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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I wrote this already and it doesn't seem like it posted. Sorry if this shows up a 2nd time.

My DH went to work early one day, 2-1/2 hrs. I had a very stressful day with the two babies who had colds. I asked him to leave a half hour early which would mean he got 2 hours of O/T. He wouldn't compromise with me.

The next day, he said he was working late. Usually that means 1-2 hours. Instead, he comes home 5-1/2 hours later ! Yes, that's in addition to a normal 8 hr day. And he never bothered to call me at any point. I called him at work about 8 :00 pm to see what was up, and he said he was leaving soon, but wasn't home for another hour (commute time 20-30 min.).

I was resentful that the first time he wouldn't compromise with me, and he knew I was irritated. Then he pulls this the very next night?

I don't just have two babies. I have a dd in middle school, and 4 pets. I rely on my DH. We do chores together when he gets home...neither one of us gets break. I have not had time away from the children in well over a month. One baby gets up 1-3 times a night.

I know he's trying to provide for us and he's at work. But I resent the fact that he makes a decision regardless of my pleas that I'm stressed out and he won't even compromise a little. I think he could've given me that extra half hour, and I also think working 5-1/2 hours O/T was excessive, especially without calling me once that whole day.

I think hes being unfair. He acts like he doesn't see it. I think he just wants to play dumb so he can get his way.

by on Dec. 1, 2011 at 11:07 PM
Replies (11-20):
miss_lisa
by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:00 PM
1 mom liked this

 You complained about the OP complaining, then said "I have it worse so suck it up". I'd say in a somewhat nicer way, but you really didn't, your entire post came off as "if I can do it you can do it" which is a completely false way of thinking.

I don't think your intimately involved enough with every case of suicide or every case of someone mentally checking out to make the statement that they are weak and do not have faith in a higher power.

If you're so happy with your life, why are you posting anonymously and why are finding the need to criticize this mom for struggling with the position she finds herself in?

My DH works just as hard as yours and is gone just as often as yours and his line of work is actually even more dangerous than yours. Most of the time I handle it just fine, but even I have days where I miss my husband and wish he was around to help out more. That's called being a human being, and I bet 10 to 1 that you get like that sometimes too. Unless, of course, you're completely heartless which I doubt you are.

Quoting Anonymous:

To answer your question it is because they are weak and do not have faith in God or higher power. Oh and I am not comparing my situation. I dont complain. I am happy with my life. I am blessed to have healthy kids, mine and hubbys health, beautiful home, nice cars and a man who isnt a sorry ass and works hard to take care of us financially so it is my responsibility to take care of everything else.
I am happy with my life.


Quoting miss_lisa:

 Oh what a bunch of BS.


EVERYONE has it worse than someone. You think what you have to deal with is bad? Someone ALWAYS has it worse than you. That doesn't mean that YOU don't feel stressed out about your own situation sometimes. You are still a human being, and just because you may be able to deal with something OK doesn't mean that someone else can. We all have differences and we all have different levels of what we can and can't handle, or did you forget that your God also made us all differently so comparing your situation to hers is pointless.


Btw, if your God never gave you too much to handle, then why do people committ suicide or mentally check out?


Quoting Anonymous:

I cant stand it when women like you complain about hubby working long hours!! He is home every night in your bed and he is providing for your family. Quit crying about it!! He isnt out cheating on you.
my husband is a long haul truck driver, I am pregnant with our third baby. He just left tuesday and probably wont be back until right before christmas. I have a 10yr old & 2yr old. Plus I have high risk pregnancies and my last one I went into labor at 31weeks and had to go on bedrest. I have no family within 1000 miles of me and dont really have any friends. I have been praying the pregnancy goes well and as long as he is here for the birth ill be ok. But even if he isnt I wont complain. I have never spent a night away from our 2 yr old & we havent been out alone since my bday last year, in december. I dont ever get a break from my two year old. Even when hubby is home I let him rest & if he wants to help fine, if not I dont complain. Oh and did I mention the 2 yr old has never slept thru the night.
Quit being a weak crybaby! It is your job to take care of your husband, house & kids and if you chose to take on pets its your job too. As an adult and as a woman. Plus if you start to nag you are going to push him away.
God never gives us more than we can handle so you should pray to find a way to make it work.

 



 

newfound09
by Platinum Member on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:11 PM
1 mom liked this
No you need to stop being a cry baby. You signed up for this shit when your hubby decided to do long haul! Idgaf if your pregnancies are hard, if you can't handle it don't have another one! But you did and now you have to deal with it all while he is gone. The op isn't used to her husband doing this and she has every right to feel the way she does! Stop with "oh my life is so much worse then yours" bullshit. Remember there's always someone that has it worse. Worse than even a simple lon haul job.

