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I'm scarred to let people watch my kids

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:29 PM
  • 5 Replies
My fears are three fold. For the first part you have to understand that we live around all of my husband's family and a ways away from mine. His family has shown a lack of respect for my parenting. They smoke in front of my kids even thow I've asked them not to. They have tried to sneak my oldest soda since he was 12 months old. They snuck him enough junk food at church at one point that he got diarrhea. They say things around my kids (my son is 2.5 and is starting to understand more) like "grandmas and great grandmas always know best. Mommies are still learning.). I hate to think about what they say when I'm not around. They have even tried to jump in and "save" him when we are disciplining him (not even spanking him, just pulling him out of a situation, letting him calm down and then talking with him).

The second part is that when I was a kid my parents trusted a girl and her brother to watch me and my sisters. He ended up sexually abusing me. I'm terrified of anything like that happening to my kids. I would do anything to spare them.

Third, if I let the few people that I do trust watch my kids so my husband and I could go out family would inevitably find out and get all butt hurt. I have finally gotten to a place with them where we "get along". I don't know that it's worth it to stir the waves.
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by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:29 PM
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Replies (1-5):
bekalynne440
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:51 PM

bump

Vicariously
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 1:58 PM

I have the same problem, except there is no family (on either side) where we live.

I've decided not to let anyone watch my son until he is old enough to talk. Even then, I think I will still have a hard time leaving him with a babysitter just for a day out with my SO. There are so many sick people around, and you hear far too many horror stories. It makes me a little paranoid I guess.

AmaliaD
by Ruby Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:02 PM

i dont let ppl watch my child either - i dont have as good of reasons as you -  as soon as they showed any disrespect to me i would tell my child to ignore anything gma said.. and i would tell gma to shut up before i ban her from the child completely - i dont play - i am the authority and the only authority except the law and god over my child... no person ever trumps me.   you should certainly not let your inlaws near your kids let alone watch them.   i wouldnt worry about getting along with trash that bad talks a mother while smoking in front of the kid.   thats horrible and no one woudl judge you for getting that out of your life.   and if you dont trust sitters -- good - most of them are fine and some are abusive.   no way to really tell without a nanny cam - so maybe do hidden cams in your house if you ever let a sitter watch them.   i havent ever used a sitter.  i doubt i ever will my child is six.  i really would trust him alone over with many of the adults i know. 

Jinxed8
by Gold Member on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:04 PM

I hate my ex in-laws as well my ex-MIL gives my daughter tea to drink and pop - she's 8 for Fcks sake !!!!! she doesn't need cafeine !!  and my ex MIL talks behind my back and does all kinds of stupid things too.  As far as sitters I've used friends I trust or babysitters that came highly recommended by friends only.

bekalynne440
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 2:11 PM


Quoting Jinxed8:

I hate my ex in-laws as well my ex-MIL gives my daughter tea to drink and pop - she's 8 for Fcks sake !!!!! she doesn't need cafeine !!  and my ex MIL talks behind my back and does all kinds of stupid things too.  As far as sitters I've used friends I trust or babysitters that came highly recommended by friends only.

See I feel like I'm a fairly easy going parent.  I will let my son have a cup of tea from time to time.  But some of them still try to push the limits and give him sweet tea.  A two year old does not need that much sugar!  One time my MIL actually told me "I've raised two kids and done child care for a long time.  I know when a kid's had enough sugar."  She and I obviously have different views on that.  At one point I stopped being around them as much (we go to the same church) because they were giving him so much junk that I didn't want him to have more.  However, as his mom, I like to treat my son every now and then.  I would feel guilty when I did, though, because they had already given him so much junk!  We have definetly reined back how much time we spend around them, and it has done wonders for my mental health!

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