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I cant stand when dh looks at me when Im naked

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 11:26 PM
  • 9 Replies
Since having ds a yr ago I hate my body. I gained 55 lbs when I was pregnant & lost 40 in the last yr, but its not enough, I feel like a whale! I'm short so any weight looks like a lot of weight on my stubby body & I feel like crying when we have sex & he wants me on top! I wear shirts 2 sizes too big bc I'd rather look grumpy than see any rolls. I'm 4' 11" & 135 lbs, I don't know if that's overweight by doctors standards. I know I'm a grown woman & shouldnt care what my dad says, but every time we talk he asks me when ill lose the weight. His last comment was "I never thought much of ur husband, but he must be a great guy to still love u after gaining all this weight!" I was 110 lbs when dh & I got together. Ugh. I know, I need to exersize & eat right, I just needed a vent. Dh keeps asking why I act weird in bed & I told him its bc I feel like a whale!
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 11:26 PM
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Replies (1-9):
babyboy117
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 11:31 PM

 That's horrible of your Dad to say! You don't sound obese to me. You probaly have curves which I think is beautiful. I hate that I lost too much weight since I have been breastfeeding. I used to have a nice plump butt and hips. I was 168lbs when I looked my best. Now I'm 145lbs and I hate it! I'm 5'8.

charliebean
by Platinum Member on Nov. 26, 2011 at 11:35 PM
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WTF... your dad is a fucking prick! Why do you let him speak to you like that? Tell him that you can lose weight, but there's no fixing his ugly attitude.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 26, 2011 at 11:52 PM

 I wish all women would learn to love their body no matter what size they at the time. Most women have phases where they gain or lose weight but what never changes is who they are in the inside. Confidence is the sexiest thing a women can have regardless of her weight.   If you see yourself ugly and complain about it all the time, then eventually you're husband will believe it too. Plus size women can be sexy too, expecially if your confident in bed..your husband won't care what you look like as long as you're giving him a good time.  You're weight gain is just a temporary phase so don't let it prevent you from enjoying sex.  Your dad is a piece of work. Next time he mentions your weight just let him know you're working on it and to stop talking about it cuz it's pissing you off and not helping matters. You gotta draw the line with how he demeans you otherwise he will continue to cross the line and think it's his business to help you loose weight by belittling you.

IWannaLoveAgain
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 11:56 PM

your dad is insensitive. :-\ gaining a little weight and not losing it by the time baby is a year old is not that bad.. and i'm sure your dh is well aware of what your body looks like- thats probably why he wants you on top!! ;) LOL dont be so hard on yourself, and tell your dad to STFU.

3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Nov. 26, 2011 at 11:57 PM


Quoting charliebean:

WTF... your dad is a fucking prick! Why do you let him speak to you like that? Tell him that you can lose weight, but there's no fixing his ugly attitude.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
IWannaLoveAgain
by on Nov. 26, 2011 at 11:57 PM

AND on top of that- i dont know a guy who'd rather have a little tiny girl over having a girl with some curves!! i have curves, and my BF loves it- i'm sure your DH is enjoying it!

MamaJAG
by on Nov. 27, 2011 at 12:05 AM

I know how you feel, but my Dad would NEVER say something like that!  I kicked my butt to lose weight this year before my DH and I took our 10 year anniversary trip to Kauai.  I am 5' 7" and 125 pounds, now (was 156).  You know what? I can still be very self-conscious.  I don't like my  boobs, I don't like my legs, blah, blah, blah.  It sounds like your DH is COMPLETELY fine with you being you.  You are the one putting the pressure on yourself (as was I).  If it bothers you that much, do something about it, OR just be happy and enjoy yourself and your hubby.

tiktikBOOM
by on Nov. 27, 2011 at 12:33 PM
Confidence has never been my strong suit. When I was raised I was told over & over again that to be a beautiful woman u had to be tall (at least 5' 6"), with long skinny legs, a waist a man can wrap his hands around & touch his fingers, & long blond hair. I always wondered why my dad married my short, dark featured mom when he believed that. He said he liked that asians were so submissive. His new wife is Philippino with dark features, & is 85 lbs, he brags s lot how he can put his hands around her waist & she had to wear special clothes bc xs petites are too big for her. I know blaming parents for how u are is cliche, but I think this is why I'm so absolutely obsessive about my curves. I hate them, I want them gone. I try to fake confidence but bc the last of the baby weight has been so difficult to lose Ive gotten frustrated. I kno my dh loves me, he loves ny curves & says I'm beautiful, but in my own mind I'm not.
NDADanceMom
by on Nov. 27, 2011 at 12:39 PM

to answer the ideal weight by doctor standards question.... a woman should be 100 pounds at 5 feet tall and you add or subtract an 5 pounds for every inch.  There is a 10 pound swing in either direction to be "normal".  This is for average muscle tone.  A wieght lifter would be heaver for example.

soooo.... at 4'11" you should be anywhere from 85 to 105 pounds.  Im not in my ideal either and I hate my body.  I hate him looking and I hate being on top.  I do it because he likes it.  He likes me how I am, I should too and you should you.

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