Quoting Anonymous:

I cant stand it when women like you complain about hubby working long hours!! He is home every night in your bed and he is providing for your family. Quit crying about it!! He isnt out cheating on you.

my husband is a long haul truck driver, I am pregnant with our third baby. He just left tuesday and probably wont be back until right before christmas. I have a 10yr old & 2yr old. Plus I have high risk pregnancies and my last one I went into labor at 31weeks and had to go on bedrest. I have no family within 1000 miles of me and dont really have any friends. I have been praying the pregnancy goes well and as long as he is here for the birth ill be ok. But even if he isnt I wont complain. I have never spent a night away from our 2 yr old & we havent been out alone since my bday last year, in december. I dont ever get a break from my two year old. Even when hubby is home I let him rest & if he wants to help fine, if not I dont complain. Oh and did I mention the 2 yr old has never slept thru the night.

Quit being a weak crybaby! It is your job to take care of your husband, house & kids and if you chose to take on pets its your job too. As an adult and as a woman. Plus if you start to nag you are going to push him away.

God never gives us more than we can handle so you should pray to find a way to make it work.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mommys2cupcakes
by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:13 PM
What you need to do is talk to your dh about this and i think your middle schooler should be helping around the house too
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TMommyx2
by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:14 PM
3 moms liked this

 IMO I think you are wrong. He is working overtime to take of his family. You should step up and take your overtime too. He already works full time and overtime and you said he comes home and helps you with chores and your still unsatisfied. How much do you want from him?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Hmmm . . . . I didnt say I had it worse,nor was it implied.
Also its people like you who are blind to what a truck driver has to go thru, driving in snow, ice, wind, hurricanes, tornados, lightening to bring the stuff to where YOU shop and make YOUR life easier! Yes it is dangerous.
As to why I posted anonymously its because I dony have time to argue with petty girls like you.
I said what I had to say. Im thru with convo. Petty battles with girls who like drama are stupid.
too add to my case I had my oldest when I was 20, my fiance died suddenly of an asthma attack. I was young and alone with a 4 month old baby. Did I try to kill myself? No!
Do I miss my husband? Yes of course I do and its hard that the girls miss him. But I try to look at glass half full and look at bigger picture and be stronger because I know it has to be just as hard on him to be away from us. But an adult does what they have to do. I tell him I miss him everyday he is gone.


Quoting miss_lisa:

 You complained about the OP complaining, then said "I have it worse so suck it up". I'd say in a somewhat nicer way, but you really didn't, your entire post came off as "if I can do it you can do it" which is a completely false way of thinking.


I don't think your intimately involved enough with every case of suicide or every case of someone mentally checking out to make the statement that they are weak and do not have faith in a higher power.


If you're so happy with your life, why are you posting anonymously and why are finding the need to criticize this mom for struggling with the position she finds herself in?


My DH works just as hard as yours and is gone just as often as yours and his line of work is actually even more dangerous than yours. Most of the time I handle it just fine, but even I have days where I miss my husband and wish he was around to help out more. That's called being a human being, and I bet 10 to 1 that you get like that sometimes too. Unless, of course, you're completely heartless which I doubt you are.


Quoting Anonymous:

To answer your question it is because they are weak and do not have faith in God or higher power. Oh and I am not comparing my situation. I dont complain. I am happy with my life. I am blessed to have healthy kids, mine and hubbys health, beautiful home, nice cars and a man who isnt a sorry ass and works hard to take care of us financially so it is my responsibility to take care of everything else.
I am happy with my life.



Quoting miss_lisa:


 Oh what a bunch of BS.



EVERYONE has it worse than someone. You think what you have to deal with is bad? Someone ALWAYS has it worse than you. That doesn't mean that YOU don't feel stressed out about your own situation sometimes. You are still a human being, and just because you may be able to deal with something OK doesn't mean that someone else can. We all have differences and we all have different levels of what we can and can't handle, or did you forget that your God also made us all differently so comparing your situation to hers is pointless.



Btw, if your God never gave you too much to handle, then why do people committ suicide or mentally check out?



Quoting Anonymous:

I cant stand it when women like you complain about hubby working long hours!! He is home every night in your bed and he is providing for your family. Quit crying about it!! He isnt out cheating on you.
my husband is a long haul truck driver, I am pregnant with our third baby. He just left tuesday and probably wont be back until right before christmas. I have a 10yr old & 2yr old. Plus I have high risk pregnancies and my last one I went into labor at 31weeks and had to go on bedrest. I have no family within 1000 miles of me and dont really have any friends. I have been praying the pregnancy goes well and as long as he is here for the birth ill be ok. But even if he isnt I wont complain. I have never spent a night away from our 2 yr old & we havent been out alone since my bday last year, in december. I dont ever get a break from my two year old. Even when hubby is home I let him rest & if he wants to help fine, if not I dont complain. Oh and did I mention the 2 yr old has never slept thru the night.
Quit being a weak crybaby! It is your job to take care of your husband, house & kids and if you chose to take on pets its your job too. As an adult and as a woman. Plus if you start to nag you are going to push him away.
God never gives us more than we can handle so you should pray to find a way to make it work.


