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Does 'no' still mean 'no' once married? *some detail*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 93 Replies
2 moms liked this
When DH and I were being counseled by our preacher before we were married we were told that my body now belonged to my husband but he had to treat it with respect. About a week ago, DH and I had the biggest fight we had since we have been married. I had caught him in a lie that he had been holding for over a month and it nearly cost us our marriage. Even though I forgave him in the end, he felt like a completely different person to me and I couldn't stand for him to touch me or even be around me. Yet I didn't want to kick him out of the bed and make him sleep on the couch because i don't believe in that. Anyway, I was already in bed when my husband came in. I was on my stomach and trying to go to sleep when he crawled into bed. When he got into bed beside me, he rolled me over onto my back which he does sometimes when he wants to hold me. I thought nothing of it even though him touching made me uncomfortable for reasons mentioned above. But then he started to get on top of me and when I tried to stop him he just shushed me. Then he got between my legs and I felt him at my entrance and I strictly told him 'no'. He said "What do you mean 'no'?" "I mean 'no!'." Anyway, he didn't listen and instead pulled my right leg over his shoulder and entered me. I screamed 'no' again as he entered but he ignored me. He then continued to have sex with me even though I struggled again before just giving up. Even when he saw I couldn't look at him and was trying not to cry he just asked if it was because of my mood. He kept going until our DD started crying and then I was able to push him off me. Since we are married and 'my body belongs to him' and he didn't really hurt me or anything, was this considered rape or just a husband having sex with his wife? Is it even possible for a husband to rape his wife?
Posted by Anonymous on May. 29, 2013 at 2:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jacandjay
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:26 PM
7 moms liked this
Yes its considered rape. Anytime a woman says no and its ignored its rape.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 29, 2013 at 2:26 PM
3 moms liked this
It is rape. No means no. I'm so sorry that he did that to you. Your body doesn't belong to him. That's an old outdated way of thinking.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on May. 29, 2013 at 2:29 PM
2 moms liked this

Just because your married doesnt give him the rights to your body. He does not own you. You said no and more than once, that is rape. You could file charges on him if you wanted. Id sure be rethinking things if i couldnt trust my spouse to not have sex with me when i clearly said no multiple times. 

roosmommy101212
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:29 PM
6 moms liked this
That's rape. Fuck what your preacher says with the whole "your body belongs to him". Your body belongs to you! And if that douchebag husband of your can't even respect you enough to not rape you get the fuck out of that marriage. You're setting yourself and your daughter up for years of abuse. Call the cops if he pulls this shit again
Cafe Amanda
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes, there is such a thing as spousal rape. :( I'm so sorry this happened to you. Here's more information about it. Did you talk to him about it afterwards?

Quoting Anonymous:

When DH and I were being counseled by our preacher before we were married we were told that my body now belonged to my husband but he had to treat it with respect. About a week ago, DH and I had the biggest fight we had since we have been married. I had caught him in a lie that he had been holding for over a month and it nearly cost us our marriage. Even though I forgave him in the end, he felt like a completely different person to me and I couldn't stand for him to touch me or even be around me. Yet I didn't want to kick him out of the bed and make him sleep on the couch because i don't believe in that. Anyway, I was already in bed when my husband came in. I was on my stomach and trying to go to sleep when he crawled into bed. When he got into bed beside me, he rolled me over onto my back which he does sometimes when he wants to hold me. I thought nothing of it even though him touching made me uncomfortable for reasons mentioned above. But then he started to get on top of me and when I tried to stop him he just shushed me. Then he got between my legs and I felt him at my entrance and I strictly told him 'no'. He said "What do you mean 'no'?" "I mean 'no!'." Anyway, he didn't listen and instead pulled my right leg over his shoulder and entered me. I screamed 'no' again as he entered but he ignored me. He then continued to have sex with me even though I struggled again before just giving up. Even when he saw I couldn't look at him and was trying not to cry he just asked if it was because of my mood. He kept going until our DD started crying and then I was able to push him off me. Since we are married and 'my body belongs to him' and he didn't really hurt me or anything, was this considered rape or just a husband having sex with his wife? Is it even possible for a husband to rape his wife?


Rachael-Dawn
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:31 PM
Yes. No means no. That is if you tried to fight him off of you in the process of him trying to enter you. There's a fine line with him being your husband and if you tried to fight him off to begin with hurting you or not married or not he still forced himself on you. It is considered marital rape.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 2:40 PM
1 mom liked this

I talked to him afterwards and he apologized saying he thought that I really wanted it. It isn't the first time this has happened but he has never really hurt me when he does this. He apologized again the next day...

Quoting Cafe Amanda:

Yes, there is such a thing as spousal rape. :( I'm so sorry this happened to you. Here's more information about it. Did you talk to him about it afterwards?

Quoting Anonymous:

When DH and I were being counseled by our preacher before we were married we were told that my body now belonged to my husband but he had to treat it with respect. About a week ago, DH and I had the biggest fight we had since we have been married. I had caught him in a lie that he had been holding for over a month and it nearly cost us our marriage. Even though I forgave him in the end, he felt like a completely different person to me and I couldn't stand for him to touch me or even be around me. Yet I didn't want to kick him out of the bed and make him sleep on the couch because i don't believe in that. Anyway, I was already in bed when my husband came in. I was on my stomach and trying to go to sleep when he crawled into bed. When he got into bed beside me, he rolled me over onto my back which he does sometimes when he wants to hold me. I thought nothing of it even though him touching made me uncomfortable for reasons mentioned above. But then he started to get on top of me and when I tried to stop him he just shushed me. Then he got between my legs and I felt him at my entrance and I strictly told him 'no'. He said "What do you mean 'no'?" "I mean 'no!'." Anyway, he didn't listen and instead pulled my right leg over his shoulder and entered me. I screamed 'no' again as he entered but he ignored me. He then continued to have sex with me even though I struggled again before just giving up. Even when he saw I couldn't look at him and was trying not to cry he just asked if it was because of my mood. He kept going until our DD started crying and then I was able to push him off me. Since we are married and 'my body belongs to him' and he didn't really hurt me or anything, was this considered rape or just a husband having sex with his wife? Is it even possible for a husband to rape his wife?




Michelle0609
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:43 PM

Yes it is rape No means No but you need to talk ot your hubby!

SareyF
by on May. 29, 2013 at 3:04 PM
No always means no. Yes, that is rape and it is not any more okay because he's your husband. Protect yourself and your child(ren).
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 3:09 PM

I have told him before about a submission/rape fetish that I have and he may be acting on this even though he said he is against it. Do you think he may honestly be mistaking my refusal for RP?

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