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I need help - I am so confused.  Back story - my husband lost his job in August 2012 - has not found one (nor do I even think he is looking - whole different story) - we did just have a baby in January - we have had sex once since the baby has been born and before that it was a long time before because it hurt me.

My problem/issue is: 

1.  He has been texting a lot (I got the numbers of all the text he has done), hids his phone from me, put a lock with a passcode on his phone, etc.  When I get home from work I take care of the baby until the baby falls asleep - my husband is on his phone the whole time and doesn't really even talk to me.  So is he cheating - maybe not in the "normal" way but is this cheating???

2.  When we have had sex in the past - it is aweful - he is only there to please himself - he has even said "if I get mine that is all that matters".  There is NO foreplay EVER!  In the 5 years we have been together I can count on one hand how many times he has gone down on me - therefore I will not pleasure him in that way either - if you cannot return the favor - you are not getting it either. 

3.  About two/four weeks ago his testicle swelled - took him to the emergency room - they said it was an infection - he went back to the doctor last week because he said the "nut" is miss shaped - they gave him a medicine that when I looked it up on-line is use for gonorrhea or syphilis - I don't have either.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO what do I do - I am very horney, but will NOT have sex with him - I just cannot bring myself to have sex with him - have tried "taking care of it myself" but that does not satisfy me - I have a male friend that we have always made sexual comments back and forth - stupid stuff like when talking about a screw driver - saying hey speaking of screwing - stupid - I know...  Anyway last night I told him I wanted to F&*k him - I am SO close to cheating on my husband (by the way I have also printed out divorce papers - just not ready to give up just yet - we haven't even been married 3 years yet).

Any help will be greatly appreciated - what do I do and how in the hell can I get over this horneyness?!?!?!?!?

by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:04 AM
Replies (31-32):
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 9:40 AM
He obviously has some new friends he just hasn't told u about them. The std passing kind... I'm sorry hunny but don't be soft about this. U need a LONG talk to decide where u both will go from here. He can't take your baby. Plain and simple. At most even tho he doesn't work he will have to pay child support Nd get visitation. No worries on that. I'm so sorry u have to go thru this!

Quoting ShannonLC974:

Thanks all - I know cheating is not right - hench why I posted here - thought maybe putting it is writing would help - it has...  I have tried talking to him - he gets all angry and doesn't really talk - my biggest fear - that he will take my new born son (14 weeks old) - I know the courts wouldn't let him have him - for the crying out loud he doesn't even have a job so how is he going to support our baby, but I am afraid he would take him - the only thing holding me back from kicking him out or hell even me moving out - is he has no friends here - he is from 3 states away from where we live and has never made any friend - so he has no where to go - that is the soft side of me coming out - always thinking of others before my own happiness!!!  :(

by Anonymous 7 on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:59 AM
Two wrongs don't make it right but it damn sure makes it even

Quoting Anonymous:

Two wrongs don't make a right. Figure out your issues at home first.

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