Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I want to leave him, but im scared of life without him?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies
my so pushes me to the point of wanting to be done, but after we hash it out he always goes right back to acting normal.... I always make myself relax and ignore the shit because as bad as I think I want to leave him or take a break I'm scared to actually do it. I'm scared if I say I want a break he won't care and will just go.... And I don't want that. I want to leave him, I feel that multiple times a week, but im scared to the point of years of life without him. Im so lost.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 3, 2011 at 7:56 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
tierneylv
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 8:00 AM

This is the typical cycle of abuse.  Google "cycle of Domestic Violence" and you will see your life posted there.  Quit being scared and become proactive---that means that you take control of your life!  He knows you are scared and is using it as a weapon against you!  It will ALWAYS be used as a weapon.  Think of it as being a gun.... would you want it constantly held up to your head?  He is using your fear as a weapon (gun) and is constantly holding up your thoughts.   Dump him..... or you are in for a sad and sorry life.

ekralevich
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 8:12 AM

My DH isn't physically or mentally abusive, but I have these thoughts too.  I felt like I was getting ready to call it quits and I felt my DH would just leave and not try to fix things.  I'm still pretty sure he would do that.  I wanted him to fight for me and show me how much I meant to him.  My DH shows no emotion to anything so it hard to know when anything bugs or makes him happy.  This is not always Domestic Violence, I'd be more likely to hit my DH than he would me.  We are in therapy to try to strengthen our communication.

Quoting tierneylv:

This is the typical cycle of abuse.  Google "cycle of Domestic Violence" and you will see your life posted there.  Quit being scared and become proactive---that means that you take control of your life!  He knows you are scared and is using it as a weapon against you!  It will ALWAYS be used as a weapon.  Think of it as being a gun.... would you want it constantly held up to your head?  He is using your fear as a weapon (gun) and is constantly holding up your thoughts.   Dump him..... or you are in for a sad and sorry life.


tierneylv
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 8:16 AM

I hope and pray it works out for you.  If there are 2 functional people in a relationship and they want it to work out they will.  The individual I answered to makes out her husband to be very dysfunctional.  Every case is different.   My ex and I tried counseling repeatedly and it worked out for a while, but the abuse would creep back in so slowly I didn't recognize it till it was too late and was left wondering, "how did I let it happen again".  I finally left and got my daughter away from him.  My only regret was that it took 15 years.

God Bless and I hope and pray it works for you both!   An intact family is always the best choice when possible!  :)

auroragold
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 8:18 AM

pushes you HOW?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 3, 2011 at 9:02 AM
Mentally... Never physically.


Quoting auroragold:

pushes you HOW?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
auroragold
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 9:06 AM

Yes, but what?

You argue?

He has unreasonable demands?

He accuses you of things?

You disagree?

Quoting Anonymous:

Mentally... Never physically.


Quoting auroragold:

pushes you HOW?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 3, 2011 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this

I thought I was the only one who felt like that, I feel the same way with my DH =/

KG34
by Silver Member on Nov. 3, 2011 at 11:04 AM

I felt this way too with my ex. For years I wanted to leave, but was afraid of being a single mother, afraid that I couldn't make it on my own. Finally it just got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I realized that things were only getting worse and were never going to get better. And you know what? I was wrong. I do just fine on my own and my son and I are sooooo much happier.

Mrs.Ziller
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 11:09 AM

 Does he hit you? Does he call you names or make you feel inferior? What happens when you get into arguments? Does he get mean, angry?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 3, 2011 at 11:34 AM
I understand what your going through I'm getting out of a 5 year abusive realationship and I'm here to tell you it only get worse I didn't listen to that little guy in my head telling me to leave and you tryed killing me get out as soon as you can you already know that he doesn't care about you anymore because of the way he's already treated you and I'm sorry to say that but I'm going through the same reality. Right know and it hurts bad but I'm waiting for the day when my life is better and I can move on with my life
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)