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Help With Re-Igniting Sex Life???

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:44 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hello all!

To give some background, my husband and I have been together for 12 years and married for 8. He is 40 and I am 32, We have only one child, who is 8, so we are well beyond that "dead tired" phase that comes along with very young children.

For the past 3 - 4 years, our sex life has been pretty non-existent. I would say we have sex maybe every 2  - 4 months. Now to be fair, hubby works third shift, so we barely ever are in the bed together!  But with that being said, I KNOW we can find the time to make love if we made an effort, such as after our daughter gets on the bus on the days I have off and the days I don't go into work until afternoon. We also are usually both home together on Friday and Saturday nights (though this can be a bit hard since I have to work early on both Saturday and Sunday mornings).

Honestly, I think a lot of it has to do with just plain laziness on both our parts. This sex-drought has gone on for so long it's almost like we've just accepted it and deal with it. The sad part is, I know we both have sex drives (I take care of my own 'business' about twice a week and I know my husband looks at porn from time to time, which I have no problem with).

I also know he's interested because he'll make little comments now and again and recently, I lost about 30 pounds. Since I lost the weight he compliments me A LOT more than he used to and likes to do little things like grab my butt when we pass each other in the kitchen. I just don't know if he's interested ENOUGH though, because he NEVER is the  one to initiate sex when we do have it. When I suggest it, he is always up for it - pun intended - but I ALWAYS have to initiate it.

So I guess my question is twofold, how can I get him to initiate sex more and how in general can I get our sex life back on track? Neither one of us are prudes and we tell each other everything, and when we were first dating we were pretty wild in the bedroom.

I was thinking it would be a lot of fun if we took a trip togeher to AdultMart or something to buy some kinky stuff, or I would love it if maybe he would plan a night where we had a sitter and had a romantic night all to ourselves. I know he would do these things if I asked him, but it would also be nice if he came up with and executed some of his own ideas.

 Also, we just got my husband a smartphone, so he is FINALLY starting to text, lol. Some of the posts on this group gave me the idea it may be fun to try and send him some "sexts", but I can't seem to think of anything to send him that would get my naughty idea across without seeming like it came out of left field, ya know?

Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I think we're too young to have the sex lif of 80 year olds! (Actually, some 80 year olds probably get it on more than we do!)

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:44 PM
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Replies (1-7):
Donna-May
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 3:37 PM

One was is to set the mood.  When you are both going to be home and alone you can start.  Cook something he likes or even take out.  You get someting sexy to wear.  Not over the top, but something cute.  Candles and wine etc.  If you have to make the first move then do it.  Gotta start somewhere.  Just so you know, I am married and have good sex, but I to take care of myself a few times a week.

Once you get going a bit, talk to him about it and let him know you would like more time with him.  I know third shift is a bitch for sure.

mommyspalace
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this
"Baby I was just thinking of the last time u kissed me from my lips to my ..... Lips. I'd love to have u do that when u get home, I promise to return the favor, that is if u get a good grade on my report ;-)"
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
First of all congrats on the new you!!! And yay the baby/los are over.!!!!
Sexting, ahh technology...this is what I do, I throw on a corset, stocking etc...snap a few pics and say something like...hey babe, was thinking of you, wanting to feast on your beautiful cock while playing with my wet pu$$y...I cum up between your legs, mount you..I cum instantly..can you sneak away???
eclaudin
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:40 PM
Thanks for the congrats and the testing ideas! Love them!


Quoting Anonymous:

First of all congrats on the new you!!! And yay the baby/los are over.!!!!

Sexting, ahh technology...this is what I do, I throw on a corset, stocking etc...snap a few pics and say something like...hey babe, was thinking of you, wanting to feast on your beautiful cock while playing with my wet pu$$y...I cum up between your legs, mount you..I cum instantly..can you sneak away???

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
nsparky1964
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:46 PM
I'm 48 yo, and every relationship I've been in if I wanted sex I let it be known...dh tries to bust my balls about it ..all the time, I just tell him it could be worse....
It is extremely frustrating always having to say hey babe plz do ...


Quoting eclaudin:

Thanks for the congrats and the testing ideas! Love them!




Quoting Anonymous:

First of all congrats on the new you!!! And yay the baby/los are over.!!!!


Sexting, ahh technology...this is what I do, I throw on a corset, stocking etc...snap a few pics and say something like...hey babe, was thinking of you, wanting to feast on your beautiful cock while playing with my wet pu$$y...I cum up between your legs, mount you..I cum instantly..can you sneak away???


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mommyspalace
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 8:47 PM
Sorry hon I'm a teacher lol


Quoting mommyspalace:

"Baby I was just thinking of the last time u kissed me from my lips to my ..... Lips. I'd love to have u do that when u get home, I promise to return the favor, that is if u get a good grade on my report ;-)"

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
PartyGalAnne
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:37 PM

I think before you start to get wild, you both need to make a verbal committment to working on your sex life. Have a chat, express what you think what would be an acceptable amount of times to have sex during the week, talk about logistics etc (kids at school, days you start late, etc).

Then, say NOTHING.

Just act. Don't say "Honey it's Tuesday at 3, remember?" Just grab him by the hand and drag him to the bed. Or kiss him passionately while undoing his pants....

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