What do you do when you really don't like sex?

[Anonymous]

I really do not like sex. Never has. It's always been more of a burden than an enjoyable experience. My DH's sex drive has not decreased at all in the 16 years we've been together but mine sure has. It went from being a low sex drive to no sex drive and now to a "please, don't even try to touch me" sex drive.

I've tried to "have sex even when you don't want it" routine and that just led to me resenting him and caused a lot of problems.

No insurance so the doctor is out. I have an iud, the one without the hormones because the hormones in bc pills just made me mean and dropped my already non-existant sex drive even farther down the tubes.

Sleep would be great but the 9 month old baby has been keeping me up half the night. And even when I was getting good sleep, I still hated sex.

Counselors, therapists, doctors, etc all cost money we don't have right now.

I'm so tired of disappointing him but I really hate sex.

[kkiphen]

Love i know it is driving your dh crazy but you also don't need to do something that will make you angry with him over or dislike him for. Doing just because he wants it will make you hate him eventually. You do need help but none i think we can help you with. I hope it gets better love and we are here to talk if that is what you need.

[4kidsmommy]

Sometimes postpartum too can effect the sexual part. Your baby is only 9 months old. I too have been there. I did go to the doc and get meds for a couple of months, but at the same time I stopped taking them because I knew it was just something in my head. Overtired, taking care of 4 kids under the age of six. I don't know if you have more children. But I would defintely think that maybe you still have the baby blues. And trust me back then I didn't want DH to come near me with his package. The thought of him and sex made me want to vomit. All lead towards baby blues. Good luck!!!!!

[MrsBerube]

They make this pill called extenze for men and women its supposed to boost your sex drive they sell it right at walmart and probably at pharmacys

[jellybeanjean]

Quoting Karla1948:

Eleanor Roosevelt did say, "women must learn to endure sex". 

LOL

There's a gem

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's him.

[suebee3]

Sorry!! I hope you find your orgasm soon.  

[thecoffeefairy]

Have you had other partners? Have you successfully masturbated? Have you read erotic literature? For women, the key to mind blowing sex IS the mindset. You have to be there mentally before you can physically get there. If you have the I hate it, this suck attitude you just won't get into it. Do anything that makes you feel sexy. It does not matter what it is. Get your nails done, buy a new dress, have hubby cook for you. Trust me, a willing sex partner is worth any extra work worth it.

[Bee86lpn]

Do you masturbate? Do you enjoy clitoral stimulation?

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Quoting Bee86lpn:

Do you masturbate? Do you enjoy clitoral stimulation?

no and no

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Quoting thecoffeefairy:

Have you had other partners? Have you successfully masturbated? Have you read erotic literature? For women, the key to mind blowing sex IS the mindset. You have to be there mentally before you can physically get there. If you have the I hate it, this suck attitude you just won't get into it. Do anything that makes you feel sexy. It does not matter what it is. Get your nails done, buy a new dress, have hubby cook for you. Trust me, a willing sex partner is worth any extra work worth it.

other partners, yes. 3 (if you include my DH). I have tried masterbation and don't like it, same feelings as sex only with just myself. erotica, yes, also to no avail. I honestly think my mind just isn't wired for sex. I cannot fantasize, watch, read about it without feeling ill. I do not feel sexy, never have. Again, I don't think I'm wired that way. Instead of feeling sexy, I feel gross.