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Totally turned around..in a bad way

Posted by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 1:43 PM
  • 5 Replies

I'm in my 34th week of pregnancy and literally woke up with ZERO sex drive. I have been beyond sex hungry this entire pregnancy and have been all over DH..we've been going at it in the morning and at night...this morning he woke me up and I was almost repulsed by the thought of having sex...NOT repulsed by him. I still find him very sexy and handsome, but I told him I was sorry but I'm in no mood for it this morning. He said he understood and didn't seem angry but seemed a little, put off i guess, about it. It's like I want to but I don't want to if that makes any sense at all. Normally, if I'm not really in the mood, I'll still give him oral or something..but I want nothing to do with anything sexual..even though I know he knows its all hormonal, I think on some level he thinks I don't want him because of him. I do know that it never feels good to be turned down no matter what the reason. Ugh...

vent over lol

by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 1:43 PM
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Replies (1-5):
blueeyegirl1987
by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 4:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Lmao we are the same weeks and out of no where my sex drive is gone! I think its our horo.... and one minute im ready to rape him then im not...
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TeenMommyof1b1g
by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 5:08 PM

It happens, I entirely lost my sex drive after I had our daughter. And didn't get it back until after I had our son (2 months ago) After I had her, I'd give it to him like every other month, because I felt bad that I didn't want to all the time. Before we had a kid it was a 3 time a day thing. Your hormones are a part in it, another part might be that you might not feel as sexy as you used to before you had a baby belly that made it so you can't see your feet & the swelling... and everything else that comes along with being pregnant...

first12jump
by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 5:08 PM

Thank you for being the counterpoint to all the threads saying that if you don't want to have sex with someone, there most be something horrifically wrong with you.

See people? She doesn't want to have sex. She loves her husband, she's not cheating, she doesn't need to be "seduced" by him, she doesn't think he's ugly, there's no conspiracy, she understands how it makes him feel in return. He shouldn't get surgery or change his life or divorce her or god knows what else.

Thank you again for your post. I have one more question to draw another parallel with your situation and theirs. If your husband/friends told you that if you loved him, you would have sex with him whether you wanted to or not, what would you say/feel?

Dee0886
by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 5:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Thankfully I'm married to a very understanding man, so I really don't think, especially right now, he would think too much into it. If friends came at me with the "if you loved him" bit, I'd tell them it's my marriage and the only person who has any place to say or feel anything about it, would be my husband.

If for some reason DH did tell me he felt as though I didn't love him bc I wouldn't have sex with him, I think I would be a little offended. I have never had the lack of sex drive as I have now so it's never been a problem, but I'd tell him I was so sorry he felt that way, but just to bare with me, please be patient and give me time to figure out whats going on with me either emotionally or physically causing me to feel this way. I also understand that sex and initimacy is important to many people, myself and DH included, so I'd understand his feelings.

But as far as right now goes, he knows its becoming uncomfortable for me, I feel the pressure of needing to pee when he's inside of me..there's no such thing as a "comfortable position" as of right now, and my body is exhausted, and I'm preoccupied with the thought of "oh I have to pudh a human being out of my body in about a month or so", which can be distracting lol

Quoting first12jump:

Thank you for being the counterpoint to all the threads saying that if you don't want to have sex with someone, there most be something horrifically wrong with you.

See people? She doesn't want to have sex. She loves her husband, she's not cheating, she doesn't need to be "seduced" by him, she doesn't think he's ugly, there's no conspiracy, she understands how it makes him feel in return. He shouldn't get surgery or change his life or divorce her or god knows what else.

Thank you again for your post. I have one more question to draw another parallel with your situation and theirs. If your husband/friends told you that if you loved him, you would have sex with him whether you wanted to or not, what would you say/feel?


first12jump
by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 5:32 PM
1 mom liked this

Thank you for this answer. It is very well thought out and composed and I think it reflects highly on both your husband and you.

It can be hard for other people to understand feelings/emotions we have when we don't necessarily understand them ourselves. The best we can do is try to engage in dialog that allows the other person to be comfortable telling you how they feel about the situation. Chances are they know that it isn't what it appears to be, and they just need to hear you explain where you are right now mentally/emotionally etc. That also helps them in the future: if they know how you really feel about them, in times when it might not be as clear as it was in the past, the fear of the unknown won't drive them to negative thoughts. They'll know that given time, you will open up to them about what is going on.

Quoting Dee0886:

Thankfully I'm married to a very understanding man, so I really don't think, especially right now, he would think too much into it. If friends came at me with the "if you loved him" bit, I'd tell them it's my marriage and the only person who has any place to say or feel anything about it, would be my husband.

If for some reason DH did tell me he felt as though I didn't love him bc I wouldn't have sex with him, I think I would be a little offended. I have never had the lack of sex drive as I have now so it's never been a problem, but I'd tell him I was so sorry he felt that way, but just to bare with me, please be patient and give me time to figure out whats going on with me either emotionally or physically causing me to feel this way. I also understand that sex and initimacy is important to many people, myself and DH included, so I'd understand his feelings.

But as far as right now goes, he knows its becoming uncomfortable for me, I feel the pressure of needing to pee when he's inside of me..there's no such thing as a "comfortable position" as of right now, and my body is exhausted, and I'm preoccupied with the thought of "oh I have to pudh a human being out of my body in about a month or so", which can be distracting lol




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