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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He will always be the love of my life.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

When I was 20, I was dating this guy who was much older than me. He was 32. I had met him at college. He was legally blind and had to use a cane to help him getting around. He was so handsome. He had this long dark hair. He was the same exact height as me. He also had a kidney and pancrease transplant before I met him due to prolonged diabetes so he was on a ton of meds he had to take to ensure his body didn't go into rejection.

Anyway... Be that as it may. He was wonderful. The first time I went to his home, after we had seen each other at campus a ton of times, he played his guitar for. He had been in a band with his friends Ronnie and oh I can't remember the guys name, but anyway, he played a song, and I got up and hugged him and I felt a fool, he didn't hug back, until I tried to pull away, and suddenly we were kissing and we made love, me for the first time ever, and it was amazing.

He would come over my house and we would hang out, hug, kiss, watch movies, have sex, it was amazing. But he kept saying I was too young, just a kid, and he wouldn't make a commitment. I kept waiting for him to come around. I was IN LOVE 100%, and I wanted him to feel that way too.

We had an abortion together when my birth control failed. I didn't want to, and he didn't want to. But at the time, I was living with strict parents who would have tossed me on the streets, and he was living with his parents, being legally blind and needing pills, etc, he needed the help.

So after about a year of this, I had a good friend over the house. And he called. And said he wanted to be with me forever, and my friend who could hear, is going no, keep your dignity, and say NO. I fell to her peer pressure and told him NO.

Worst mistake ever.

I do love my husband of course, we have been married a long time now and have three kids.

But the bad part is this...

I'm waiting for either my kids to grow up and move out or him to leave me or him to get hit by a truck so I can look up Dave, this wonderful man I will never stop loving. How terrible is that?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 1, 2011 at 7:43 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 2, 2011 at 5:37 PM

My husband likes to joke that if he looks at me wrong...

Quoting Anonymous:

4 pregnancies using 3 different types of birth control? Talk about fertile. ???


Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Nov. 2, 2011 at 5:48 PM

Sounds like you need to grow up...

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 2, 2011 at 5:57 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like you need to grow up...

If your idea of growing up means forgetting your first love than I don't want to grow up and I disagree with your idea of what growing up is. If growing up means forgetting all happiness, I dont agree with what you think growing up means.

onefootcutiepie
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 5:58 PM

 ugh

Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Nov. 2, 2011 at 5:59 PM
You loved him but you can't remember his name? Did I read that correctly?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
abeezy7
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 6:06 PM
Wow is all I can say
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 2, 2011 at 6:09 PM

His name was Dave. I can remember his friend Ronnie he had the band with, I can't remember Ronnie's brother's name who was in the band also.

Quoting Anonymous:

You loved him but you can't remember his name? Did I read that correctly?


NDADanceMom
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 6:10 PM

CEO of a small company?  Do small companies have them?  LOL

Anyway, I think you need to tell your husband and tell the guy you are mooning over.  My guess is they will both not want much to do with you after that.  You need to move on.  Clearly you and your husband are not a good match and he should be with a woman that loves him.  Your x, I have no clue but if he is normal, stable and everything you think he is- he didnt wait for someone that dumped him the way you did!  The only guy that would wait is a mental. 

Hopefully you will wind up single and still have a pot to piss in, and your kids.  You can then get some therapy to understand how you can treat people so badly and then maybe you will deserve the kind of man you want.

babygirl_18
by on Nov. 2, 2011 at 6:25 PM
Ummm...whats your husbands email I will tell him that his wife that is not in love with him doesnt want to be with him and it is bc she had always been thinking about some guy that let her get an abortion that they didn't want (crazy theory there). now don't you think that would cause him to kill himself? That he is living a lie while you live a fantasy which by the way i feel like I'm reading a fake novel..maybe you shouldn't be selfish and leave him yourself instead of waiting to not be the bad guy and let him do it. What makes you think a blind msn is going to take a woman who is triffling and has three kids by another man that she wanted dead bc it would be easier on her. He would have to be completely off in the head. Be careful because God has an awesome way of giving what you giving out.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 12 on Nov. 2, 2011 at 7:12 PM
Oh okay.

I still couldn't imagine why if you are that "in love" with someone, you could settle for what you obviously perceive as 2nd best.

Quoting Anonymous:

His name was Dave. I can remember his friend Ronnie he had the band with, I can't remember Ronnie's brother's name who was in the band also.


Quoting Anonymous:

You loved him but you can't remember his name? Did I read that correctly?


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