I don't know what is wrong with me. I have some kind of emotional disconnect. I can't let anyone get too close to me. I have so many walls up. If anyone tries to get close to me, I immediately do everything in my power to push them away. It's like I have no control over it. I can't stop myself from doing it. I want to be able to be close to someone. I long for a companion. I'm tired of being lonely.