Awhile back dh helped his friend move back up where we live, but his friend didn't have power or water on at his house yet and he has a pregnant wife and a set of two year old twins. Actually, they aren't quite two years old yet, they turn two this month I believe. So we agreed to let them stay for the weekend so that on the following Monday dh's friend could have the power and water turned on, that was a big mistake. What was supposed to only be three days turned into nearly four months. dh's friend was lazy and good for nothing, he didn't help around the house, he wasn't working....all he did was sit around on the computer playing video games and expecting us to give him and his family a free ride in life. We put up with it for far to long. The twins were so disobedient, and more than just the normal toddler stuff. They were allowed to go to bed at whatever time they wanted, usually they would stay up until well past midnight (my ds is always in bed by 9 at the latest, but he is usually in bed at 8:00 on the dot) and sleep half the day away, then they refused to take a nap because they had already slept most of the day. When they finally did take a nap it was usually around 5:00-6:00 pm and then they would end up staying up all night again on account of that. Their parents let them have whatever they wanted whenever they wanted it, they didn't feel like hearing them cry.
The twins were both major bullies but in different ways. The girl was a biter, and she had major anger issues, so any time she was upset she would take her frusteration out on my son who is two. She bit his back so hard one time that it broke the skin and was purple and bruised for nearly a month, no joke. Another time she wanted his blankie (its his lovie. I make him share his toys and stuff, but there are three things that he does not share because they are special to him: his blankie, pooh bear, and pillow) so when she took it from him and he tried to take it back she bit his chin really hard. This was an almost day-to-day ordeal, I was constantly finding fresh bite marks on my ds. And it pissed me off so bad that the parents refused to discipline the girl for it, they usually just brushed it off. ds put up with the abuse from the twins really well, he didn't really hit or bite back or anything, he'd either sit there quietly and take it or come crying to his mommy. But eventually he got fed up (can you blame him?) and started hitting and biting back, but when he did tthe twins mom would freak out on him and spank him. She couldn't spank her own damn kids when they beat up on my poor baby but when he defended himself she felt she had the right to spank my child? When I caught ds either biting or hitting I would discipline him myself, even though deep down I knew they deserved it and didn't want to discipline him at all for it. But fighting violence with violence never solves anything.
So onto the boy twin...he was a hitter, pintcher, and hair puller. One time he pulled my ds out of a chair by his hair, ds smacked his face on the floor and his mouth was bleeding. The twins parents didn't do anything about it. So many times I fought the urge to smack these kids across the face, lord knows they deserved it. But I kept telling myself that they were not my children and it was not my place to discipline them in any way.
They had a dog, a miniature pinscher, who had been hit by multiple cars so he had bad hips. The dog didn't like to be touched on account of the bad hips, but ds didn't understand that. He loves animals (especially puppies and kitties) and he just wanted to play, but every time he came close to the dog the dog would growl and snap at him. But, of course, ds was always the one getting yelled at for "messing with the dog". One time the dog snapped and got ds in the face, he had a cut under his eye on his cheekbone. It wasn't very deep and didn't seem to hurt ds to bad, but still....at this point I was fighting the urge to tell them to deal with their dog or they were going to come home one day and find a dead dog. I am an animal person and am against animal abuse, but when it comes to my ds momma bear comes out. One night ds was trying to sit on the couch, but the mutt had claimed the entire couch as his and wouldn't let ds near it. dh's friend kept yelling at him to stay away from the dog, but all ds wanted to do was cuddle with his blankie on the couch. He got to close to the dog and the dog snapped at him, dh's friend yelled and said that if ds didn't leave the damn dog alone he was going to "beat his butt". This was my trigger. I had had enough, and was about ready to snap anyway, but when he said he was going to put his hands on my child I snapped and yelled at him saying "no you won't, he isn't your goddamn child". There was so much more I wanted to say, but I was so angry that I couldn't talk anymore or I'd start bawling my eyes out out of pure rage. So I scooped ds up in my arms and we went to my bedroom so that I could cool off. When I came back out dh said that they had all left. I asked where they went and he told me they went to their place, even though the water and electricty wasn't on yet. But guess what? It was on by the next day....if it was that easy to get them to get their shit together and leave then I should have gone off long before I did.
dh is still friends with them and we see them on occasion, but after everything that happened with the twins and my son I resent these kids. I cannot stand to be around them and I don't want ds around them But at the same time, feeling that way makes me feel like a bad person.