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Scared that I don't want this baby.

Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies

I am pregnant with my third child, however I don't feel any type of connection to this baby. I don't know what it is and I'm worried all the time about it. I'm afraid I won't love this baby like I love my other two kids. This was a surprise pregnancy and I've been sick all the time with it, I don't know if that has something to do with it? Has anyone else felt like this? I told my husband how I felt today and he was understanding but angry, he was heartbroken about it which makes me feel even more like shit. What do I do?

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 26, 2011 at 12:38 AM
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by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 12:44 AM

 with my 3rd i felt that way while i was preggo. i didnt think i could love the baby like my other 2(3rdbaby not planned) but on  june 30 had her and i was totally in love with her. i love all 3 of them sooo much and i can not say one more than the other they are all soooooo diffrent and their own person. im sure you will feel connection soon. some people dont feel anything till baby is born, and thats ok

by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 1:12 AM

it passes, believe me..  if you are having a hard time, then i can relate.. i was high risk with all 3 of my pregnancies.. i was at the doctor's office every week... i was never a happy camper.. it was hard.. i was sick all day, everyday for 9 months... i was afraid i was going to miscarry all the time... so in my mind, i didn't have much of a connection, til i felt movements.. it was a coping mechanism of mine i suppose.. my family has a long history of miscarriages.. my own mom lost 4..

  the feeling does go away, i promise you.. when you are miserable, and in pain, its hard to have any other emotion but the one you feel now.. you sound exhausted... things changed for me, when my babies first started moving.. thats when it turned to fuzzy feelings of love.. 

by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 8:27 AM

I felt a lot of connection with my first baby, but not with my second, and I was worried too. I did some prenatal yoga, and the meditation at the end helped me connect with her a little bit. Also, I ended up buying a lot of stuff for her because I felt like that helped me get excited for her. After she was born, I ended up loving her just the same. Don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's normal to feel that way!

by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 10:48 AM

Maybe it's becasue you have two other little ones to run after and care for so much that you haven't really given yourself time to connect with bby #3? I am also preggers with #3, and i've noticed I don't sit and read to this one, or rub my belly all the time, or sit around and day dream about him...but that's mainly b/c I don't have the time! lol

I will bet you a million bucks that when you lay eyes on your little baby, all those worries and fears of not loving him/her will vanish! I know mine will, b/c i felt the same way about bby #2, if i was gonna love him like i did his sister,etc...and when he came out it was all i could do to not kiss him to death! :):)

by Gold Member on Oct. 26, 2011 at 11:53 AM
I have been there. I got pregnant with my youngest on accident and was completely devastated. I cried for months and thought about adoption ALOT. I went into pr-term labor and something snapped. It took until almost 8 months pregnant that I realized I loved my baby. I wouldn't change anything for the world now
by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 12:09 PM

I've made that same confession to my husband. He does get angry, but we talk about it and usually he finds that there is an underlying problem (he should have been a psychiatrist!)

With my last baby I distanced myself from the pregnancy because I had had 6 miscarriages, 3 directly before him, and I didn't want to get myself attached until I could hold him in my arms. He is my sweet, little, precious gift from God (heart defects, genetic disorder) and I love him immensely.

by on Oct. 26, 2011 at 12:13 PM
I'm sure it will pass ***&ugs****
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by Gold Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:38 PM

I've heard this a lot actually, and I've not once heard that NOT change when they actually had the baby. That's when the love came. The connection isn't always automatic. It is important to always be honest about your feelings though.

by Bronze Member on Dec. 30, 2012 at 8:24 PM
I know exactly how you feel. My third was concieved after a vasectamy. I was sick the whole time-even during her delivery. It took me about 3 months to accept I was pregnant. I didnt refer to the baby until about 6 months and even then i used the term it. But, now that I have her I really couldn't imagine my life with out her. She is such a joy and fits right in everywhere. You'll love this one and be like I can't believe I was ever anxious about this once your able to hold your baby and care for it. Best of luck and you can pm me if you ever feel overwhelmed or just want to talk.
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