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Do you ever hate your...

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life?  I love my dh and kiddos, but I feel like I have lost everything that makes me ME.  I am creative and artistic.  I LOVE my family but I feel so down and trapped sometimes like where the FFFF did I go?  I used to be someone who had ambitions and ideas now I have laundry piles and dishes. I used to do sculputre, poetry, painting and attend art openings now I make halloween costumes and dinner!  I miss hot and heavy sex with my dh, actually I just miss sex period - I will even settle for mediocre (with dh of course)  I just need someone else who understands, I am not about to do anything drastic, I just would like to know how you deal with it. 

by on Nov. 5, 2011 at 10:34 PM
Replies (11-19):
by on Nov. 7, 2011 at 9:29 AM

 No, I dont ever hate it. There are some things in my life and decisions that I have made which I feel/wish wouldve been different.

by on Nov. 7, 2011 at 5:06 PM

I can't relate but I'll send up prayers.  I do suggest since you sound like you miss your former self that maybe you pick back an activity for you.  Find a creative niche that fills your void around being a mom.  As for the sex, tell your husband.  I'm betting he will take mediocre or be willing to make it hot.  

by on Nov. 7, 2011 at 5:15 PM

This is so sad.  You are educated enough to know that alcohol is a poor coping skill and that your depression is only being compounded by it's use.  You acknowledge things not being as you wanted with your kids.  Please seek counseling and get treatment.  Your children need you.  They need a role model, a mom and most  importantly you.  Not drunk you, the real you.  Please please seek to give them this.  You can find yourself.  It will not be easy and you may not be able to do it alone, but it can be done.  Ask for help and get well for yourself and your precious blessings.

Prayers and hugs.

( About your sister, she is a perfect example that happiness isn't about educational achievements or size.  Her self esteem sounds fine.  You get happiness from with in yourself and then you can be proud of what you value or your accomplishments.  However anyone putting their happiness on another person or something is sure to be let down.) 

Quoting Anonymous:

I am the same way. I was very ambicious, got through college quickly, worked hard, studied harder. I got my degree, got married to a man who wanted me to be a product of him. I had an affair, got divorced and now remarried to a new man. We are desperately in love,  and have beautiful children. We have recently moved, and I can't find work... anywhere. I have slumped into a depression, and alcohol has become my relief. Sad to say, I never drank an ounce in college, never partied, JUST school. Now I don't go outside, have any friends, and I dont do the things I always wanted to with my kids. 

My sister barely graduated, got pregnant too early, is WAY overweight... yet she is happy as a clam. I don't get it

by on Nov. 7, 2011 at 5:24 PM

 I do sometimes....

I used ot be artsy and free-spirited and FUN....and now...I'm just stuck behind piles of laundry, a vaccum cleaner, two kids, burp rags and diapers....sigh....

by on Nov. 8, 2011 at 10:10 AM

As far as chemical coping goes, I am afraid to drink because I don't want to gain weight.  I just worked my butt off (literally) to loose 20+ pounds.  BUT I have been tempted to smoke dope - I have NEVER been a smoker but did try it in college.  I too know that it is not the best way to cope but sometimes I feel so desperate, because I don't want my children to pick up on the vibe that I am so unhappy.  Like another poster said I have NO friends outside of my work.  The bitch is that I have taken the initiative and started mommy groups and been a leader in that sense but all the girls are at least 8-15 years younger and tend to only see me as an organizer.  I am thrilled that something I put my energy into brought other SAHM together and that it has been a lasting friendship for them, almost three years since I founded the group.  I have since withdrawn myself from the group due to feeling too overwhelmed.  This is not me, I have always been the positive, enthusiastic and energetic one, thanks for listening and relating to my situation.  I know there is something I can do to uplift my spirit, I just need to find it.  This group has helped IMMENSELY!  Nice to know you are not alone.

by on Nov. 8, 2011 at 10:13 AM

Thank the Gods I am not the only one who feels this way..... I hate that I don't love being a SAHM, it makes me feel like a failure as a mother.

by on Nov. 8, 2011 at 10:14 AM

I had a rut like that a few years ago.  Hubs encouraged me to do the things I loved.  Manis, pedis, nice clothes.  I just needed to be pretty me, not haus frau me. 

by on Nov. 8, 2011 at 11:47 AM

I do ever now and then...not necessarily hate but am not happy with

by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 8:19 AM

I love these girls!  Anyone near St. Charles MO?

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