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i know this is NOT normal and that i need help. NO rude comments please. ***UPDATE

Posted by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:34 AM
  • 61 Replies
1 mom liked this

I get so jealous when my husband watches porn, only because he watches it after i ask him to have sex and he denys me or if i just had sex with him and he watches it or sneaks behind my back and watches it. it just really bugs me and i know that it is my insecurities getting to me. I am very insecure about my boobs and if i am pleasing him during sex. we use to have sex all the time and now he never wants it. I try spicing it up with role playing or toys or hot fantasy outfits. I honestly feel like i have lost my confidence after i found him watching porn on the couch trying to sneak it and after i asked him to have sex. to me it bothers me because i feel like im not good at pleasing my man and the way those girls please those guys, i feel like i have to match up to them and i know i shouldnt feel like that. I have no clue how to get over this. please no rude comments.


Hello all! Thank you so much for your responses....I am just getting so let down and i am tired of being rejected, last night for the first time he went to bed in the other room because he wanted to sleep alone, i know he wasnt watching porn because his phone was out in the livingroom and i had the laptop. so...im starting to think somethings wrong with me....and i asked him tonight if he wanted to have sex tonight and he said no and then i asked if he was going to sleep in the bed with me tonight and he also said no to that....i dont know whats wrong, i barely ever see him because of his job so i cherish the time we have together, everything was fine today we went to the movies and saw the movie Temptation it just came out today and it was amazing, it made me cry because its about a girl being emotionally neglected by her husband he barely notices her and it reminded me of me and him. The only difference was i wouldnt cheat on him, i am not going to lie i kind thought about wanting a man to treat me right, show me love&affection. Im not sure if im wrong to be having those thoughts, im not happy, i use to be so happy with him and now...nothing. he changed. im actually crying as i write this. i just want the old him back...

by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Liebevoll_mami
by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:44 AM
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i would be downright pissed off if my fiance did that to me. the only time he watches porn and gets off is when i deny him. but he ALWAYS tries first.i would talk to him. have it out. tell him how you feel and ask him what is going on. 

bellawomen
by Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:47 AM
I like porn just as much as the next person and don't get mad about it...except when it negatively affects your sex life. You have every right to be pissed.
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armywifey1019
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:16 AM
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you have no idea how happy i am to hear that someone agrees with me. i just get upset because why deny me and then go jerk off when you can have the real thing yaknow? it makes me feel bad about myself. and i get it if we havent had sex for a while or i deny him but i never deny him, im young i always wanna have sex he barely wants it anymore. i wasnt sure if i was exaterating things and just being overly jealous and insecure.

Quoting bellawomen:

I like porn just as much as the next person and don't get mad about it...except when it negatively affects your sex life. You have every right to be pissed.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:22 AM
2 moms liked this
I don't know about what's "normal" but I don't consider watching porn to be something everyone should be ok with. I used to not say anything if my husband watched it. But as time went on I started disliking it. Then one day he told me it felt wrong and asked me to help. Then sex was painful for me so this was a challenge. But he still didn't watch porn anymore. He still doesn't. I'm willig to give him photos or videos of me (as long as I don't have to see them lol) in place of porn.

I get how you feel and agree. The problem isn't how you feel. It's that he's not respecting it. I would be addressing that and THEN your insecurities about yourself. But not because of the porn. Because you are and should feel beautiful. Your self confidence will also impact your sex life greatly. Trust me. I know from experience.
armywifey1019
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:26 AM


you are such a sweetheart and made me feel 10x better!

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't know about what's "normal" but I don't consider watching porn to be something everyone should be ok with. I used to not say anything if my husband watched it. But as time went on I started disliking it. Then one day he told me it felt wrong and asked me to help. Then sex was painful for me so this was a challenge. But he still didn't watch porn anymore. He still doesn't. I'm willig to give him photos or videos of me (as long as I don't have to see them lol) in place of porn.

I get how you feel and agree. The problem isn't how you feel. It's that he's not respecting it. I would be addressing that and THEN your insecurities about yourself. But not because of the porn. Because you are and should feel beautiful. Your self confidence will also impact your sex life greatly. Trust me. I know from experience.



MysweetTristan
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:29 AM

I know exactly how you feel! I literally caught my now husband doing the same thing 2 weeks before our wedding. I was so hurt because I had recently complained that he denied me because he was "tired from increased hours at work". Then I found out it was because he was almost chronically watching porn and sitting on the couch pleasing himself. I found out because I got off work early and wanted to surprise him in a sexy way. It's up to every couple what they are comfortable with. My husband no longer watches it because we rarely have time for sex with our 3 year old, let alone porn. However, I do think you should be open with him about how you feel. That's not fair to deny you like that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:31 AM
1 mom liked this
I would be hurt too. I'm not anti porn but I feel it should be a once in awhile thing!! Sex with a wife should always be picked over porn
MysweetTristan
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:34 AM
1 mom liked this

"Anonymous

I don't know about what's "normal" but I don't consider watching porn to be something everyone should be ok with. I used to not say anything if my husband watched it. But as time went on I started disliking it. Then one day he told me it felt wrong and asked me to help. Then sex was painful for me so this was a challenge. But he still didn't watch porn anymore. He still doesn't. I'm willig to give him photos or videos of me (as long as I don't have to see them lol) in place of porn.

I get how you feel and agree. The problem isn't how you feel. It's that he's not respecting it. I would be addressing that and THEN your insecurities about yourself. But not because of the porn. Because you are and should feel beautiful. Your self confidence will also impact your sex life greatly. Trust me. I know from experience."

 

My sentiments exactly. Went through the same thing with my husband.He claimed to have quit but then I caught him again while I was 6 months pregnant. That was the breaking point for him. He was so crushed by the image of me sobbing in pain from his betrayl that he made it a goal to never hurt me like that again. He hasn't since.

PartyGalAnne
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 3:31 AM
3 moms liked this

Man up. You need to ask him flat out "Do you want to be with me?"

Refusing sex is not normal. Regardless of your insecurity.

He doesn't care about your boobs, and lets face it, if he cums, he was satisfied. It's not like he's asking you to put a bag over your head, so he does find you attractive.

elliotmommytobe
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 3:37 AM
You are not wrong at all. If it really bothers him you need to confront him straight up. Figure out whats wrong and see what you guys can do to work together to solve the problem. But in no way should you feel ashamed. You have every right to be pissed and upset
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