 




 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:18 PM
Shut up! And for your information I was on iud, I didnt plan to get pregnant. Long haul is not easy. Once again I didnt say one time I was worse off. I wasnt even complaining.


Quoting newfound09:

No you need to stop being a cry baby. You signed up for this shit when your hubby decided to do long haul! Idgaf if your pregnancies are hard, if you can't handle it don't have another one! But you did and now you have to deal with it all while he is gone. The op isn't used to her husband doing this and she has every right to feel the way she does! Stop with "oh my life is so much worse then yours" bullshit. Remember there's always someone that has it worse. Worse than even a simple lon haul job.



Quoting Anonymous:

I cant stand it when women like you complain about hubby working long hours!! He is home every night in your bed and he is providing for your family. Quit crying about it!! He isnt out cheating on you.


my husband is a long haul truck driver, I am pregnant with our third baby. He just left tuesday and probably wont be back until right before christmas. I have a 10yr old & 2yr old. Plus I have high risk pregnancies and my last one I went into labor at 31weeks and had to go on bedrest. I have no family within 1000 miles of me and dont really have any friends. I have been praying the pregnancy goes well and as long as he is here for the birth ill be ok. But even if he isnt I wont complain. I have never spent a night away from our 2 yr old & we havent been out alone since my bday last year, in december. I dont ever get a break from my two year old. Even when hubby is home I let him rest & if he wants to help fine, if not I dont complain. Oh and did I mention the 2 yr old has never slept thru the night.


Quit being a weak crybaby! It is your job to take care of your husband, house & kids and if you chose to take on pets its your job too. As an adult and as a woman. Plus if you start to nag you are going to push him away.


God never gives us more than we can handle so you should pray to find a way to make it work.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mamahogan2
by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:25 PM
After all these battles I think about a woman who has stage 4 cancer and is widowed herself already and has maybe 3 little ones she will leave behind. Or how sick she is in front of her children while going thru radiation and chemo. I have never seen them on here crying about their life. Is so hard. So yes as a few have said somebody always has it worse than somebody else. So for those of you who complain about husband working late, you should feel blessed you have health and a future.
Oh and to the ones saying truck driving is small job or not dangerous, my husband used to drive cali to texas. He had truck blown over in the santa ana winds awhile back. 80,000lbs pushed over like a toy truck. He has also seen some bad wrecks with black ice in northern arizona & new mexico. It is often over looked, just as a policeman or fire fighter puts his life on the line when he goes to work so do truck drivers. Statistics show people are more likely to die in crash than win the lotto.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
miss_lisa
by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:31 PM
1 mom liked this

 My husband has his CDL w/hazmat and tanker endorsements. He works in the oil industry but part of his job description can be driving semi's out to location. We live in North Dakota. I'm fully aware of the dangers of semi-truck drivers, but the reality is that's just not quite as dangerous as working with highly explosive material that, if handled incorrectly, can kill you. Or the dozens of other things on a well site that can kill you as well.

And yes, you did imply you had it worse:

I cant stand it when women like you complain about hubby working long hours!! He is home every night in your bed and he is providing for your family. Quit crying about it!! He isnt out cheating on you.

If you don't have time to argue with petty girls like me then don't. No one is forcing you to reply to this thread. YOU started this drama by picking on the OP for having a hard time, an experience than EVERY person goes through.

And now you're trying to add onto your case. Everyone has a sob story sweetheart, and while I'm sorry your fiance passed away, just because YOU could handle it doesn't mean someone else could as well. That's the entire point which you seem completely oblivious too.

Quoting Anonymous:

Hmmm . . . . I didnt say I had it worse,nor was it implied.
Also its people like you who are blind to what a truck driver has to go thru, driving in snow, ice, wind, hurricanes, tornados, lightening to bring the stuff to where YOU shop and make YOUR life easier! Yes it is dangerous.
As to why I posted anonymously its because I dony have time to argue with petty girls like you.
I said what I had to say. Im thru with convo. Petty battles with girls who like drama are stupid.
too add to my case I had my oldest when I was 20, my fiance died suddenly of an asthma attack. I was young and alone with a 4 month old baby. Did I try to kill myself? No!
Do I miss my husband? Yes of course I do and its hard that the girls miss him. But I try to look at glass half full and look at bigger picture and be stronger because I know it has to be just as hard on him to be away from us. But an adult does what they have to do. I tell him I miss him everyday he is gone.


