Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

WELL MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TO B****..

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:59 AM
  • 8 Replies

 

Twas the night before Christmas, and God was it neat,
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
...
Mama in her teddy, and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor Mama went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and 8 mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

"That was some brothel" he said with a smile,
"The reindeer are pooped, so I'll just stay here a while."

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun, with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And a six pack of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things I shouldn't even mention.

A cock ring, a g-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will sh*t,
So I'll leav'em here, and then I'll hafta split."

He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug left under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reigns of his hitch,
Saying, "Take me home Rudolph, this nights been a BITCH!"
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 1:59 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
osubucksbaby
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:00 AM
O
M
G

Lol :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
annaica
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:02 AM
Whoa.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
crazymom36
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:03 AM

LMAO!!

Karissa_ruiz
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:08 AM
Lmao!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Missleelee89
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:12 AM
Woah! Lmao
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
V.Dubbya
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:13 AM
*CTFU*
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
angel_eyez
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:13 AM
I like this one!!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Leopard44
by on Dec. 4, 2011 at 2:30 AM

awesome!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN