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Why am I like this?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

 I don't know what's wrong with me. Every time one of my dd's, especially my oldest hugs or kisses me, I cringe. IDK why and don't know how I can fix this. I'm not a lovey dovey with them like I am with my ds and he is 19 months old. I have no problem kissing him or him loving on me but it's just with my older dd's. I want to fix this b/c I don't want them to resent me, KWIM? I want to be able to show them love. I'm not on good terms with my mom and we some what had a decent relationship at one time but it could have been better. There are things she has done when I was younger I know she isn't too proud of but I know we aren't perfect. All I'm saying is I want to have that special mother daughter relationship with my dd's but don't know how b/c of how I towards them. I do love them, don't get me wrong. It's just the feeling I get when they love on me. =(

Please no bashing and any nice advice would be appreciated. =)

Posted by Anonymous on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:51 PM
I'd try therapy to see if you can find out why you react that way, than go from there. And maybe just get used to thinking about them in a loving way (I am in no way saying you don't love them. I'm not a very demonstrative person either.) and make an effort to tell them how much you appreciate their displays of affection. Sometimes, telling yourself something often enough can make it true. It worked for me, anyway.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:52 PM

Seek professional help. 

RubyCanSeeYou
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:53 PM

I think you should see a therapist. Someone who can suggest way you can form that bond you're missing. I hope you find a way to deal with this!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:54 PM

Dang! you sound like me toward my dd and i been hating myself for this and trying to fix it by having mommy days with her

elizabeth.mary
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 7:55 PM

Uh counseling?

I get like this sometimes with DS1, because of things that happened to me when I was little. Like I don't let him kiss me on the lips it creeps me out.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:16 PM

 

Quoting elizabeth.mary:

Uh counseling?

I get like this sometimes with DS1, because of things that happened to me when I was little. Like I don't let him kiss me on the lips it creeps me out.

 Yeah I have had a lot of bad things happen to me when I was little and like I said my mom has done somethings. Maybe that's why I am like I am? Yeah counseling would help I guess...

Miss-B
by ♥Divalicious♥ on Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:48 PM
Bump..
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:53 PM
Holy shit! I feel the exact same way. I feel awful for my oldest kids because I can't stand them hugging me or trying to snuggle with me.
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MissLeanna
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:56 PM
Therapy.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Nov. 26, 2011 at 8:56 PM

As my kids got older I didn't want hugs anymore.  I don't even like to cuddle with my husband.  sex is fine but all that extra affection....... no.  It's just a personality thing with some people.  I don't like to be touched.

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