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Get over it!!!*Cursing*

Posted by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:06 PM
  • 14 Replies

I am so sick and tired of people telling others to "get over it". I am told that my son died almost 5 years ago and that I need to just let it go and move on. I have seen this same shit said to rape victims, those who have been molested, domestic violence victims, and so many others! Also tragedy effects people differently to some what one person is going through is a cake walk, but to the person actually dealing with it it could be the worst thing that has happened to them!

People deal with things differently, "we" won't get over shit just because you think we should. We will do it on our own terms. Thank You Very F'ing Much!

angrybanging head into wallslap

by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:10 PM

I don't know you or your particular situation, but some people do need to just get over it sometimes. I have seen people who (sadly) milk whatever attention they can out of unfortunate incidents. I've seen people who blame everything wrong in their lives on some tragedy that happened 10 years ago.

Not saying that's true in every case. I believe you do have real pain for your son, I'm not trying to belittle that. There's just some people out there that honestly just need to move on with their lives.

Aspirel
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:20 PM

Agreed.For instance,my DH had a crappy childhood.his mom was never home cause she worked two jobs and they bounced around from sitter to family member...I guess he resents her  for this and blames EVERYTHING wrong in his life on her and the way she brought him up.One day i finally got sick of it and  told him to grow the hell up and take responsibility for hisown actions. A 40 year old man shouldnt be still blaming his mother for everything.He still complains about her,but yet all she does is help him. He could ask the woman for 5000 dollars and she would hand it over with out thinking. She has helped us so much through out our relationship when things were tough.Yet he hates her and is always wishing death on her::/ he has some serious mommy issues I guess.

As far as losing a child though,you never get over something like that. You learn to live with it,but never get over it. There is nothing worse than outliving your children IMO. Hugs OP.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't know you or your particular situation, but some people do need to just get over it sometimes. I have seen people who (sadly) milk whatever attention they can out of unfortunate incidents. I've seen people who blame everything wrong in their lives on some tragedy that happened 10 years ago.

Not saying that's true in every case. I believe you do have real pain for your son, I'm not trying to belittle that. There's just some people out there that honestly just need to move on with their lives.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:24 PM

Those are the type of people I was refering to. My sister is like that.

I agree about losing a child though. I'm not sure I would ever "get over" that either.

Quoting Aspirel:

Agreed.For instance,my DH had a crappy childhood.his mom was never home cause she worked two jobs and they bounced around from sitter to family member...I guess he resents her  for this and blames EVERYTHING wrong in his life on her and the way she brought him up.One day i finally got sick of it and  told him to grow the hell up and take responsibility for hisown actions. A 40 year old man shouldnt be still blaming his mother for everything.He still complains about her,but yet all she does is help him. He could ask the woman for 5000 dollars and she would hand it over with out thinking. She has helped us so much through out our relationship when things were tough.Yet he hates her and is always wishing death on her::/ he has some serious mommy issues I guess.

As far as losing a child though,you never get over something like that. You learn to live with it,but never get over it. There is nothing worse than outliving your children IMO. Hugs OP.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't know you or your particular situation, but some people do need to just get over it sometimes. I have seen people who (sadly) milk whatever attention they can out of unfortunate incidents. I've seen people who blame everything wrong in their lives on some tragedy that happened 10 years ago.

Not saying that's true in every case. I believe you do have real pain for your son, I'm not trying to belittle that. There's just some people out there that honestly just need to move on with their lives.



ginene
by Silver Member on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:25 PM
Wow that's mean. I would never tell someone that. Everybody grieves and heals differently.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
newfound09
by Platinum Member on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:27 PM

Apparently not. I guess it is impossible for someone to be traumatized for many years over  something that happened to them. :(

Quoting ginene:

Wow that's mean. I would never tell someone that. Everybody grieves and heals differently.


davnrori
by Gold Member on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:31 PM
1 mom liked this

I've never lost a child but let me tell you- my fiance died in Iraq about 8yrs ago and even though I'm extremely happily married with 3 kids now, I still wouldn't say I'm 'over it'. Huge losses like that affect you forever. I know what you mean though. When I was seeing a therapist (bitch) after df died, I stopped seeing her after 3 weeks because she told me, "You need to stop crying over this." Imo, I should be able to cry as long and as hard as I want if I'm hurting. I think a 'get over it' situation is, like, when you hate your ex, or your kid's teacher is an a$$hole. Something that's situational, you know what I mean? Don't let idiots get you down. The loss of a child is not something you 'get over'!

ickybanana
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:39 PM

I agree!

Mrs.Ziller
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:44 PM

 I agree with you Elayna. I hate when ppl say "get over it." It's freakin' ridiculous. Obviously they have no clue.

ginene
by Silver Member on Nov. 3, 2011 at 3:46 PM
Right. And also sorry about what you have been and are going through


Quoting newfound09:

Apparently not. I guess it is impossible for someone to be traumatized for many years over  something that happened to them. :(

Quoting ginene:

Wow that's mean. I would never tell someone that. Everybody grieves and heals differently.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Vibrant.Heart
by on Nov. 3, 2011 at 6:24 PM

I agree.  

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