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My daughter has no patience with her autistic brother.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My 18 year old son is autistic but he is able to do things on his own, have friends and do school work with normal kids. He just has trouble understanding things like numbers, moves slowly when doing things with his hands and feet and rocks back forth while moving his hands and such. Anyways my daughter is 16 and has no patience with him. If he is taking a while to move out of her way in the hall way or put on his shoes she will stand right next to him and rush him along. Their only chores during the week are to clean the kitchen up after school. It takes him some time to do it and she will get so frustrated with him and will end up pushing him out of the way or snatching things from him to get it done. Oh and with the hands thing. He will sit in a rocking chair and rock back and forth very suddenly and kind of smack his fingers together(hard to explain) she gets so bothered by it and begs him(in a rude way) to sit still for 2 seconds. 

I don't know what to do. I hate to say it but she is very uptight. She likes things to be done right when orders are given and will freak out if we are late leaving the house. She doesn't like chaos and our house is chaotic. My stepson(17) has learning disabilities and I've been dealing with trying to get my daughter homeschooled because she is sick all the time. So its never dull around here. any advice would be great to get her to calm down a little bit with her brother. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 29, 2012 at 11:02 AM
Replies (21-23):
gracieb3
by Gold Member on Jan. 29, 2012 at 12:05 PM

I don't think the mansion viewing is silly.  It shows them nicer things they might not be aware of and nothing drives you like big dreams.  I'm glad they get some time alone.  I'd push the counselor.  She's a kid and that seems embarrassing but you are the parent and call the shots.  I'd make a deal with her that you will try up to three counselors to see who she likes best but that she is going to see one as she needs an unbiased adult to bounce things off of.  Prayers. 

Quoting Anonymous:

we do alone time with all of them. We will often go to this really nice neighborhood down the street from us and look at all the mansions to inspire them to do good in school and all. I know its kind of lame but its something they like doing and gives us a chance to talk about things. And some weekends she will go stay at her dad's house or grandma's. But I get what you are saying. I've mentioned a counselor in the past and she thought it was stupid and didn't want to do it but i will look in to it more. Thank you.

Quoting gracieb3:

You daughter is impatient.  She also has struggled her whole life with more needier siblings.  Sibling rivalry is not easy and even harder when then the sibling is special needs.  She needs some time alone with parents, she needs private time, she needs quiet time.  She needs a chance to experience that she would miss her brothers.  She is too young to just have this insight on her own.  Have you tried counseling?  Her perspective changes everything.  She needs a counselor to hear her feelings and get where she is coming from so they can step back and make a new perspective on a normal but trying life.  Hugs and prayers to all.  This can't be easy but can be wonderful.  God bless. 



bri2011
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2012 at 2:33 PM
I have an autistic son. His way behind for his age...some of us baby him a lil to much and others push him a lil harder. I thnk a lil pushing w/in reason is good for him. Otherwise he would never do anything on his own or learn anything new.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 29, 2012 at 5:24 PM
1 mom liked this

right, i know. Thank you

Quoting gracieb3:

I don't think the mansion viewing is silly.  It shows them nicer things they might not be aware of and nothing drives you like big dreams.  I'm glad they get some time alone.  I'd push the counselor.  She's a kid and that seems embarrassing but you are the parent and call the shots.  I'd make a deal with her that you will try up to three counselors to see who she likes best but that she is going to see one as she needs an unbiased adult to bounce things off of.  Prayers. 

Quoting Anonymous:

we do alone time with all of them. We will often go to this really nice neighborhood down the street from us and look at all the mansions to inspire them to do good in school and all. I know its kind of lame but its something they like doing and gives us a chance to talk about things. And some weekends she will go stay at her dad's house or grandma's. But I get what you are saying. I've mentioned a counselor in the past and she thought it was stupid and didn't want to do it but i will look in to it more. Thank you.

Quoting gracieb3:

You daughter is impatient.  She also has struggled her whole life with more needier siblings.  Sibling rivalry is not easy and even harder when then the sibling is special needs.  She needs some time alone with parents, she needs private time, she needs quiet time.  She needs a chance to experience that she would miss her brothers.  She is too young to just have this insight on her own.  Have you tried counseling?  Her perspective changes everything.  She needs a counselor to hear her feelings and get where she is coming from so they can step back and make a new perspective on a normal but trying life.  Hugs and prayers to all.  This can't be easy but can be wonderful.  God bless. 




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