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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Letting one of my kids live with his dad

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies

I am letting one of my 10 yr olds go live with his dad.  This is something he has been wanting to do since we separated.  Me and my son do have issues with each other because his dad does favor him so he doesn't seem to think he has to listen to me.  I'm letting him go because I just can't deal with the attitude anymore.  Call me a bad mom but him acting the way he does doesn't only affect me but it affects the other kids too.  I love all my kids but I need the break.

Posted by Anonymous on Oct. 29, 2011 at 7:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
auroragold
by on Oct. 29, 2011 at 7:38 AM

Why would anyone think you're a bad mom? There is nothing wrong with having a father be the primary caregiver at all.  And isn't it better that you are trying to find solutions to have a healthy homelife for your children?

It'll be okay

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 29, 2011 at 7:52 AM

Yeah thats what I thought too.  I know my ex and I have had issues but I enabled him to be the way he was by not leaving a long time ago. Now he has to be responsible for himself and he is doing just that.  Some people just don't get it I guess.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 29, 2011 at 11:18 AM

i've never understood why people think somebody is a bad mom if the kids live with their dad.

you are a good mom cause you're making the decision to give all of you a better life.

caroberts
by Member on Oct. 29, 2011 at 12:24 PM

If it's better for the child then you're doing the right thing.  My stepson wanted to live with us (my husband, his father) and his mom didn't want to at first but now she's ok with it and he likes living with us.  He can see his mom whenever he wants and still loves her alot.  Your child loves you, he just loves his dad too and right now that's who he wants to live with.  Just stay involved.  My stepson's mom doesn't come to get him that much and I know he misses her.  So don't make him feel like you love him less because he lives with his dad.  You're a great mom to "let him go" I know it's hard but it's a selfless thing to do

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 29, 2011 at 12:32 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd never make my kids feel like I love them less for any reason.  I feel this is the best thing right now for him and everyone for that matter.  Things may change and my doors will always be open to him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Oct. 29, 2011 at 2:20 PM

This :) your still a great mom if your willing to let your son go at such a young age and not live with you. You can still see him anytime, so its not really a "not getting enough time together" issue. It may even bring you closer because he may miss you sometimes and the attitude he has with you may drop. Good luck!

Quoting Anonymous:

i've never understood why people think somebody is a bad mom if the kids live with their dad.

you are a good mom cause you're making the decision to give all of you a better life.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Oct. 29, 2011 at 3:15 PM

Thank you very much.  I know I'm not a bad mom.  I have thought this through for a long time before making a decision.  I know that I'm making a good decision, I just don't get how some people just jump the gun and don't listen.  Thank you everyone for reading and commenting.

itsallabtthem84
by Ruby Member on Oct. 29, 2011 at 3:17 PM


Quoting auroragold:

Why would anyone think you're a bad mom? There is nothing wrong with having a father be the primary caregiver at all.  And isn't it better that you are trying to find solutions to have a healthy homelife for your children?

It'll be okay

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kelliegrace20
by on Oct. 29, 2011 at 7:02 PM

You are not a bad mom if you think you are doing what you think is best for your children! Straighten your back bone and smile Momma cuz your doing what you think is best! Its not like we all get a manual on how to raise our kids with each birth/adoption! 

LEXCEE
by on Oct. 29, 2011 at 7:47 PM

frist of all your not a bad mom for admiting you cant handle him-or that u need a break.see if this works.in my opion your trying.you may love ur son but there is nothing in this world that said you have to like  him.if his attitude stinks.if hes 10 and he is acting like this now-then by 12 or15 he will be out of control.u wont be able to handle him.and yes u have other kids - who sees his behavior-and they will say the 10 year old does it so why cant i-----just explain to him that you love him but his attitude stinks and anytime he wnts to come home he can-but with a change of attitude. see if his gets to know the real boy-good luck-alex

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