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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My dh and his ex... Update!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 80 Replies
This may get a little long, but I will try to make it short. If I leave anything out, feel free to ask any questions.

My dh had a friend that he had since grade school named andrea. They were ok friends, not best friends, just talked and hung out every once and a while. They were never anything more than friends, ever.

About a week after we got engaged she called him and told him he needed to break up with me. She told him she was in love with him and wanted to be with him so he needed to leave me so they could try being together. He obviously said no and quit talking to her. That was about six and a half years ago.

A few days before christmas he told me she friended him on facebook. He accepted because she is now married with two kids. I was ok with it because she has a husband and kids. A couple days later I was playing with his phone and noticed he had a message from her. I asked him about it and he said they had been talking though messaging. I asked him to please not delete them so I could read them (he typically deletes all messages after reading them.)

So a few days after that I looked at his messages. I was appalled at what I read! She was telling him about how unhappy she was with her life and her marriage. She also told him that she thinks about him all the time! In all of his responses he was completely oblivious that she was hitting on him! So of course I sat down with dh and told him that I felt she was being really inappropriate. He thinks she is just unhappy and looking for a friend to talk to. Given their past, I think she is trying to get in his pants.

I told dh I am a woman and I know exactly what she is trying to do. He told me to get more opinions. So what do you think? What would you think if your so was in the same position?

Update!
thanks for all the replies ladies! When dh got home last night I checked his messages again. He had told her she was being inappropriate and didn't need to be telling him their marital problems. She apologized then went on to tell him she was going to divorce him. So I talked to dh and told him she obviously wasn't listening and if she is getting divorced that is not something he needs to be in the middle of. We read through these replies together and decided he needed to tell her they could no longer be friends. He sent her a message letting her know. She responded back with a sob story. Ugh. Hopefully she gets it this time and leaves him alone.
Also, sorry if I made it unclear, but she does not have his phone number. They were talking on facebook chat only!
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Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LLeyhe
by on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:39 PM
1 mom liked this
She has no place in your husbands life or your marriage. I think in this situation I would personally make the call and make that clear. Not because I didn't trust DH but because even after he made the step to get rid of her she didn't get the point. If he has no interest in her companionship, I would think it would be a relief to get it over with. He was clear with her then, now it's your turn. Don't be a crazy psycho just be blunt and clear.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:40 PM
1 mom liked this

I would make my husband stop talking to her. It is apparent her intentions are no good.

spcjones203
by on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:40 PM
1 mom liked this

 She's hitting on him...

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:42 PM
2 moms liked this

at least he's open!  If it were me... granted I'm a red headed, irish scorpio............ the BEST and most mature I could come up with would be to answer her back on his facebook from you. Something real sweet like 'hun, we get the whole youre not happy thing but guess what, we are extremely happy with the family we have created so move along to the next ex on your list..............  Good luck!

signed, both of you.

I'll admit it, when it comes to women blatantly disregarding when a man is married, it bugs me.  effing lowlife...

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:44 PM

I hate that I have trouble with that fine line...  ;)

Quoting LLeyhe:

She has no place in your husbands life or your marriage. I think in this situation I would personally make the call and make that clear. Not because I didn't trust DH but because even after he made the step to get rid of her she didn't get the point. If he has no interest in her companionship, I would think it would be a relief to get it over with. He was clear with her then, now it's your turn. Don't be a crazy psycho just be blunt and clear.


NVL0707
by Ruby Member on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:44 PM
1 mom liked this
Your dh needs to cut all ties with her.She is clearly hitting on him.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:44 PM

He should end that...she is unhappy and looking towards him for the attention she is not getting at home...

NDADanceMom
by on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:44 PM
3 moms liked this

 He should tell her, "my wife is really happy with our marriage.  I think her advice may be more helpful than mine.  Here is her number.  Go ahead and call her and she can let you know from a womans point of veiw makes a happy marriage."

He should never speak to her again after that.

Pipersmama10
by on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:45 PM

i aggree with you mama. she needs to go


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 6, 2012 at 2:46 PM
I really would love for him to quit talking to her altogether. I think that she is going to cause problems in our marriage effectually if they continue to be "friends." But at the same time I feel like it's not my place to tell him who he can and can't be friends with. I guess I'm just torn.


Quoting Anonymous:

I would make my husband stop talking to her. It is apparent her intentions are no good.


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