Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

numb

Posted by on Dec. 7, 2011 at 7:03 AM
  • 25 Replies
I feel so numb lately...

Nothing matters anymore.
I'm not eating
I barely sleep
I can't concentrate on anything.

I am just going through the motions of my day, every day. Wake up, go to class, pick ds up make him dinner, push my food around throw it out put ds in the tub then in bed sleep. And I do it all over again the next day. I am at the point where I ask myself "did I eat today? Did I eat yesterday" I think I ate a sandwich... I can't remember. I'm not hungry. I think I haven't eaten more than a nibble all week...

My friends are worried. They know something is wrong. They try to cheer me up it doesn't work.

Nothing works.


I need to see my therapist again but my insurance stopped covering it and I can't afford to go...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 7, 2011 at 7:03 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ekralevich
by on Dec. 7, 2011 at 7:06 AM

Why are you going this?  What happened to make you feel this way?

colins_mom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 7, 2011 at 7:11 AM
Its been building for a longtime. There is really nothing that started it... I have had depression as long as I can remember... This is as bad as it has ever been...

Quoting ekralevich:

Why are you going this?  What happened to make you feel this way?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
colins_mom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 7, 2011 at 7:14 AM
And as to 'why am I (I'm assuming you meant doing) this' I'm not choosing to feel this way I can't force happy. I can't even force contentedness. I needed to get it out as to how I really feel since I don't have anyone IRL that wouldn't just say 'Just get over it' no one gets it...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
.Angel.Eyes.
by on Dec. 7, 2011 at 8:14 AM

I don't mean to sound insensitive, I am one of those "Just get over it" type of people.Your thoughts are powerful, you totally are what you think. You cannot live a positive life with negative mind. You can choose happiness. You do have control of what you think about. When people focus on gloom and doom, they become depressed. Fixate your mind on all that is good. Walk tall with a smile upon your face, even if you don't feel like it - it releases endorphins. Turn on some positive upbeat music and dance like there is no tomorrow. Be silly - let lose. Today is another beautiful day to be happy, but you must choose to see it. Make up your mind - Do you want to be depressed today or do you want to live with joy in your heart? You must be happy on purpose. I choose to made this day happy, I am not going to waste anymore days. Celebrate each and every day with sheer joy. I am alive! I am happy! I will live this day with enthusiasm! I will be a blessing to all of those around me, I will brighten someone else's day! Stop complaining and be who you want to be, feel what you want to feel.

Quoting colins_mom:

And as to 'why am I (I'm assuming you meant doing) this' I'm not choosing to feel this way I can't force happy. I can't even force contentedness. I needed to get it out as to how I really feel since I don't have anyone IRL that wouldn't just say 'Just get over it' no one gets it...




I believe my Creator (Jeremiah 29:11) I walk forward in certainty that my life is secure.


colins_mom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 7, 2011 at 8:29 AM

don't you think I've tried that? forcing a smile cant fix a chemical imbalance. if getting rid of depression was as easy as faking being happy i would have been cured years ago. positive up beat music doesn't work forcing a smile makes me feel worse because it isn't real. laughing physically hurts. its like the only emotion i can feel is sadness.

Quoting .Angel.Eyes.:

I don't mean to sound insensitive, I am one of those "Just get over it" type of people.Your thoughts are powerful, you totally are what you think. You cannot live a positive life with negative mind. You can choose happiness. You do have control of what you think about. When people focus on gloom and doom, they become depressed. Fixate your mind on all that is good. Walk tall with a smile upon your face, even if you don't feel like it - it releases endorphins. Turn on some positive upbeat music and dance like there is no tomorrow. Be silly - let lose. Today is another beautiful day to be happy, but you must choose to see it. Make up your mind - Do you want to be depressed today or do you want to live with joy in your heart? You must be happy on purpose. I choose to made this day happy, I am not going to waste anymore days. Celebrate each and every day with sheer joy. I am alive! I am happy! I will live this day with enthusiasm! I will be a blessing to all of those around me, I will brighten someone else's day! Stop complaining and be who you want to be, feel what you want to feel.

Quoting colins_mom:

And as to 'why am I (I'm assuming you meant doing) this' I'm not choosing to feel this way I can't force happy. I can't even force contentedness. I needed to get it out as to how I really feel since I don't have anyone IRL that wouldn't just say 'Just get over it' no one gets it...



Jess0915
by on Dec. 7, 2011 at 8:37 AM
I'm right there with you. It's been building for a few weeks. I think I might have PPD. Hubby thinks it's his fault, he doesn't get that it's no ones fault. Yesterday it got a bit better and today I'm forcing myself to go to my mom meeting even though I don't want to. I'd much rather stay home and not see anyone, but I know this will be good for me. My problem is I'm terrified of antidepressants, there is no way I would take them. I really hate meds in general anyway, but there's also the fact that I know two people who were taking them, stopped and committed suicide. They weren't even suicidal. So, I will just cope, hopefully it will pass, as most cases of PPD do eventually. I can't imagine feeling this way long term, so I'm so sorry you're going through this. :(
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tori911
by on Dec. 7, 2011 at 8:44 AM

 I really hate it when people say "get over it". Can you get over diabetes? Can you get over high blood pressure? Depression is a serious medical condition and I wish more people would be sensitive to it. Anyone who has ever had to deal with it knows how hard each day can be. It's almost like your incapable of happiness. Things that should make you happy, don't. Things you use to enjoy, you no longer do. Getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle. It is no way to go through life.

