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Husband watches Gay porn daily.......

Posted by Anonymous
  • 21 Replies

OK Ladies, Help! My husband and I have been married 29 years. We started dating in High School. About 15 years ago I found a bunch of gay porn. I asked him about it and he said he was just curious and it was "no big deal." I told him then that if it was something he needed to explore or it was a bigger deal than he let on that I would let him go to explore that. I explained that I did not want to be 50 years old finding out my husband is gay. Id rather deal with it now, before we had kids, ect. I dont mind him looking at regular porn but the gay porn is a bit of a deal breaker for me if he is really interested, it really turns me off. Again he said "no big deal" he could do without it, and was only briefly curious.


Fast forward 15 years and 2 kids later, I found over 10,000 images of gay porn all neatly categorized on his computer. Images, videos, you name it. Way more gay porn than straight porn. He "says" he has never had a personal encounter with anothr man, but he thinks he is probably bi-sexual. Im 43 years old now and all the same feelings apply now as 15 years ago, only now I dont feel so understanding as he lied way back then, and has continued this behavior all along.  we have kids in the mix and now I dont trust him. I have no problem with gay people, but the visual in my head of my husband doing that shit is beyond a turnoff for me. Any advice or words of wisdom would be appreciated......

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:23 PM
maybe he wasn't sure back then, I'm still kind unsure about mine.
by Bella (California) on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:28 PM
Would u be willing to try thing in the bedroom to kinda satisfy that curiosity ??? And if he where to tell u I'm gay- bi what would u do .... would u support him in his sexuality ****
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:30 PM

Well of course he lied since you made such a big deal out of it being a deal breaker. He's probably bi and not comfortable talking to you about it since you have such an issue with it. 

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:34 PM
I would have to divorce him personally. I'm sorry you are going through this , I can't imagine.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:35 PM
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yes, I have tried to spice it up with him and use toys on him...I was hoping he would get over it or just not like it but eventually he just couldnt get off without that anal stimulation and truly I didnt enjoy doing that for him so it stopped. No, if he is Bi and is or wants to have sex with men I do not support that. It really turns me all he will say is "its no big deal" but obveously IT IS!

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:44 PM

 If he isn't out acting on the urges and cheating I really don't see the big deal.  Don't watch it with him.  If you make a huge deal out of it of course he isn't going to be honest with you.  It is still something that many people see as "bad".  If it is a deal breaker for you than tell him.  Neither of you need to be living unhappily over sex.

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:32 AM

Does he have any problems with arousal/orgasm during sex with you?

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 2:30 AM

Would you openly admit that you were bi-sexual or bi-curious if you knew you'd lose your spouse and the possibility of having kids?

He didn't lie to hurt you, and I know you're hurting, but his feelings about this matter. Personally, if I found it 15 years ago, I would've cut my ties then, because that sort of thing isn't just a passing phase.

The question is now, what do you plan to do or say to him? You need to think how you're going to talk to him about it, because going about it the wrong way won't do anything but make him shut down and you won't get any kind of answers.

by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 2:37 AM
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by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 6:51 AM

Sorry you are going through this. I would see that as a major problem and would feel very uncomfortable around him. I agree with Peaches, it is not/was not a phase. He might truly be gay and too afraid to admit it or too afraid to lose his family. I would make counseling a priority.

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