Or something along those lines... here's my dilemma... I am a married 30 year old woman, I have four beautiful daughters ages ranging from 5 years up to 12 years old. So heres the problem.. the father and i have had our shares of ups and downs.. what marriage hasnt right ? Well , over the course of our marriage I ended up leaving him once already because he was abusive to me , verbally , physically , mentally.... then he stopped and we went to marriage counceling ... things were going ok.. But I never did feel the love for him that I did a long time ago... I figured well, I love him , im not in love with him , but i should act like i am and push myself to see this marriage through for our kids. ok so fast forward to now ... he decided a year ago that he didnt want to work where he was .. he was making good money and we had our own place... he quit that job , we lost our apartment , now we are living with his parents... we have been here for about eight months ... his parents treat me like crap no matter how much i do around here and while i tell my husband these things he just tells me hes sorry. im so depressed here . my parents told me that my husband, the kids and i can move in with them for a bit to get on our feet but only as a family. I have been having thoughts of just leaving, getting a job ,filing for divorce, get my own place , then getting custody of my kids. I really dont feel like I love my husband anymore. he lacks ambition , he still has this shitty job that barely pays minimum wage , he has me cooped up here with his parents . his parents have told him and my oldest child that its me they have a problem with , not them .. so if i was gone they would be happy. i know that if i left i would have to leave the kids with him for a bit and that thought kills me but being here kills me too. im so depressed , im moody , i just feel bleh.oh and if youre wondering if my husband is still abusive ... hes not physically but he confuses me .. he tells me he wants to sleep with other women but then says hes joking , he gets pissy when he doesnt get his way , he thinks he can be mad at me and not talk to me but its not ok for me to get mad. i have to go to bed when he does .. i have to do literally everything including lay out his clothes for work which i think is ridiculous, if we get in an argument im not allowed to speak my mind cause he just gets madder.. "our" money is really his money .. im not allowed to spend it.. only he is. but yet he tells me all the time how much he loves me and he texts me all night while hes at work about how much he loves me . im so confused.