I would see if your doctor can put you on an anti-depressant since you can no longer seek therapy. I would try to find someone to talk to about it though. Maybe a family member like your mom or something. Medication will help, but it would help better if you have someone to express your feelings to.

Women are called snobs and bitches because we have standards, know our worth, only accept what we deserve, and never settle. Be proud to be a woman!

.Angel.Eyes.
by on Dec. 7, 2011 at 8:54 AM

You said you need to see your therapist, but you don't have the money. You saw a therapist and it only helped with you were being seen, I will assume - doesn't that tell you something? The peace of mind you felt when seeing your therapist was only temporary.

You don't have a choice, other than to choose happiness. I'm very sorry but I am going to be blunt: What you have written hear sounds like your already dead, you've died inside - You're not dead yet - LIVE, dammit!! You're choosing giving away your power. Live your life as you are meant to live it. Your life was meant to be lived in gladness. Life IS a thrill and an lovely adventure!! Don't give up on yourself, your life! Believe in yourself! You are here for a reason... you're wasting your reason! Act like kid again, learn from you child! Live with a song in your heart, a wonderful warm peaceful song.

Quoting colins_mom:

don't you think I've tried that? forcing a smile cant fix a chemical imbalance. if getting rid of depression was as easy as faking being happy i would have been cured years ago. positive up beat music doesn't work forcing a smile makes me feel worse because it isn't real. laughing physically hurts. its like the only emotion i can feel is sadness.

Quoting .Angel.Eyes.:

I don't mean to sound insensitive, I am one of those "Just get over it" type of people.Your thoughts are powerful, you totally are what you think. You cannot live a positive life with negative mind. You can choose happiness. You do have control of what you think about. When people focus on gloom and doom, they become depressed. Fixate your mind on all that is good. Walk tall with a smile upon your face, even if you don't feel like it - it releases endorphins. Turn on some positive upbeat music and dance like there is no tomorrow. Be silly - let lose. Today is another beautiful day to be happy, but you must choose to see it. Make up your mind - Do you want to be depressed today or do you want to live with joy in your heart? You must be happy on purpose. I choose to made this day happy, I am not going to waste anymore days. Celebrate each and every day with sheer joy. I am alive! I am happy! I will live this day with enthusiasm! I will be a blessing to all of those around me, I will brighten someone else's day! Stop complaining and be who you want to be, feel what you want to feel.

Quoting colins_mom:

And as to 'why am I (I'm assuming you meant doing) this' I'm not choosing to feel this way I can't force happy. I can't even force contentedness. I needed to get it out as to how I really feel since I don't have anyone IRL that wouldn't just say 'Just get over it' no one gets it...






I believe my Creator (Jeremiah 29:11) I walk forward in certainty that my life is secure.


ekralevich
by on Dec. 7, 2011 at 9:00 AM

I'm sorry you have gone through this.  I have been depressed too, when I got my divorce.  I still feel that people can change it if they want.  It's a weak moment in the world that you can choose to let pass or you can dwell on it.  I think to many people want to claim it as a medical condition.  But there are no tests to show there are low chemicals in the brain.  We just think that maybe the problem.

AS for the OP, if it is that bad maybe you should find someone who can care for your child till you get better.  It's not fair for your child to have a zombie as a mom.    

Quoting tori911:

 I really hate it when people say "get over it". Can you get over diabetes? Can you get over high blood pressure? Depression is a serious medical condition and I wish more people would be sensitive to it. Anyone who has ever had to deal with it knows how hard each day can be. It's almost like your incapable of happiness. Things that should make you happy, don't. Things you use to enjoy, you no longer do. Getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle. It is no way to go through life.

I would see if your doctor can put you on an anti-depressant since you can no longer seek therapy. I would try to find someone to talk to about it though. Maybe a family member like your mom or something. Medication will help, but it would help better if you have someone to express your feelings to.


colins_mom
by Ruby Member on Dec. 7, 2011 at 3:13 PM
I'm good at faking it. We live with my mom and she helps. But mostly I just pretend to be ok.

Quoting ekralevich:

I'm sorry you have gone through this.  I have been depressed too, when I got my divorce.  I still feel that people can change it if they want.  It's a weak moment in the world that you can choose to let pass or you can dwell on it.  I think to many people want to claim it as a medical condition.  But there are no tests to show there are low chemicals in the brain.  We just think that maybe the problem.

AS for the OP, if it is that bad maybe you should find someone who can care for your child till you get better.  It's not fair for your child to have a zombie as a mom.    


Quoting tori911:

 I really hate it when people say "get over it". Can you get over diabetes? Can you get over high blood pressure? Depression is a serious medical condition and I wish more people would be sensitive to it. Anyone who has ever had to deal with it knows how hard each day can be. It's almost like your incapable of happiness. Things that should make you happy, don't. Things you use to enjoy, you no longer do. Getting out of bed in the morning is a struggle. It is no way to go through life.


I would see if your doctor can put you on an anti-depressant since you can no longer seek therapy. I would try to find someone to talk to about it though. Maybe a family member like your mom or something. Medication will help, but it would help better if you have someone to express your feelings to.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN