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I dont know what to do....

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
I posted this in another group and I'm so badly in need of advice.

So my husband and I have been together for almost 2 years. When we first dated the sex was absolutely amazing! Other than the fact that I was scared to sleep with him because he was the biggest I've ever had, everything was going great. Then I unexpectedly got pregnant about 2 weeks after we first slept with each other (condom and all) and I got turned off by sex. I felt uncomfortable and I was practically scared he would poke the kid every time we'd do it. After I had DS my sex drive came back and we were back to humping like rabbits. But lately I realized that the sex isn't the same. When we do it he does this awkward postion where he's on top, my legs are closed while his legs are over mine and he's coming inside me that way. When I try to change positions he'll do it but only for a little while. The only time I may get a chance of enjoying myself is when I'm on top but he limits my time doing that too. I'm scared to talk to him about it because well you ladies know sex is sometimes a mans pride. I'm trying to avoid hurting his feelings and I adore my husband I couldn't do that to him. I mean what can I do? Is it that I might be too open due to natural child birth? but I've done kegels so I thought eveything would go back to normal. I mean the sex is really whack now and I don't know what to do
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Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:01 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Ataemommy
by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:12 PM

How old is your kid?

Jessica_Esqueda
by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:13 PM

I read this to my husband, and he thinks its because your vagina is more open due to a vaginal birth. He says when you keep your legs together, you're tighter, so this is probably what your husband is noticing.

He also said that your husband is being selfish by not letting you get enjoyment too, but I think that your husband can't be blamed if you haven't TOLD him you don't enjoy this new form of sex. Do you fake it? If so, that's a problem... most men honestly can't tell the difference and he may think you're perfectly happy that way.

I'd suggest having an open and honest conversation with him. And maybe some other ladies can offer advice, since I'm not sure what they're called, but there are vaginal excercisers and such that help to make you tighter. Nothing will ever be exactly as it was before, but maybe you can get close to what you used to be? Just some thoughts. :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:18 PM

You need to tell him. How else is he going to know if you keep it inside? He's not a mind reader! Don't worry about "sex being a man's pride" that's bull shit. Be honest with him. And about the natural child birth, I highly doubt that has anything to do with it. I have had 4 kids naturally, and my husband says it's the exact same as before I had the kids.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:23 PM
Thank you and your husband.

To be honest I'm pretty afraid to talk to him about it. What if he takes it too offensive?


Quoting Jessica_Esqueda:

I read this to my husband, and he thinks its because your vagina is more open due to a vaginal birth. He says when you keep your legs together, you're tighter, so this is probably what your husband is noticing.

He also said that your husband is being selfish by not letting you get enjoyment too, but I think that your husband can't be blamed if you haven't TOLD him you don't enjoy this new form of sex. Do you fake it? If so, that's a problem... most men honestly can't tell the difference and he may think you're perfectly happy that way.

I'd suggest having an open and honest conversation with him. And maybe some other ladies can offer advice, since I'm not sure what they're called, but there are vaginal excercisers and such that help to make you tighter. Nothing will ever be exactly as it was before, but maybe you can get close to what you used to be? Just some thoughts. :)


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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:24 PM
DS is 10-months-old


Quoting Ataemommy:

How old is your kid?


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auroragold
by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:27 PM

If you have the conversation with things like

"I feel" and "I would like to try" and "could we" then it's not about HIM right?

You're not putting him down at all - just suggesting things that would make it EVEN MORE enjoyable for you.

It's fine that it is how HE reaches orgasm but what about your turn?


If you need to break the ice, use some jokes ..

Jessica_Esqueda
by on Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:31 PM

I totally agree with this. And dont be afraid to ask if he's happy or unhappy with your sex life.


On the other hand, you could make it a sexy convo. Like this, "You know that thing you do where you________________? That gets me sooo hot. I wish you'd fuck me like that all the time. I just cant resist you when you ____________"

Quoting auroragold:

If you have the conversation with things like

"I feel" and "I would like to try" and "could we" then it's not about HIM right?

You're not putting him down at all - just suggesting things that would make it EVEN MORE enjoyable for you.

It's fine that it is how HE reaches orgasm but what about your turn?


If you need to break the ice, use some jokes ..


*** I am 20 year old former formula feeding turned breast feeding, disposable diaper using, anti-circumcising, bed sharing, baby "spoiling", homemade meal cooking, college educated, stay at home mother to two beautiful children, married to a wonderful man who is twice my age and an incredible husband and father. ***

emilysmom8
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2012 at 6:35 PM

 Tell him things like "baby you feel so good in me when we are in (what ever position you like), when we do it that way you hit my spot"

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