My oldest Daughter Doesn't know she has a younger Sister.
My oldest daughter was put in her grandmother's custody right before she turned 3. She is now 9. I was at a very dark place in my life and I had a real problem with alcohol. I moved not to long afterwards to be near supportive family and to try to get sober. Fast forward to today. I am well over 4 years sober but 3 months into my sobriety I got pregnant. I have a beautiful 3 year old! I AM NOT ALLOWED TO TELL MY 9 YEAR OLD SHE HAS A YOUNGER SISTER! I have to find a secluded room to call her in case she hears her younger sister in the background. She has said to me on a few occasions how happy she is that she is an only child because she would be jealous If she had to share her father or me. It breaks my heart and I can barely speak to her without feeling such extreme guilt about not being able to tell her. I feel like I am lying. When I do go to visit, she begs me to sleep over. I always have to make up some bs to leave because I have to have a babysitter for my youngest and I have to take care of her. When she calls or I call, I have to either hide in the bathroom or go into a room and lock the door to keep my youngest from finding me. I don't want to rip her from her home, she is happy where she is at and has tons of friends. I just keep thinking that I can one day let her know everything! I dream about her everynight, I cry all the time. I keep hoping that one day she will understand, but Its been 3 years and her grandmother still won't let me tell her. My oldest DD now has 2 step-siblings yet I am still unable to let her know I have another daughter and that she has a sister that loves her! I can't even pick up the phone to call her because I know I am lying to her. This is my confession.