Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

OT. but I need some advice relationship wise.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
We split about a month ago, which for us means me moving to my home state. it was an ugly break. But we decided we were going to work things out.

Since we decided to work on it, he's not put any efforts in calling or talking to me. his phone is always dead, or he "forgets" it places. He works long hours, but he won't reply to the texts I send while at work, even after he gets out. we talk but mostly because of my relentless efforts.



I'm seriously conflicted. I want us to work.

For the sake of this conversation let's just say I know he's not cheating. (I don't but lets just say) .
How do I tell him how I feel without coming off as bitchy, whiny or weak.

I need to be tough, serious and to the point without being bitchy.
My usual problem is I get long winded and start sounding like a broken record. I need a new way to approach him.
Posted by Anonymous on May. 31, 2013 at 11:22 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
CAP1015
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:24 AM
1 mom liked this

His actions are saying that he wants to move on.  If you truly want this to work you have to let him go. After a while you could contact him to see the interest.  It seems like you are taking his lack of action as mixed signals and I think he is just not wanting to hurt you by saying "it's totally over".  JMO

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 11:25 AM
My problem is I feel like he thinks its a done deal and he doesn't have to try to work on anything.
supposedly he's sending me the money for new tires to go back, soon. not sure I want to if his efforts are this lackluster when I get there.
GoldenLinds
by Bronze Member on May. 31, 2013 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this
If his current actions are his example of what to expect while working things out one has to wonder how it differs from being separated. You need an honest answer as to how his actions have changed or else you will give him a clear example of how to be truly separated.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 11:29 AM
Totally see your point, and I've asked him once, before Are you sure you really want this because if not its okay we can both move on and split custody.


He says he truly does want us to work, Talks about all the plans he's e made for when I get there... we get all lovey dovey.


Quoting CAP1015:

His actions are saying that he wants to move on.  If you truly want this to work you have to let him go. After a while you could contact him to see the interest.  It seems like you are taking his lack of action as mixed signals and I think he is just not wanting to hurt you by saying "it's totally over".  JMO


chillemi78
by on May. 31, 2013 at 11:35 AM
Was he much of a phone person before? Would he leave his phone places or forget to charge it before you separated? Or send texts often?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 11:57 AM
He's not good with his words, expressing himself is difficult. but texting had never been a problem before. now it is.



Quoting chillemi78:

Was he much of a phone person before? Would he leave his phone places or forget to charge it before you separated? Or send texts often?

Kazmira222
by Bronze Member on May. 31, 2013 at 12:07 PM
1 mom liked this
My ex was that way and I really wanted things to work out, but he was doing nothing in return. I'd say move on mamma. He's not worth your wasted time.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
newlife2013
by on May. 31, 2013 at 12:15 PM
1 mom liked this
If he wanted to keep in touch he would, its ok at this point to sound as bitchy as necessary to get an answer as to where you stand as a couple. Ask when you are at your strongest, not when you feel like you may break down, think of the pain you are in. Accept the answer and move on, they move on very quickly.
Mommy1_2012
by on May. 31, 2013 at 1:41 PM
1 mom liked this

 Don't text or call him for a while. See if he makes an effort to get a hold of you. Give him the chance to miss you. You will know for sure then if he is serious. It may hurt if he does not but you will know then if he is truly wanting you guys to work out.

Mommy Knows Best!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 31, 2013 at 2:07 PM
This is exactly where I stand at this point. he's in the part of OK where all these tornadoes are hitting.
I txt him several times to ask if he was ok with no response, n then txt his cousin (last resort) and she said he was fine. His phone is working, so basically he's just ignoring my texts.


Quoting Mommy1_2012:

 Don't text or call him for a while. See if he makes an effort to get a hold of you. Give him the chance to miss you. You will know for sure then if he is serious. It may hurt if he does not but you will know then if he is truly wanting you guys to work out.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)