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3some fantasy gone to far! *update*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 46 Replies
I'm not sure if I'm overreacting right now, so I need some input.... I feel very hurt right now b/c DH wants a 3some... with a girl he works with!!! I asked him awhile ago about fantasies and he said a 3some with another girl, normal enough for any guy, so cool. I've been trying to get him to have sex more so I ask what he would do/want us girls to do, so I know that I encouraged the fantasizing... BUT! Tonight he asks if I want to see a pic of the girl he'd like a 3some with and pulls up her pic on facebook. She's pretty, and he obviously encounters her on a regular basis... I think I could handle it if she was a celebrity or model, someone that he would never see in real life. But this is a girl in real life that he talks to! And he's been fantasizing about her... not cool! He doesn't want to do me, but he's all excited about this chick. I am so hurt and pissed off right now... do you think I'm overreacting since I did encourage the line of thought or am I justified in feeling so hurt and betrayed?

Update: I talked to him... well I actually broke down crying and between sobs told him that I didn't want anyone else in our love life at this point and that I was really hurt that he was thinking about someone else/really considering it. He apologized, said he wasn't meaning it how it sounded, that he was just saying that he thought she was cute... whatever to that! But he did suck up a lot and say that I'm the only one for him, the prettiest, sexiest blah blah blah, and that IF we ever decide to introduce anyone else into the bedroom that i'd be the one choosing. So we seem to be on the same page now in that its just us, that this was just a fantasy and not going to be coming into reality any time soon.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 29, 2013 at 1:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 29, 2013 at 1:59 AM
1 mom liked this
Woah. My husband walked that line and were seperated now.

Careful momma.....
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 1:59 AM
Sorry if there's any typos or if it doesn't make sense... its pretty late, I'm tired, and obviously emotional. None of which helps with typing on a mobile...
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 2:01 AM
That's what I'm afraid of... he harldy wants to have sex with me, even when I'm the one initiating, but b/c I asked he's getting all excited. How do they think that this is ok?!


Quoting Anonymous:

Woah. My husband walked that line and were seperated now.



Careful momma.....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 29, 2013 at 2:07 AM
3 moms liked this
3Somes are for strong secure couples who do it for fun, not to fix a boring sex life. You're obviously uncomfortable with the thought so I wouldn't do it.
You need to be honest with your dh however, if you are not into this girl, and are feeling jealous and insecure about the idea of a 3some, you need to express that.
It's OK that you gave it consideration, now you know it's not something you want to do. Next step is to tell him flat out, it's not going to happen.
SareyF
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:24 AM
1 mom liked this
From my understanding, it is best if when you do have threesomes or swing etc. that you do it with people not involved in your regular daily life because insecurities and complications arise. It is better if you and your so do the searching together, agree on everything, talk and talk, set rules, etc. But it seems to me that you don't really want this at all. And considering you are having problems in the bedroom and possibly other parts of your relationship, it is a particularly bad idea.
Sit him down and tell him your true feelings about him not wanting you but her. Tell him that you entertained the idea but feel its not the right time.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on May. 29, 2013 at 2:48 AM

You are definitely justified... just because you encourage a 3some fantasy doesnt mean he has the right to go on the hunt... Id be so hurt and insecure. It would open up so many doors for my insecurities to leak out... Oh man Hon, Im sorry most guys arent all that sensitive when it comes to our feelings. Id definitely watch out... I bet he wouldnt like it if the shoe was on the other foot...

priyanand
by on May. 29, 2013 at 7:16 AM
get @ his work and kick that bitch ass..
MeaganP
by Bronze Member on May. 29, 2013 at 8:03 AM
1 mom liked this
For what she did nothing but go to work. I talk to men all day at work about work not sex


Quoting priyanand:

get @ his work and kick that bitch ass..

Chrissie670
by on May. 29, 2013 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this

  I totally agree..you need to be secure in your marriage especially with sex, you need rules and you need to be honest with each other. Hubby and I have been swingers for years and one of our many rules is never invite a co-worker or friend(s) into the bedroom.  It makes things weird for everyone.


Quoting SareyF:

From my understanding, it is best if when you do have threesomes or swing etc. that you do it with people not involved in your regular daily life because insecurities and complications arise. It is better if you and your so do the searching together, agree on everything, talk and talk, set rules, etc. But it seems to me that you don't really want this at all. And considering you are having problems in the bedroom and possibly other parts of your relationship, it is a particularly bad idea.
Sit him down and tell him your true feelings about him not wanting you but her. Tell him that you entertained the idea but feel its not the right time.


 

GarysWife1991
by on May. 29, 2013 at 8:53 AM

 You both need to be very secure in your relationship with each other before exploring others. 

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