Need advice!! Update!!!

[Anonymous]

I am currently separated from my husband and we are unsure as if we are going to work things out or not. This separation just happened within the past 2 weeks and it was mutual due to our arguing over things. I am living with my step sister in her apartment right now bc I thought it would be the logical thing to do since I do not know how long we will be separated and so forth. My question is a mutual friend of my husband and I texted me today and asked me out to lunch this weekend. We have flirted before my husband and I were a couple but never more than that so we both think each other is attractive. We normally go out to eat once or twice a month but with my husband of course. I will openly admit he is very attractive and I have had thoughts about him as more than a friend in the past. Should I go to lunch with him or tell him it's not a good time right now? If I do go and we flirt and things lead to more should I act on it?

Update- I texted him back today and told him thanks for the offer but it really isn't a good time for me right now. He said he completely understood and said after things are better between my husband and I we could all get together.

[Qkala]

If you really want to save your marriage then I don't think you should go. If you don't care to save your marriage and know it is heading for divorce then go and have fun! If you decide to go, go all the way. Why not? Just as long as you realize your husband WILL find out if you have sex with this mutual friend and, depending on what kind of man your husband is, will likely ruin any chance of him wanting you back. The question you need to ask yourself is not "should I go to lunch with this guy?" The question you need to ask yourself is "do I want to save my marriage?".

[TheLadyAmalthea]

Personally, I would say it isn't a good time right now. If you are not sure if you are going to work things out, do not make it worse by getting with another man right now, even if it's just flirting. If there was even a possibility of working it out with my husband if we were seperated, I wouldn't do anything that would jeopardize it.

[C.Fleury]

Personally, if you don't want the marriage to work, then go out and have fun. However if you want to work on your marriage obviously don't go to lunch with this guy. Once you figure out whether or not you want to save your marriage is when you find your answer to going on a lunch date with the other guy. Either one you choose, balls to wall. Go out with a bang :)

[singlemom1208]

I don't think it would be a good idea

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

Thank you all soooo much!!! I really want my husband and I to work things out! I didn't know if me telling him it's not a good time or something along those lines would sound like I'm just blowing him off and wouldn't want him to think that I'm being rude or anything.

[la_bella_vita]

 Doesn't sound like a good idea.

Good luck to you momma

[Anonymous]

Just be honest with the friend, let him know you are Hoping to work things out with your husband and its not a good idea for you two to have lunch alone.

Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you all soooo much!!! I really want my husband and I to work things out! I didn't know if me telling him it's not a good time or something along those lines would sound like I'm just blowing him off and wouldn't want him to think that I'm being rude or anything.

[la_bella_vita]

 What did you decide to do?

[Anonymous]

If you go to lunch with him, and you do not work things out with your husband, you will never know if the marriage just wasn't meant to be worked out, or if being around the other guy swayed how much you actually put into working things out.

[stirNitUp]

I think you can go if your up to it, it might take your mind off of stress but I don't think you should act on anything that would lead to more than just lunch friends. The fact that your husband knows this person will make your divorce or marriage worst. It might seems like a good idea because your hurting but it will make it out to be its only your fault your marriage failed because you always had something for someone yall went out with. Not a good feeling especially if it isn't that way...my advice would be its not the best time and he shouldn't be the next candidate for you either. Not saying it couldn't never happen but not no time soon