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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My 9 year old tells me this morning that she wants to die.....

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am devestated she said this to me. It was our usual morning of arguing and trying to get out the door for the bus. She coulndn't find something. I told her if she put her things away where they belong that she would know where her stuff was. She said that it was her brothers fault.....(her brother is a neat freak and has no problems helping out with chores) he makes it so she can't put her things away..(no, it doesnt make any sence). She doesn't own up to the things she does wrong or backfires on her. She is quick to blame others for her mistakes and doesn't take responsibility for her actions.  She is overly dramatic everyday and thinks the world is against her. My point of view is she is lazy and doesn't want to put her things away in her room. She doesn't want to help with any chores and sometimes it is just easier to just let her read a book than to hear her yell, scream and cry. I try to ignore it, I have grounded her, and she says this this morning and I want to cry.....I told her she needs to talk to someone if she thinks that. She told me she wasn't going to talk to anyone if I called someone to step in. She will just sit there and say nothing. I don't know what to do. There was 10 year old girl north of Chicago that commited suicide a couple of weeks ago and I'm sure that mom thougth her daughter would never do such a thing. I need advice from a seasoned mom. What do I do? I haven't stoped crying since she got on the bus....did she just say this for attention or is her life that horrible?

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 17, 2011 at 9:55 AM
Replies (51-60):
briesmomisback
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 6:54 PM

Good luck momma. I have no idea.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Nov. 17, 2011 at 7:15 PM

My struggle with depression started at 6 at 8 years old I had one failed suicide attempt. Find out what is wrong why she is upset and what she thinks will help. You can't cave and let her make the calls but you do need to see if she will open up to someone.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2011 at 10:06 PM

UPDATE: I took her out to dinner tonight..her choice to subyway.  I spoke to the school social worker and they let me know what happened when they spoke to her, but the best part is she told me everything that the social worker  told me. She is being bullied at school. She has said little things here and there but not very often and wasn't getting her point across to me how miserable she is feeling. She explaned that there are easy targets and hard targets and she is an easy target. This girls isn't even in her class but won't leave her alone at recess. She tells her to stop but will keep following her around. The same girl told her best friend that my daughter really didn't like her and didn't want to be her friend, but was just being nice and some other rumors. Also she is stressing over her brother and his constant need to talk all the time.  The bullying has been going on since 1st grade and she finally woke me up today about if. I feel horrible that I didn't catch how horrible this was for her. I told her to make sure if it continues to make sure she comes and talks to me or the social worker.  And I told her if I don't "hear" her (its a busy house and my kids are very close in age) to make sure she knows I am hearing her. i told her to tell me when she needs a mommy date and we will fit it in. The school social worker is going to work with her and he is letting me come in to meet with him on ideas on how to handle her brother.  I am so happy she was able to tell me all the details today. She said if it doesn't get better, that she wants to go to another school and we are willing to pull her out if it is still bad. 

Sara52
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 10:09 PM

There is probably something else going on. She needs to see someone she will talk to them they know how to get kids to talk. Ive never been on the mom side of this. I was a suisidal kid. I hated everything and wanted to die thearapy helped me be able to talk.

Quoting Aspirel:

I'm sure it was just an attention grabber but get her in therapy anyway.


LLeyhe
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 10:18 PM
1 mom liked this

Chemical imbalances can happen to anyone... even a 9 year old. She didn't just randomly think to say that. Maybe she has been thinking it for a while. Get her in ASAP for some therapy/evaluation. Maybe ease up on her a bit and reconsider your standards. It is life or death if her room is a bit messy? Give her some room to breathe and act on what she said.

PEEK05
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 10:19 PM

I would still take her to talk to someone.

LLeyhe
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 10:20 PM

Okay so I should have read up some.Duh. Glad you made some progress. Good luck and I hope everything turns out okay and your daughter finds some peace.

angeldessee
by on Nov. 17, 2011 at 11:08 PM

I started my period when I was 9 and this made me very depressed. I have very strong painful cramping almost to the point where I couldnt get out of bed. This also made me very hormonal and yes, pms has symptoms like depression. She could be getting to the point where her body is changing and her period is coming close to starting. This can be scary for her, she may not understand what is happening (berfore the blood starts, the body has to prepare itself, much like pregnancy.) sit down and talk with her see if you can get her to tell you why she said this. I was also often expected to be just like my older brother, he seemed the perfect child, so try not to refer to her brother in times of frustration or argument. I also feel that a counsel would be helpful!

good luck!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Nov. 17, 2011 at 11:15 PM

I found out she is being bullied at school. She may have some hormonial changes going on as well. My mom started her period when she was 9..so that could be a factor.

Quoting angeldessee:

I started my period when I was 9 and this made me very depressed. I have very strong painful cramping almost to the point where I couldnt get out of bed. This also made me very hormonal and yes, pms has symptoms like depression. She could be getting to the point where her body is changing and her period is coming close to starting. This can be scary for her, she may not understand what is happening (berfore the blood starts, the body has to prepare itself, much like pregnancy.) sit down and talk with her see if you can get her to tell you why she said this. I was also often expected to be just like my older brother, he seemed the perfect child, so try not to refer to her brother in times of frustration or argument. I also feel that a counsel would be helpful!

good luck!!


gracieb3
by Platinum Member on Nov. 17, 2011 at 11:22 PM
I'm a retired social worker. Take her to counseling every week and tell her you'll keep bringing her to sit in silence for a hour if she wants as you love her and want her helped. Then do it. Tell her as soon as she starts talking the appointments will wrap up. Go at least 8 talking times. Then wrap up of nothing else. It takes a few appointments to build rapport. Find a child therapist. I had many kids who were like that at first visit who wanted to come every week and never wanted to cease visits. Hug her more and focus on self esteem. Either way get her to counseling. God bless.
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