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Time is running out, I want a baby, SO doesn't.

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:21 PM
  • 9 Replies

If you dont have anything kind to say, please just hit the back button. I'm only posting this as a vent, to get things off my chest.

SO & I have been together for 5 years & we have a four year old son together. I know, I know.. we aren't married yet. But its not really a big deal for either of us. We are happy with our relationship, we are both dedicated to each other. Not a biggie.

Our son was a big surprise. Not planned what so ever. He told me he'd stand by me no matter what I decided to do. (Keep the baby, abort, or adoption) We obviously chose to keep him. I've always loved kids, I've always wanted at least two. SO is an only child & is happy with just the one.

Well, over the past year I've been having a lot of problems with my lady parts. I keep getting cysts on my ovaries, which are very painful & are going to start getting costly if I have to keep having surgery to remove them. My gyno also said because the way my uterus  is tilted its hard to see if I have endo, but he REALLY suspects that I have microendometriosis. :/ Which could make it hard to conceive again, not to mention the excruciating pain I go through every single month.

My gyno has been giving me Percocets to take, only when needed, because some days I just cant even function. He said he'd only treat me a few more months & then we need to either decide on whether or not having a baby is going to be an option. I want a baby. Badly. I am NOT ready to have a hysterectomy. SO said he'd rather us adopt later if we want another child, then to have me get pregnant now. : / He never goes with me to my appointments, because he says its my body & I should do what I feel is right. Well, right now I feel like we should be trying to get pregnant. This could be my last chance. I dont want to get the hysterectomy & then him change his mind about adopting later. Ya know? A hysterectomy is just SO final. :/ Idk what to do.


by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:21 PM
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Replies (1-9):
DomoniqueWS
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:23 PM

I'll say this.  You can store your eggs and choose a serrogate, you can foster care, or adopt.  If you really want a baby of your own sit and talk with SO and see if he will consider, if not then maybe this is just what has to be.  I hope you get the baby you want though  :)

CabinMommyNH
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:23 PM
Well while you have to respect his feelings, remind him that you will probably have a hard time adopting if you aren't married.
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Sunshine257
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:24 PM

I know exactly how you feel. I have endometriosis the doctors said I couldn't have kids after 28. I have one son and it took 8 fricken years to concieve. My husband doesn't want anymore children and I want one more. I have no advice for you all I can say is I feel your pain.

lovinmykiddo07
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:24 PM


Quoting CabinMommyNH:

Well while you have to respect his feelings, remind him that you will probably have a hard time adopting if you aren't married.

True. I mean, we are eventually going to get married. He is military & we will probably end up PCSing around next fall if everything falls into place like they are saying. And we'll have to get married before then.


Sunshine257
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:25 PM

Oh maybe get your eggs frozen I don't know just a thought.

mommysangelface
by Emerald Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:25 PM

this

Quoting DomoniqueWS:

I'll say this.  You can store your eggs and choose a serrogate, you can foster care, or adopt.  If you really want a baby of your own sit and talk with SO and see if he will consider, if not then maybe this is just what has to be.  I hope you get the baby you want though  :)


lovinmykiddo07
by Ruby Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:26 PM


Quoting Sunshine257:

I know exactly how you feel. I have endometriosis the doctors said I couldn't have kids after 28. I have one son and it took 8 fricken years to concieve. My husband doesn't want anymore children and I want one more. I have no advice for you all I can say is I feel your pain.

8 years? :( I'm sorry Mama. I didn't have any of these problems before DS, and we concieved him like, right away. I dont think SO wants to TTC anytime soon because of how fast we got pregnant with DS. lol Its just irritating. Some days, when he knows how upset I am its "we'll talk about it later" but then other days its a striaght up "no more kids".



nicmain
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:32 PM
That is a tough situation and im sure very emotional for you. i wish i had the right answer. I guess i will say that as hard as it is to imagine right now, whether you carry a baby or adopt or serrogate, you are no more or less a mother to that child. You need to sit SO down and have a serious heart to heart. If he really isnt ready you cant push him and if your body has had enough you have to accept that. You can still have another baby in the future, it just might not be how u originally planned. I like the harvesting your eggs idea. im sorry :(
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Sweety1018
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 3:43 PM
Hugs mama. I know cysts suck. I got them too. Had a 5cm removed last year. I hope u get to have another baby. Best wish for you and your family.
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