Confessions of Radioheid

[radioheid]

 I never graduated from college. In fact, I will be 29 in March, and I have never even *been* to college.

I hate wearing women's clothes. I dread shopping, and pick out the most gender-neutral items I can find.

I don't shave my snatch. Ever. I trim a little, but let's face it---I have a full bush.

I wish I could live in a cabin in the mountains because I despise people. This is not an exaggeration. I sincerely wish this was possible.

If not for CafeMom and the chatter of my nieces, I wouldn't know what television shows are currently airing because I don't watch television. I prefer pulling out old documentaries on VHS, playing Fallout 3 on the X-Box, and reading. I am a total geek.

As much as I loathe people, I often find myself wishing I had the money to send to those "feed the children" programs I used to see on tv. I don't know why---they will just grow up and turn into adults who will contribute to crime, poverty, disease and over-population. But I can't stand looking into a child's eyes and seeing pain and true hopelessness. It eats me alive.

I am mentally ill. Quite. I first began seeing a psychiatrist shortly after I turned 20, and I've been diagnosed with no less than 5 psychiatric conditions since then. I have also been hospitalized 4 times for suicidal ideation.

I often eat my feelings, and it creates a terrible cycle. (I'm sure a lot of you know how that goes.)

I am currently looking for work because I have absolutely no faith in my husband maintaining meaningful employment. If we weren't otherwise such great friends, I would have left him by now. He is a bum with practically no motivation.

My husband's inability to keep a job is the single largest factor in my decision not to have any more children. I refuse to raise children on food stamps, WIC or other government programs simply because I chose to breed with a man who can't get and keep a job that would comfortably and adequately support us.