Quoting miss_lisa:

 You complained about the OP complaining, then said "I have it worse so suck it up". I'd say in a somewhat nicer way, but you really didn't, your entire post came off as "if I can do it you can do it" which is a completely false way of thinking.


I don't think your intimately involved enough with every case of suicide or every case of someone mentally checking out to make the statement that they are weak and do not have faith in a higher power.


If you're so happy with your life, why are you posting anonymously and why are finding the need to criticize this mom for struggling with the position she finds herself in?


My DH works just as hard as yours and is gone just as often as yours and his line of work is actually even more dangerous than yours. Most of the time I handle it just fine, but even I have days where I miss my husband and wish he was around to help out more. That's called being a human being, and I bet 10 to 1 that you get like that sometimes too. Unless, of course, you're completely heartless which I doubt you are.


Quoting Anonymous:

To answer your question it is because they are weak and do not have faith in God or higher power. Oh and I am not comparing my situation. I dont complain. I am happy with my life. I am blessed to have healthy kids, mine and hubbys health, beautiful home, nice cars and a man who isnt a sorry ass and works hard to take care of us financially so it is my responsibility to take care of everything else.
I am happy with my life.



Quoting miss_lisa:


 Oh what a bunch of BS.



EVERYONE has it worse than someone. You think what you have to deal with is bad? Someone ALWAYS has it worse than you. That doesn't mean that YOU don't feel stressed out about your own situation sometimes. You are still a human being, and just because you may be able to deal with something OK doesn't mean that someone else can. We all have differences and we all have different levels of what we can and can't handle, or did you forget that your God also made us all differently so comparing your situation to hers is pointless.



Btw, if your God never gave you too much to handle, then why do people committ suicide or mentally check out?



Quoting Anonymous:

I cant stand it when women like you complain about hubby working long hours!! He is home every night in your bed and he is providing for your family. Quit crying about it!! He isnt out cheating on you.
my husband is a long haul truck driver, I am pregnant with our third baby. He just left tuesday and probably wont be back until right before christmas. I have a 10yr old & 2yr old. Plus I have high risk pregnancies and my last one I went into labor at 31weeks and had to go on bedrest. I have no family within 1000 miles of me and dont really have any friends. I have been praying the pregnancy goes well and as long as he is here for the birth ill be ok. But even if he isnt I wont complain. I have never spent a night away from our 2 yr old & we havent been out alone since my bday last year, in december. I dont ever get a break from my two year old. Even when hubby is home I let him rest & if he wants to help fine, if not I dont complain. Oh and did I mention the 2 yr old has never slept thru the night.
Quit being a weak crybaby! It is your job to take care of your husband, house & kids and if you chose to take on pets its your job too. As an adult and as a woman. Plus if you start to nag you are going to push him away.
God never gives us more than we can handle so you should pray to find a way to make it work.


 




 


 

miss_lisa
by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:33 PM
1 mom liked this

 

Quoting mamahogan2:

After all these battles I think about a woman who has stage 4 cancer and is widowed herself already and has maybe 3 little ones she will leave behind. Or how sick she is in front of her children while going thru radiation and chemo. I have never seen them on here crying about their life. Is so hard. So yes as a few have said somebody always has it worse than somebody else. So for those of you who complain about husband working late, you should feel blessed you have health and a future.

 I disagree. Everyone gets stressed out sometimes no matter how easy or complicated their life may be. Most of the time things are good for me, but that doesn't mean I have days where I just want to lie in bed and do nothing. Expecting people to not get frustrated with their life sometimes because someone else has it worse is illogical and asking them to NOT be human.

DAHLONEGAMOMMY
by on Dec. 2, 2011 at 12:37 PM

If either of my exes had been like your husband, I would probably still be married. I cant get my sons' father to pay the $25/week of court ordered child support. Having one work overtime for the benefit of his family would be like winning the lottery for me. I know it is tough to have to be the sole care taker for your children. All moms need a break every once in a while and there isnt anything wrong with it. However, I venture to guess that your husband would like to be able to enjoy some of the fruits of his labor rather than have to schedule more overtime so that he can better provide for his family. You said you depend on him to help you. He depends on you to hold down the fort when he cant be there because he is working for a better tomorrow. I have been a single mom for most of the 18 years that I have had children. As hard as it is to get a husband to help around the house or with the kids, try having no one to help and you do it all. I am not saying you are not justified in wanting a break. However, having been on both sides of this argument, I can tell you that you husband isnt out lighting up the town while you slave away at home with the kids. You both have your jobs to do and its always nice when you can help take the burden off the other. However, if he is the only paycheck then you will have to accept that there may be times when he cant come straight home to help you and must rely on you to handle things there while he handles things at work. That is what being a team is all about. 

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