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He doesnt want me to stay **Edit**

Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies

My mom is leaving at the end of the month and I want me and the baby to stay with him (her father, my soon to be ex now). She is moving all the way to MD and we are in NY. I dont want to go. But he says I will have a better opportunity there.

Now I have been asking him to give me the money to start up with Ameriplan but he will not give me the $20 to do that. It has been hard trying to find a job here so I can just imagine how hard it will be down there. I know I can do good working from home and I cant really work outside the home anyway with my anxiety, bipolar and bladder issues not to mention our child's schedule and tantrums and just so much stuff. Its just going to be worse moving hundreds of miles away. I dont know what to do right now.

**Edit: I was so lost and hurt yesterday that I left some things out and want to point some things out. I have been with him for 2 years. Our daughter is 1. I am thinking he regrets our child which honestly I dont care about because she will always be loved by me. He knows that I have been trying to look for a job. He flat out said after he told me MD was a better opportunity that he just does not feel like taking care of me and our child. Even though he has been for the last 6 months. 

I dont have any money. Yeah my mom is probably going to pay for my ticket to MD and stuff but I started a life here in NY even without him in it, I want to stay. Other than my mom I have no relatives here I can stay with and a shelter is out of the question. I am so hurt and upset right now. My family is like nomads. We have been to 14 different apartments and houses in 2 states since I was born. Im tired of it. I want my child to have some stability and Im really upset that he doesnt want that too but I am also willing to move on. I cant even lay next to him right now Im so upset. But I will move on.

As for working from home, I am trying to do that. I just need the start up cost. You would think  $20 wasnt much but it is when you are living check to check. My mom gets fixed income so she has to plan out her money and I dont think she will give me the $20 on top of the $40 ticket to MD so IDK. Ive applied to Lionbridge and Leapforce (2 free companies online) and got denied by one and havent heard anything from the other. I am just stuck right now. I told him from the beginning I dont want his child support. If he is not willing to do anything for our child then he can relinquish his rights but he wont. He wants to have control over everything. I buy most of her stuff doing surveys and the such and getting giftcards and paypal money. He just started buying diapers 2 months ago. Im sick. I cant even sleep right now.

Im sorry for making it so long and thank you all for reading it**

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 4, 2011 at 12:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 4, 2011 at 12:58 AM

No one really? I really need some advice please!!

by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:11 AM

ugh go.  He doesn't want you, won't support you, get the fk out.

wth would you want to stay with him?

by JKL's mom on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:13 AM

idk, but here's a bump for you

by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:15 AM
3 moms liked this

Move, file for Child Support & get a job to support yourself & your child.

by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:18 AM


by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:19 AM

Why would he not want to be with you and your child (or go with you for that matter)?

by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:22 AM

This is just my opinion/ advice... and you can either take it or leave it.  Not trying to offend you in any way or sort.  Overall... good luck and i hope everything works out for you and your baby!!! =]

But if he's your "soon to be ex" why would you want to stay with him?  Doesn't seem right for a woman to stay where she's NOT wanted.  If you're not together.  Why are you relying on HIM to give you money.  He's your ex.  Then he doesn't have to help you with anything at all.  I understand you have some anxiety, bipolar and bladder issues... but it seems like you've got every reason to not work outside the home.  So why don't you start working from home?  If that's what you're good at then do it!!! 
Sounds like you're in a pretty bad situation already.  How could it be worse if you and your baby move away.  Honestly...  If he won't give you $20. how do you even think he'll be a good enough support for you and the baby??
if i were you... i'd learn to stand on my own two feet.  it's not easy... but you seriously need to rely on yourself... NOT your ex.  and not even your mom,... but until you get some independence and self-sufficiency... i'd take a little bit of help. - i'd move.  new experienece. new opportunities.

like i said... no offense. and take it for what it's worth.  GOODLUCK!

by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:03 AM

I suggest you find a way out of there.  Believe me, if your ex doesn't want you there you will never change his mind.  I was with my ex fiance for two years, he proposed to me on Valentine's Day.  It was so romantic and a dream come true, we had planned on getting married the following August.  The week of Valentine's Day the following year, he had work, so i took a trip to Washington State to be with my Cousin and his wife while their baby was being born.  We live in California, so it was about a 22 hour drive.  The baby was born on the 13th of February.  On Valentine's Day I called to tell him Happy Valentine's Day and he told me he wanted to break up with me!  He said he wasn't happy anymore and he thought it would be best if we didn't live together anymore.  I drove home and that 22 hours was some of the longest of my life!  I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest!  When I got "home" he was there and I cried and begged and pleaded for another chance at "us", it was really pathetic.  So, he agreed that we could have another chance.  I really didn't know what was wrong, or why he didn't want to be with me, but I didn't want to push my luck.  Then, while I was looking for my credit card bill to make a payment, I saw a charge on my statement for Yahoo Personals, Eharmony and some other dating website.  I was just about to call my credit card company to dispute the charges when I realized it was HIS statement, not mine!  I was heart broken all over again.  I acted like I didn't know anything about it, trying to decide what to do next.  When he came back from his next business trip, I let him know that I knew about the dating websites.  We decided it was best if I got my own place.  I got my own place and I would see him every once in a while, but then he moved to Washignton State.  I even flew to Washington a couple of times to visit him (he asked me and payed for my tickets).  I was so happy because I thought he wanted to get back together.  The second time I went there I just picked up a weird vibe and decided that was my last trip, I was done.  I later found out he had been cheating on me for quite some time with an ex girlfriend of his.  He ended up marrying her the following year.  It sucks because I still dream about him occassionally, he was the love of my life, the ideal person for me, but I wasn't that for him.  

I think you need to just do your own thing, don't look to him for anything, the best thing you can do for yourself is walk away with your head held high and don't let your relationship with him define you. 

by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:05 AM

You answered your own question.
He doesn't want you to stay.
It sucks, yes, but you'll be fine.

So go.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 4, 2011 at 6:26 AM

More info in post. Thanks for everyone who replied

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