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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I can't take it anymore :o(

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 2 Replies

 I went throught a terrible depression almost a year ago. I dont think I am completely out of it though and seem to get swallowed in as soon as I start feeling like myself again. I just resently started college this fall, but i just cant seem to stay focused. I missed so many classes now that i think im going to lose student aid and wont be able to return when i get my head straight. Im letting everything i wanted go down  the drain. Ive been hiding the fact that im depressed like this from my family and friends because while i was last going through the last depression it seemed like they tried to avoid me. but as soon as i drop my smile and cheerfulness, ill be all alown again. All i want to do is sleep. I just want to sleep my life away. I barly eat anymore (i gain over 100lb durning my pregnacy, i already weighed 205 [the less i weighted sents i was little] but after the pregnacy i was 308lbs.) It kills me whenever i see myself in the mirror. Im only 21 years old. i used to be suuper super active in my sons life. but now i just sit in the dark upstairs. I dont want to even leave my room or have anyone over. I didnt brush my hair for over a week, and now i have this dread stuck in my hair and i cant even get it out. So now if i do even want to get out, im way to embarrased. ive been thinking about just ending it. i just cant seem to handle this. I was 17 yrs old when i was forced into marrage with my 28 yr old husband. i met him on myspace and only talked to him for awhile over about a yr off and on. well my stepdad hated me and once before he told my mom "me or her" so she picked him over me and sent me to my grandma. well my grandma passed and i get sent back to my mom. same thing happend. but it was to either go to foster care or get married. my mom liked the idea of this older guy marring me so i moved all the way from ohio to VA. hes soo terrible. ive been married to him over 3 yrs now. we have our son together. but i dont want to be with him. but i have no where to go. none of my family even cares. im all alown. and i cant just get up and leave w/ my son with no where to go. and i couldnt ever let him stay with my husband because of the way he treats us. i wouldnt be able to get a job w/o him taking the money. i feel sooo hopeless. i just want to give up. but i cant leave my son behind in that mess. i dont know what to do.

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 12, 2011 at 11:28 AM
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Replies (1-2):
sheilao409
by Ruby Member on Nov. 12, 2011 at 11:36 AM

ok first step is to be honest (does your husband hurt you, abuse you) if so time to leave is now . ive been in a similar  place . i was18 pregnant and living at home finally told mom i was pregnant my dad said get an abortion or get out... i went to a shelter for battered women and they helped me get on my feet find a place and a job. check and see if this is an option in your area. i am now 41 and living with my husband of 18 years and daughter also 18 and finally happy with my life (for the most part)you too ca get where you need to but you have to get out of that house if your unhappy.

americansugar80
by Bronze Member on Nov. 12, 2011 at 12:15 PM

There's always help through your courthouse with housing, money and food stamps and much more. You will just have to start life all over and there might be a huge battle between your son. Its up to you how bad you want it.

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