk away.   That's all I could do. That's what I've done.     We are adopting soon (in fact our BM is in pre-labor now, due in 12 days).   My family knows about it,    not ONE has mentioned a baby shower, not one has asked how it's going, nothing.    So I feel you on this one.     I've just done all of my own preparations and stored their attitudes in the back of my mind.    I'll be damned if I'm going to let them steal my joy.    Just because they don't want to share my joy, don't mean they get to steal it.    Chin up Mommy.   It's not about them anyway. 


Congratulations!! I hope D-day goes smoothly. Thank you for the encouragement :)
jjchick75
by Member on Mar. 21, 2015 at 8:10 PM
My family was great the first time we adopted. They were the ones wanting to shop and throw me a shower and I was more reluctant. This time is an entirely different situation and I've noticed they haven't been as excited. Honestly though I'm okay with that. We want this little guy, I dream of him often, we have picked out a name but I understand he isn't mine until he is in our arms and the papers are signed. But my family has been supportive. I'm sorry your not getting that from your family.
Pastalove
by on Mar. 25, 2015 at 10:01 PM
1 mom liked this

My family is the same way, but so am I.  I wouldn't take it so hard.  My family's main concern is me and my DH, they don't want us to get hurt.  I know they'll be excited if we match but I know they'll be just like your family, hesitant to celebrate.  It doesn't mean they're not happy, they're scared.  

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