Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

'50 Shades of Grey' Blamed for Rise in Handcuff Sex 'Emergencies'

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:06 AM
  • 13 Replies

'50 Shades of Grey' Blamed for Rise in Handcuff Sex 'Emergencies'

by Maressa Brown

handcuffs heartSince initially hitting e-readers and riling the masses up, Fifty Shades of Grey has been the target of loads of criticism. But only recently has it been suspected as the culprit behind various, uh, risque emergencies. More and more London residents have reported getting stuck in handcuffs and other everyday household items in the last three years, says a new report from the London Fire Brigade.

The Brigade's Third Officer Dave Brown said in a press release, "I don’t know whether it’s the Fifty Shades effect, but the number of incidents involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up. I’m sure most people will be Fifty Shades of red by the time our crews arrive to free them." He's not kiddin'! Besides handcuffs, firefighters have also tended to one man who got his “manhood” stuck in a toaster and another who got his stuck in a vacuum cleaner. Bhahahaha! I mean ... ouch

It's not like the London Fire Brigade doesn't realize the reaction to this news includes a lot of smirks and uncontrollable fits of giggles, but they do want people to realize it's not all fun and games. They tweeted:

There's a serious side to this - when we're out cutting rings from penises & fingers we're unavaible for real emergencies

Agggh...! True, true. While I believe it bears noting that not all the incidents they mentioned seem to be related to what Christian Grey would call "kinky f***ery," this news does make a case for certain Fifty Shades fans backing aaaway from the BDSM! Just because a novice and her Dom BF were able to flog it up between the covers of E.L. James' book doesn't mean what they did -- or anything like what they did -- is something we should all be trying at home!

Clearly, something as seemingly innocent as handcuffs can get dangerous. Hence the need for people need to be, err, equipped, with the right info about how to opt for more than vanilla sex. Lest they end up having to make a 911 call for an emergency that's more excruciatingly embarrassing than anything else.

Would you blame Fifty Shades for the uptick in these emergencies?

by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:06 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
jenn75
by Gold Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:24 AM
I've never read fifty shades on principal but I'm pretty sure there was no toaster sex in the book. Lol
The vacuume cleaner (hose), I think my brother did that years ago.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:25 AM
Wtf. We used our handcuffs over a decade before those craptastic books ever existed. Lol
Angelanscalf89
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:28 AM
Ive read it and there definitely isnt any of that in there.... I wish my mom would stop talking about the time they caught my grandpa (dads dad) with a vacuum hose not something I want to think about.

Quoting jenn75:

I've never read fifty shades on principal but I'm pretty sure there was no toaster sex in the book. Lol

The vacuume cleaner (hose), I think my brother did that years ago.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LiamsLioness
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:48 AM
I am currently a little over half way through the first book in the series. I chose to read the series as I keep hearing all the talk over it and it rarely takes me long to read a book that size. So far I rather enjoy the book. I like BDSM and I think its absurd for the media to lay a blame on a book series. just cause someone reads it and is stupid enough to get themselves in one of those situations without the proper knowledge and play isn't the author's fault. I think there is quite a population of people that are naturally into BDSM and are feeling more open and encouraged. however to lay fault on a book is about as retarded as the notion that guns kill people. I suppose pencils are at fault for misspelled words? ha
jenn75
by Gold Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:51 AM
Lol.
Our neice's boys were taking a bath, they were about 7&9. She heard screaming from the bathroom and went running in there... One had his penis stuck in her conditioner bottle, the other was frantically pulling as hard as he could trying to get if off. There was a suction in the bottle that made it really stuck in there.
The one with his penis stuck was screaming and crying to "get it off of him!" And " it felt so good...I don't know what happened!"
Lol!


Quoting Angelanscalf89:

Ive read it and there definitely isnt any of that in there.... I wish my mom would stop talking about the time they caught my grandpa (dads dad) with a vacuum hose not something I want to think about.



Quoting jenn75:

I've never read fifty shades on principal but I'm pretty sure there was no toaster sex in the book. Lol


The vacuume cleaner (hose), I think my brother did that years ago.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:35 AM
1 mom liked this

Frankly, I hope more 50 Shades fans embarass themselves publicly.  That's what they get for using the sexual equivalent of "Horton Hears A Who" as an instruction manual.

dmcarpenter619
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 2:52 PM

 I think it is silly to blame a book.  People were being kinky way before that book came out.

 

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:15 PM
1 mom liked this

 People have always been kinky. 50 shades just made people more aware.

steph_hailee
by Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 12:29 AM

bwahahahaahaha I wanna know what his manhood was doing in a toaster. What were they trying to achieve hahahahaha

GarysWife1991
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:56 AM

 Well we've never had a problem with our cuffs. :) Claire

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)