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What would you do? Bad marriage

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
1 mom liked this

I am making my mind up about filing for divorce and moving out or at least moving out of the house. My dilemma is that I have some health issues that would make it difficult to always be alone but if things get really difficult, I can either go home or have someone come out.

I have a toddler but have decided that at this point, I can not stay married in an abusive relationship and one that is not a marriage. I could stay if my husband and I could get along but he gets angry and yells in front of the baby and I can't handle that. I have asked that we keep our voices lowered and not argue in front of her at all but it never lasts.

So if I move out, I will struggle financially and if I divorce will lose my health insurance which I need. If I stay, I feel like I am killing myself fast and will never get better and my baby grows up in a toxic environment.

I don't have family where I live and prefer not to move home as I have doctors here that are familiar with all that I'm going through and it isn't as easy as forwarding records. Don't get me wrong someone else could treat my symptoms but my current doctor knows the ins and outs of my surgeries and what I'm dealing with health wise.

I guess I just need some encouragement to let me know that I can do it. I've lived on my own before but the health issues make me scared. If I didn't have those, I would have been gone years ago. As for my husband, I have no idea why he stays and will not file for divorce. We don't share anything, we barely communicate unless it is to argue, and we have no sex life--at all.

Maybe some single moms could give me advice (at this point, I'm not above asking for help with housing, etc.) on how they make it and if there is anyone who has health issues and a small child, please chime in. Thanks



Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 15, 2012 at 4:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:07 AM

Bump, I could really use some advice. bow down

Fallaya
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 12:09 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 16, 2012 at 1:30 AM

Thank you.

Pumpkin_Lady
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 1:35 AM

BUMP!

medicmommy06
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 1:37 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 16, 2012 at 1:46 AM
You can do it. If I can, anybody can. I left a VERY, VERY financially stable marriage. I stayed with coworkers and friends until I saved enough money to get out on my own. I had a 10 year old at the time. Fast forward six years later and I am married to the love of my life, we have a toddler, one on the way and own our own business. If you set your mind to it, you can do ANYTHING. Much luck!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 16, 2012 at 2:05 AM

I was in the same situation... down to even the health issues. I hadn't told anyone about any of my problems until I landed in the hospital the same day as a huge fight... I called a friend of mine while I was at the hospital and told her everything. She was my lifeline. She didn't let me go back home. She let us stay at her house for a couple months... even lent me the money to start the divorce process. When I was finally able to get us our own place, I was on government assistance for almost a year and then finally found a job that had good insurance and never looked back. No matter what people say, government assistance can help those who are honest, hard working people, in a truely rough spot. Don't be ashamed to ask for it. Talk to a close, trusted friend or family member (doesn't matter how far they are)... Hopefully, they will not let you go back. Chances are if you talk about it, you will try even harder to do what you need to do to get out of a destructive relationship. In the end, I haven't been this happy in a loooong time, I am healthier now because I am taking care of myself better, and I can focus on my kids and not worry about my bad marriage. I hope you are able to get healthy inside and out and have strength to do what you need to do for yourself and your daughter.

talopa
by Bronze Member on Jan. 16, 2012 at 2:11 AM

No one should have to make sooo many hard dicisions at one time with sooo much going on. I agree that public assistance will be there to help you get back on your feet. Your daughter deserves to grow up in a better envirment and you deserve sooo much more. Sometimes the hardest part isnt walking out the door. . . its taking that first step. Good luck 

Paperfishies
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 2:13 AM
If you want it bad enough you an do it! Try and save a little money before you leave.
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sunfreezeinmi
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 2:16 AM
If you're ready to leave , go. I wish you the best!
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