i feel so hurt ~ update~

[Anonymous]

I have expressed to my husband that I don't like him looking at porn, to me it feels like he's cheating on me, yet he keeps looking at it, I know most people are going to say that men are visual, it's normal, get over it or leave, but just because it's normal and men are visual doesn't give him the right to look at it, if something I do makes him uncomfortable or he doesn't want me to do something I won't do it out of respect for him, is it really too much to ask the same of him?





Update~
Ok so we started the new year with a no lies or secrets agreement. I have asked him to not masturbate to porn and that if he really wants to look at it to include me in it.... Before we made this agreement I decided to look at it while he was at work. I looked at the stuff I wanted to try with him, then when he got home I showed him what I wanted to try. I felt like I was cheating on him while I looked at it alone so I didn't look long... Well after watching a few clips of what I wanted to do to him we had pro ably the best, most satisfying sex since we first started dating! Now when he is in the mood to try something a little different he says let me show you what I'd like to try.... We get the kids to bed watch a few clips and try it... I feel much better about the whole situation now that he is no longer hiding it from me. He no longer deletes his history on his phone and we are much happier and sexually satisfied!

[Matriarch87]

I don't like shoes. If I told my husband it bothered me for him to wear them should he obey?

[MochaBerry24]

I think women expecting men not to look at porn are going to end up dissapointed and frusterated. A lot of men look at porn, whether they admit it or not. To me, porn only becomes a problem if he is looking at it too much or if he is choosing to look at porn rather than be with you.

[Monsita]

I do understand your pain...

it is not so much about WHAT HE DOES....and when or how?? it is about him NOT ASEPTING THAT what he is doing is hurting you!

I know, that you will feel better if at least he respects you enough TO KEEP IT UNDER CONTROL!!

[honeybun63]

 Try asking him to tell u when he wants to look at it so that you can too!

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's too much to ask him to respect your feelings at all.
I went through this with my husband. He has finally admitted/come to terms with the fact he has an addiction.
He can't watch it anymore, and frankly I'm glad. I tried compromising with him, etc ... But for some men ... They don't need compromise, they need to stop.

It you can't handle this journey, it will be long, pack your bags honey. He won't stop till he hits bottom and loses everything.

[Anonymous]

That's beyond a ridiculous comparison.

Quoting Matriarch87:

I don't like shoes. If I told my husband it bothered me for him to wear them should he obey?

[little.wise.owl]

Well, I think.porn is disgusting. Anyone who look at it are pathetic and do.indeed have a problem. My dh and.I have bedn there and he chose.to.stop.looking. I hope.it.gets better. Dont let these women.make.you.feel.like.you should be ok with it when you are not. good luck

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I've done this before, it only gets worse if I look at it with him it doesn't stop him from looking on his own it just adds to the amount of time he spends looking at it

Quoting honeybun63:

 Try asking him to tell u when he wants to look at it so that you can too!

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I don't think your husband wearing shoes or not compares to a feeling of being cheated, and I'm sure if you were that strongly opposed to shoes you would make it clear from the beginning of the relationship, I made it clear about how I felt about porn on our 1st date and he said he didn't like to watch porn, I found out about his porn watching when I got pregnant with our first child, and its been a struggle ever since

Quoting Anonymous:

That's beyond a ridiculous comparison.

Quoting Matriarch87:

I don't like shoes. If I told my husband it bothered me for him to wear them should he obey?

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

I won't leave him because of it, we have 2 children and another in the way, before we used to fight (very loudly) about it, but it seems like if I make a huge deal about it then he just lies more, if I'm calm then it's not a huge argument and I can hopefully make him see how much it hurts me

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think it's too much to ask him to respect your feelings at all.

I went through this with my husband. He has finally admitted/come to terms with the fact he has an addiction.

He can't watch it anymore, and frankly I'm glad. I tried compromising with him, etc ... But for some men ... They don't need compromise, they need to stop.



It you can't handle this journey, it will be long, pack your bags honey. He won't stop till he hits bottom and loses everything.