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Need advice

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies
I've been thinking about it and just don't know what to do. A couple months ago my husband told me that this girl at work was always coming up to him and telling him her problems with her husband. I didn't think anything about it until about a week later she told him that she wished she had a guy like him. To me that was her way of saying she was unhappy and interested in him. He just said I was reading too much into it and she just needed to vent to somebody. Well a few days after that, her old man (he works there too) came up to my husband and told him that he knew she had a crush on him and would appreciate it if he stayed away from her. After they talked awhile (my husband told him that she made him feel uncomfortable) her husband told my husband that he was married to another woman when they started dating. He said he stayed away from her, just saying hi if she said it first to be nice. Then at the beginning of the week, she sent him 5 friends requests on Facebook after he kept denying them. But he finally told me last night that the girl had asked him about a month ago to take a vacation day one day and spend it with her. Needless to say I'm livid, but he asked me not to say anything to her because he didn't want a hostile workplace with her and her husband. What would you do? I would love to call her out or even call the HR department and see if there's something they could do but I don't want to add more stress on my husband. Help!!!
Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 26, 2013 at 9:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
PartyGalAnne
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 12:30 AM

You need to say something to her.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:13 AM

It's your husbands problem to deal with... Unless you live in Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, etc. in those states, the wife calls the woman or occasionally shows up in person. After that, it's a free trip to the Jerry Springer show.

peggytoo
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:44 AM

Someone needs to say something to her.  Workplace  stuff is messy sometimes depending on how long it has been going on.  Hubs needs to start putting effort into cutting off the personal stuff.  If not, I would do something.  She wants something that she is not getting.  

Or is this tip of some iceberg?

SSweetcupcake
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:35 AM
Talk to her NOW!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LHummel
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:17 AM

If it were me I would say something to her. I would tell my husband I was going to as well just so he's not blidesided if she says something to him. As far as a hostile workplace goes SHE made that happen already. He needs to say something to HR and to this girl. Thats my 2 cents. 

starreyedcutie
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:44 AM
Say something to her and let her know if she gets bitchy to your dh at work you'll talk to her boss/hr
Linda733
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:46 AM
2 moms liked this

Well first any woman telling a man she wishes she had a guy like him is flirting and there's only one way to "read" that. This woman obviously knows he is married and she is still pursuing him so I agree with the other ladies something must be said to her. Perhaps maybe all four of you can get together outside of your husbands workplace and address what has being going on. I feel that asking your husband to take a vacation day and spend it with her is going way to far and that can not just be let go. She needs to be put in her place and back off! You could also just wait for her after work and approach her. She obviously has problems in her marriage and that is her problem but now she is attempting to cause problems in someone else's marriage. There is always the option of your husband going to HR and complaining but will that make it a hostile work environment with the other woman's husband? I will say I give your husband respect for being honest with you about it. There are slot of men out there that would have jumped at that chance. You have a good man

Linda733
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:49 AM


Sorry for the typos. My iPad changes words all the time :-) 

Quoting Linda733:

Well first any woman telling a man she wishes she had a guy like him is flirting and there's only one way to "read" that. This woman obviously knows he is married and she is still pursuing him so I agree with the other ladies something must be said to her. Perhaps maybe all four of you can get together outside of your husbands workplace and address what has being going on. I feel that asking your husband to take a vacation day and spend it with her is going way to far and that can not just be let go. She needs to be put in her place and back off! You could also just wait for her after work and approach her. She obviously has problems in her marriage and that is her problem but now she is attempting to cause problems in someone else's marriage. There is always the option of your husband going to HR and complaining but will that make it a hostile work environment with the other woman's husband? I will say I give your husband respect for being honest with you about it. There are slot of men out there that would have jumped at that chance. You have a good man



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:52 AM
1 mom liked this

You could also accept the friend invite on Facebook and let her know who you are and that your husband told you everything and warn her to back off and avoid future problems. Then block her 

MyMyOhMy
by Silver Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 1:48 PM

What ever else, he needs to document (emails, screen prints date,time and notes of encounters) and be first to HR so that if she tries to claim he is harrasing her, he has proof otherwise.

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