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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm married to a child

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 3 Replies

Or at least it feels that way sometimes. I was 15 when we got together, and we've been together for 8 years. I feel like while I have grown up over the years, he has not, and he is significantly older than me (I'm not going to say how much because I don't want the point of this post to be our age difference etc.) In some ways, he is perfect for me. He does treat me well. He tells me that I'm beautitful and that he loves me several times everyday. He is affectionate towards me and the sex is amazing. He stays home with me and the kids, he's not out partying all the time and I trust him completely and don't believe for a moment that he would ever cheat on me. He is a wonderful father to our children and they absolutely adore him.

He is not working right now, and even when he does work, he doesn't have much education and in our town it is extremely hard to find a job so he doesn't make a lot of money and I have to work. I work fulltime and I am a fulltime student so when he got laid off we had a long talk and decided that it would be easier for him to stay home with the kids until I finish school because we can't afford daycare and we only have one car. Financially, we can make it on just my income. I was perfectly fine with this, it was actually my idea. However, I am SO sick of coming home to my house being a disaster! I come home exhausted, and I just want to spend time with the kids and relax, I don't feel like having to clean the house. I have talked to him about this, but he says it's too hard to keep up on the housework. Our kids are young, and they do tend to destroy the house quickly. He does clean some, but not nearly enough. He thinks he can clean, and then he's off the hook for a couple of days. He does the dishes everyday but then won't clean the living room or sweep the kitchen floor. It drives me insane! He says he doesn't think he should have to do all of the cleaning, and I don't have a problem with helping a little bit but I do feel like he should do more than me. I feel like he spends more time playing video games than cleaning, and it annoys me greatly.

I don't know what to do. Am I being petty? Am I expecting too much of him? I really don't think I am. But I don't know that this is a good enough reason to let it cause a rift in our otherwise good marriage. Is this something I should let slide? Is it worthy of a huge fight? Please ladies, I need some good advice. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 5, 2012 at 9:26 PM
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Replies (1-3):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2012 at 9:37 PM

Please ladies?

Mamaof3and1tobe
by Platinum Member on Jan. 5, 2012 at 9:42 PM
You have so many questions. I would mention it to him. Or knowing me, I'd go on house strike. I wouldnt tolerate that crap. However, its not enough to let it hurt your marriage.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 5, 2012 at 10:03 PM

I've tried to mention it to him, but he gets all defensive and says it's hard taking care of these kids and keepin the house perfect and that he does what he can. And I'm not saying he does nothing, I just want him to do more. He cleans the living room good every couple of days and usually at least picks it up a little bit everyday. He does the dishes everyday (we have a dishwasher so it's not that hard)but he rarely sweeps and mops, I almost always have to do that. He doesn't do laundry because I won't let him (he changed the color of one too many nice outfits!) and he cleans the toilet and I clean the rest of the bathroom (which has always been our arrangement). I just want to come home to a living room that doesn't have the kids clothes on the floor, toys and books everywhere and crackers smushed in the carpet. 

I can't go on strike. It would drive me insane to have my house be dirty, and I don't feel like my kids deserve to live in a messy house. That's another problem though. He lets the kids do whatever they want! Not literally, he wouldn't let them do anything dangerous, but he can't tell them no to something they want most of the time. They cry that they want to eat lunch or dinner in the living room, so he lets them, and then there's food all over the floor. They want to bring all of their toys into the living room to play, so he lets them. The other day he let my 3 year old rip every single page out of a notebook and they were everywhere. He said he was coloring. Of course, when I got home I was the one who picked up the papers.

Sorry I kind of used your reply to say the things I forgot to say originally. Thanks for your reply. I'm frustrated right now so I'm going on and on ranting. Thanks for listening.

Quoting Mamaof3and1tobe:

You have so many questions. I would mention it to him. Or knowing me, I'd go on house strike. I wouldnt tolerate that crap. However, its not enough to let it hurt your marriage.


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