Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Very personal - Sorry it is sort of long too. Please read.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

 Very recentally I had a miscarriage. Fourteen years ago I had an abortion.

With the abortion, I was on the pill and I guess it failed. The guy I was with had problems with genetic disorders. I was young, we knew that the possibility of the baby having problems was pretty high, he was much older, we had no money or a place to live, (his parents would kick him out and my parents would kick me out). He was blind, and had to have several transplants. His sister had several. His brother was born completely deaf, and had to have 1 transplant. His parents had disorders and we knew everything was riding against us and this baby having a normal life.

I was already having morning sickness. Puking, tired all the time, etc. Very early on we made a decision. I found a clinic, one that was private and rarely had anti-abortion protestors around it. But when I got there for that first initial consultation there were a handful. We were ushered in by armed security guards that day.

I had to go through a consultation with a counselor and explain why I needed it done, and she had to tell me all of my options and get me to sign something saying I understood the procedure, which she did explain in detail and saying that I knew of all my options. I opted during this meeting for what they called "Twilight Sedation" so I wouldn't remember anything and would be pretty much out of it the entire time.

I had to go home at that point to "think it over" for 2 days before the actual procedure. I went home and tried to keep busy. The night before I went to get it done, I went out with some friends and got very drunk. It helped me to take my mind off of getting it done the next day. On the day, I had a couple of friends drive me, (both guys but refused to allow the guy who got me pregnant to come with me, I knew he might flip out and beg me not to do it and we had already made a good decision imo). As we were waiting in the waiting room, he tried to call me twice. He knew the time of the appointment and I knew he was trying to call and talk me out of it. I didn't pick up and shut off my phone after the 2nd call.

They did an ultrasound to ensure I wasn't furthur along and I wasn't. I than waited in a waiting room with my friends. I was so scared and upset I brought a stuffed animal with me that day and I hugged it. I was brought into a room and told to strip and I did. I put on one of those horrid paper gowns, and waited with a bunch of women. Every one of them was crying or looked miserable and embarrassed.

I had opted for twilight sedation, so they soon came out and gave me juice to calm my nerves, it had medicine in it. I took it and got whoozy. They gave me an IV when I went into the room. I laid on the table, put my feet in the stirrups, and felt totally out of it. I remember me crying, a ton of pain, and the nurses helped me up when it was done. They gave me pads and my underware, and I put those on, and they helped me dress. I was brought to a recovery room and held the stuffed cat and cried on it til it was soaked. I left the room was I was done with recovery and my friends drove me to get medications.

The recent miscarriage? I didn't know I was pregnant. I was all alone, the kids at school my dh at work. I suddenly had searing pain in my stomach. Almost like labor pains. I had a VERY URGENT need to pee. Ran to the bathroom sat down and felt a big plop. I look. Tons of blood, and something that looked like a blob. I flushed it. I was upset and cried a bit. The midwife did a blood test and I found out it was definitly a miscarriage. Big difference don't you think?

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:58 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 15, 2012 at 10:02 PM

 BUMP

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:28 PM

 Bump

nikki32230
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Bump
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Pumpkin_Lady
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:32 PM

(((hugs)))

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:36 PM

 Thank you pumpkin_lady.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:41 PM

THere are retreats for women who have had abortions and need counseling about it. Google "abortion retreats".

I'm surprised you had a cell phone 14 years ago.

I'm sorry you've experienced both.

Petyonsmommy
by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:43 PM
Hugs You did what u felt you had to do. There is nothing wrong with that. And the pain of a miscarriage is something I wish you didn't have to feel it is something I wish NO ONE had to for through. I'm sorry for your loss. I know you posted Anonymous but if you want to message me if u need to talk. Again HUGS hun
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:46 PM

 First off I don't need counseling. It was upsetting but not the end of the world. Also it's surprising that i had a cell phone in 1998? It wasn't that long ago. I never rode a dinosaur to school or had a black and white tv.

Quoting Anonymous:

THere are retreats for women who have had abortions and need counseling about it. Google "abortion retreats".

I'm surprised you had a cell phone 14 years ago.

I'm sorry you've experienced both.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:47 PM

 Thank you hon. *Hugs*

Quoting Petyonsmommy:

Hugs You did what u felt you had to do. There is nothing wrong with that. And the pain of a miscarriage is something I wish you didn't have to feel it is something I wish NO ONE had to for through. I'm sorry for your loss. I know you posted Anonymous but if you want to message me if u need to talk. Again HUGS hun

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 15, 2012 at 11:47 PM

your geiving and it's totaly fine i had more then one abortions and i still get upset thinking about them but i had to because my doctors advised me that i would die if i went full term. I had my daughter but after my body couldent handle being pregnant after her.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)